


Oxford Comma

by bootlegtruth



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Maybe angst, Misunderstanding, Smut, They honestly hate each other, but maybe not that much, maybe slow burn, notice how i always say maybe coz i'm literally not sure about anything, teachers! Double b
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:40:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 53,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bootlegtruth/pseuds/bootlegtruth
Summary: In which Bobby and Hanbin hate each other, but maybe not that much. Mortal enemies can kiss, right?....right?
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 238
Kudos: 307





	1. Bobby, and suprises, and the past

**Author's Note:**

> What is this, hunny???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Bobby and Hanbin shouldn't be left alone.

"Do you think they'd kill each other if we leave them alone for hours?" Yunhyeong whispers to Jinhwan, his hand resting on the doorknob, hesitant to open it and get out. 

"I kinda wanna see all the action." Jinhwan whispers back, pouting, pushing his boyfriend so they can finally leave. 

"Um, okay guys. We're out!" was all the couple said before they closed the door.

Bobby clicks his pen on and off, a habit which always led to him being told off but he does it anyway, since he's anxious. He doesn't have a class till three o'clock, and time is ticking so slow. He knows it 'cause he'd been watching. 

Hanbin is on the desk across him, the desk he used to own when he was still new, before it was passed down to Hanbin. The latter was scribbling down notes on the school planner, the sound of pen rubbing on paper fills the room. 

Oblivious to Bobby's sight, Hanbin's knees were going up and down, anxiously twitching as he tries to keep a calm demeanor from the waist up. He questions himself why Bobby was still in the faculty room at this hour. Usually, he was strolling around campus, or in the library, or in the cafeteria, but definitely not inside the faculty room where he could ruin the peace and order Hanbin has built through time with the way he clicks on his pen unconsciously.

"Would you mind..." he starts sternly, stopping mid-sentence when Bobby lifts his head up to stare at him, waiting for what he has to say. 

He doesn't continue. 

"Would I mind what?" So Bobby does. 

"Nothing." he answers, looking back down at his planner. He adds another " _boring_ " written in cursive to the space below. He'd been doing it to pass time and to look like he's working on something really hard. 

Bobby clears his throat. He's clicking on his pen again, this time, furiously like he had to meet a deadline. 

And Hanbin wasn't having it. He slams both of his hand on the table, startling the older one. He gathers the courage to ask, "Hyung, can you leave?" 

"Can I—can I leave?" Bobby repeats, his eyes looking left and right like he couldn't believe Hanbin was talking to him. 

"Yes." 

"No, I can't." 

"Why not?"

"Because I want to stay here. How about you leave?" 

Hanbin scoffs. He licks his lower lip in annoyance. 

"I'm staying here." he says with finality. 

"Well, I'm staying here, too." Bobby parrots.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"I hope you choke." Hanbin was back to his business, doodling words on his planner. "Hyung." he adds.

"I hope I don't!" Bobby says a little louder and Hanbin just rolls his eyes.

///////

Bobby had been teaching for three years now.

It wasn't his dream profession, but his mother said it would be easier to find jobs if you studied Education. And true enough, after he graduated, he worked immediately. 

Practicality over passion. As they say.

Jinhwan was one of the first person who welcomed him in the faculty. The former had been there for a year, teaching History to seniors and they clicked instantly. Bobby used to teach freshmen but he moved up to teaching Literature to seniors just last month when the school started. 

Bobby's major was Economics. When he learned that they only accept Economics majors in college now due to the new curriculum, he decided to take 2 months of Literature as an elective. 

It was quite a big leap. 

Seniors were already adults whereas freshmen were all just transitioning to be one. It was easy to teach beginners than those who think they're better than him. At least, it was for Bobby. For some, it might be good to teach people who already have a little background knowledge on the subject. But he always liked a bit of challenge. 

Everything was nice in his workplace. Never a dull moment especially during lunch time when everyone was around to talk and maybe even gossip. 

One thing he didn't like in particular was the newbie, Kim Hanbin. The guy was unintentionally funny and carefree at times but not to him. There was this invisible barrier between them that he couldn't seem to cross or jump over. He didn't like it. And so they were civil, like true acquaintances. Co-workers. Citizens of the same country. Most of the time though, they were hostile with each other. That he didn't like too.

Before, he tried to figure out the root of it. Why Hanbin was like that towards him only. He went as far as remembering their first meeting. He had summer classes and Hanbin was there for a seminar. Jinhwan introduced them to each other and he clearly remembered giving out a slight smile before dashing off because he was running late to his first class. That was his only memory of the very first time their eyes met. And he wasn't even sure if their eyes _did_ meet. All he knows was that he thought Hanbin was okay looking, and shit he was late!

He tried to do things for him too. To make ammends for whatever their issue was. There was this one time when he bought him coffee. He woke up early to do that because Hanbin was always the first one to arrive in the faculty room. Successfully, he was ealier. He put the Starbucks cup on Hanbin's desk. He didn't leave a note because he figured out that when Hanbin would arrive, it would just be the two of them and 1+1 equals 2 and Hanbin was smart enough to know it was from him.

And also, he was shy. 

Hanbin didn't come on the expected time which was new because he was never late. When he came back from the comfort room he found Jinhwan drinking from the Starbucks cup he bought and Hanbin typing diligently on his laptop with one hand and the other massaging his shoulder. 

"Thanks for the coffee, Bin." Jinhwan said, burping out loud and covering his mouth immediately as he apologized. 

"No problem, hyung." Hanbin didn't even bother to look up from his laptop. 

That was it for Bobby. He accepted Hanbin hates him. No more placating. His stomach lurched enough. 

"And so it seems like we'll be getting a new director soon." Donghyuk says, not much whispering as he shoves a spoonful of rice in his mouth. The guy was always their source of gossip. Alongside with Dahyun whenever she's around. 

"Wait, what happened again?" Bobby asks, snapping out of whatever it was he was contemplating. 

Donghyuk groans, chewing harshly. "I don't wanna repeat everything for you, hyung." he says with his mouth full and he gets a smack from Yunhyeong who instructs him to swallow first before talking again. 

"Alright. Guess, I'll just be clueless forever." he says passively and everyone collectively scoffs at him.

"Maybe if you listened." he hears Hanbin mumble. 

He pays no attention to him as he gathers his plate and heads to the sink to wash the dishes. Their faculty room was a little home-like and sometimes he sleeps in there when he's too burned out to drive. 

Things had been hectic lately. Even though school just started last month. What with the upcoming Sports Fest, he also has to turn in a newly revised lesson plan in relation to him being assigned to teach seniors in the last minute. It wasn't that he was slacking, he's actually pulling an all-nighter for weeks now. 

It was all because he decided to go on a week trip to Virginia to visit his older brother and to celebrate his nephew's first birthday. 

"Bobby, I heard you were assigned to facilitate the ball games for the Sports Fest." Dahyun says to him when they bumped on each other on the way to his first class. 

"All ball games?" he asks, already breaking down his schedule and setting up time allotments for each task. 

"Just Basketball. Mr. Jang told me to tell you. You'll have to stop by his office." 

"When exactly is this Sports Fest again?" 

"September 12. Make sure to pay up for the faculty jersey." Dahyun wiggles her eyebrows at him, extending her hands to imply that she's asking for money. 

"Was that really necessary? I have a few jerseys in high school that still fit me. Can't I just use that?" he slumps his shoulders.

"You're so stingy. It's a matching jersey, which means we all have the same. Oh my god, I can't believe I'm explaining the word _'matching'_ to a literature teacher." and she walks out shaking her head. 

Bobby laughs and tells her he'll pay up and Dahyun raises her thumbs up in agreement. 

So it looks like he wouldn't still be getting some rest after all. 

///////

Literature isn't a tough subject. What makes it hard for his students is that he's teaching World Literature, and that includes a lot of English. Bobby didn't mind, of course, he was born and raised in Virginia, and he stayed there during his younger years before moving back. Although, sometimes it was hard to get your point across especially now that he's teaching a bunch of pre-adults who know exactly when not to listen to his lectures. Phones are the worst invention to mankind, especially because it's inconvenient for him.

He sighs for the third time, distributing hand-outs before dismissing the class and leaving the room. He still has to stop by the director's office. 

  
  


The visit to the director's office was underwhelming, to say the least. It wasn't because he was dismissed early after discussing the to-dos. It was because he was assigned to facilitate the ball games with Kim Hanbin. Which to be honest, was the most unnecessary thing if Bobby could say so himself. Of all people he could be paired up with, it has to be with the one he can't stand.

They don't get along. They never got along. Not even when they both found out they share the same music taste. That they like the same band and coincidentally, has the same favorite movie as well. If it weren't for Donghyuk's childish Teachers' Slam Book, they both wouldn't know. And of course, they were forced to talk about it after that.

Bobby tried. He really did. He asked Hanbin what his favorite Nirvana album was. But Hanbin just thought Bobby was testing him if he really liked Nirvana because _duh,_ any sane person would answer _In Utero_ in a heartbeat. So, Bobby never got an answer. Bobby never tried again. 

"We got enough budget to go around." Hanbin tells him. 

"Budget for what?" Bobby asks, raising an eyebrow and Hanbin seems to not like his tone of voice because the younger scoffs. 

"For team jerseys and stuffs." Hanbin says matter-of-factly. 

"Stuff." Bobby corrects. "And jerseys aren't our problem. All we need is a decent ball. Then we'll probably clean the gymnasium." Bobby thinks for something again before saying, "Oh, and banners." 

"Fine, smartass." Hanbin glares at him. Bobby wants to glare back but Hanbin wasn't looking at him anymore and that would be a waste of time. 

Also, he doesn't really actually know how to glare. 

That's one of his weaknesses and he would rather _die_ than let his mortal enemy know of this fact. 

In his defense, he's been practicing. Glaring is a pretty good weapon, after all.

"Is the ball games competition by section or by year level?" Hanbin asks, looking up from his desk.

"Year level." 

"How about this, since it's a competition, let's split up. Different banners by year level. I'm managing the juniors, and you, the seniors." 

"And what of the freshmen and sophomores?" Bobby knows Hanbin just doesn't want to work with him. He's used to it by now. 

"Donghyuk and Yunhyeong." Hanbin answers immediately. 

"Well, Director Jang clearly said this is between you and me. Donghyuk and Yunhyeong have something assigned to them too so don't try and get them involved. Not everything is a competition, Kim Hanbin." Bobby says, annoyed. Now is the time when he wishes he knows how to glare. 

"Well, _hyung_ , clearly Director Jang _only_ told you because you were the only one there so it's you who should be planning all of these and just lay out all the information to me." Hanbin breathes out every word heavily, smoke almost visible coming out of his nose. 

Why does it always sound condescending whenever Hanbin calls him _hyung_? 

"Anyway, whatever. I'll design the banners. You crowdsource for basketballs or whatnot. Let's meet in the gym for clean up. Good bye." He was out the door before Bobby could protest. 

It's gonna be a long week.

///////

The apartment he lives in was good enough for two functional people only. Yet he keeps on being one-upped by the couple next room. Junhoe and Donghyuk were inseparable. Bobby doesn't mind as long as he shares with the rent expenses. 

Originally, it was the two of them. Him and Junhoe. They were together for almost two years, in a relationship. Junhoe's still in college and Bobby graduated. Even though, they're under one roof, it didn't seem to work out. Bobby was always studying still for his electives. Going to seminars here and there and Junhoe's working part-time at night after school. Yet they stayed friends and ended on a good note. They decided it would be inconvenient for Junhoe to move out just because they're no longer lovers so here they are. 

"Thoughts about college festivals?" Junhoe puts his hand behind his neck, the other playing with Donghyuk's hair who was laying on his lap. They're on the big couch and Bobby just got home. 

"Over it." He removes his tie and shoes, hanging his bag on the coat rack, a habit he's never gotten rid of and had Junhoe always nagging about it. 

"You used to like going to college festivals back in your uni days." Junhoe recalls, raising a brow at him.

Bobby just shrugs. "That's why I'm over it." Donghyuk sits up from where he was lying down to possibly convince him. He's become familiar with that look. He hasn't even talked yet he finds himself not knowing how to refuse. 

"It'll be fun, hyung! And we don't have much to do at school tomorrow except maybe plan for the Sports Fest." He pouts, Junhoe pouts too. And wow, now he knows why he doesn't need to adopt puppies because he just got two for free. 

"Wait, you mean, we're going now?" 

"Hear that, Junhoe? He said, we!" The couple cheers and Bobby shakes his head, smiling as he goes inside his room to change. It wouldn't hurt to have a little break. 

Back when he was in still in college, Bobby never missed out on any festivals. It also helped that he's part of an organization and was required to attend no matter how busy his schedule was. That's how he and Junhoe met. In a College Fun Run, both drunk and wet. They kissed and found themselves tangled in bed. The rest was history but he remembers clearly that it was him who asked Junhoe out first. 

This was the first time he stepped back in their university after he graduated. It didn't change much. The night was young and everyone he recognizes greet him in the form of drinks and an overdue catch up. Just like what Bobby said awhile ago as an excuse, he's over it. Really. He's not enjoying this one bit. 

Junhoe and Donghyuk had left him for booths and Bobby would rather be alone than be a third wheel and follow them around. Thinking about it, if he stayed at home, he would've gotten more rest. Now he has regrets. 

But then there was someone that catches the corner of his eye. Makes him wonder why he hasn't went home even though he has nothing to do here in particular.

Kim Hanbin was in his university, in a festival. And he's got his arm clung onto a younger guy. Taller than him and a bigger built. 

What a surprise. 

His mouth fell when Hanbin reaches out to close his hands on the back of the guy's neck, the guy leaning down to meet him. Their lips touch and they both smile at each other when they part. 

What an even bigger surprise.


	2. Hanbin, and insecurities, and the Fairfax prodigy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Bobby was told to mind his own business, and Hanbin has no regrets.

_"High school is the fucking worst."_

That's what's written in his journal notebook almost a year ago. It's not because of his own experience. In fact, he enjoyed high school very much on his own. 

It's just that he was already accustomed with primary school students that being in an enclosed space with hormonal teenagers is draining him low and empty. 

In hindsight, high school pays the fucking best. Especially if it's a public school with miscellaneous expenses ranging from little to none at all. 

Obviously, he enjoys spending money more than anyone else in the world. He got a little addicted to online shopping and sure, he needs to stop because not all things sold are good and most of the time he gets scammed but hello? There's one more stock of a lava lamp that also acts as an alarm and he would die if he didn't get his hands on that particular thing. 

When he did get the lava lamp, it has no spare batteries and he found out that said batteries for the alarm can only be bought in Japan. And there's no way he would go to Japan just to make sure that wicked lamp gets to wake him up every morning. 

Jinhwan studies the thing on his desk while they were having a break. 

"So it's a lava lamp." He says, squinting his eyes to find where the batteries were supposed to be hidden. 

"Yeah, what else could it be, hyung?" Hanbin shakes his head disapprovingly. He decided to just display one of the many fruits of his failed online shopping experiences on his desk. 

"He thought it was a butt plug!" Yunhyeong shouts from his own desk not too far and Hanbin feels his ears heating up. 

Jinhwan shushes his boyfriend, blushing too while mischievously smiling at Hanbin, putting down carefully the supposed-to-be lava lamp back on his desk. 

Bobby snorts and Hanbin's eyes immediately fly towards his direction. He blushes even more. Bobby wasn't even looking but he curses him in his head like a thousand times before continuing whatever he was doing. 

Whatever he was doing actually equates to the layout of every year level's banners for the Sports Fest. It wasn't much work but he still complains inside because what the fuck is Bobby going to do anyway? Other than suck the Director's ass that is? He hasn't seen the guy deliberately work at anything and as the co-facilitator for the ball games, he has the right to complain. 

After all, those who never complain are never pitied. 

That's according to Jane Austen.

His favorite author. 

Even though he only read Pride & Prejudice. 

Once.

So, when it was only the two of them left in the faculty room (which happens a lot more often now than necessary), he purposely slams his fist on the table. 

The way Bobby jumps from his seat—startled and alarmed—was enough for Hanbin to crack a little smile. He hides it eventually. 

"Doing things all on your own sure is tiring." He says out loud, stretching his arms and cracking his knuckles. Of course, Bobby would hear it. It's not like he's wearing headphones, and it's obviously not like he's deaf. It's just the two of them so if Bobby's not dense then he'll know immediately that Hanbin was _subtly_ pertaining to him...in a way. 

But Bobby wasn't _that_ fazed. Hanbin watches as the older went back to staring at his laptop. Laughing at something which are probably stupid cat compilations on YouTube and that makes Hanbin's blood boil more.

"Especially if you're doing tenfold of the work while the other person is busy doing everything but help." He emphasizes every word until Bobby stands up abruptly. 

Hanbin was taken aback, for sure. His mouth goes dry as Bobby stares at him intensely. What was he on about again? Ah, complaining. And why does he want to curl up in a rock and hide? Ah, Bobby.

Bobby walks towards him, hands him a flash drive, doesn't speak a single thing, and then goes back to his desk, slumping too loud like he was mad. And maybe he is. 

Hanbin rolls his eyes before inserting the flash drive in the USB port, getting his courage back because Bobby was far away from him now.

Well, that was surprising. 

Bobby had done the layout for the tarpaulin, the template for the jersey which only needs to be altered according to the year level's respective colors, and the certificates for the runners up. 

He didn't _just_ do all of that. He did it _nicely_. Not in a kind way but aesthetically. He didn't know Bobby had a way with Photoshop. Everything Bobby did was even better than his own and now he wishes Bobby should've been the one to do the layout for the banners. 

He wouldn't say it out loud though. Never. 

"It sure is tiring to complain when you're not even finished doing whatever you're supposed to do." Bobby talks back. 

Hanbin murmurs more curse words. Why the fuck is that guy good at everything? Life is so unfair. He huffs and glares at the screen in front of him. He's doing a really mediocre job at designing the banners. If he didn't have any pride left, he would've asked for Bobby's help but to hell with that. The faculty needs to suck it up and be content with his average graphic designing skills. 

He's a teacher, not an artist.

He lifts his head up when he hears a noise coming from Bobby's desk. It was his alarm, signifying that his class starts in 10 minutes. He watches him rummage through his things, preparing to flee. Bobby meets his eyes but he doesn't move a muscle. 

"I could finish the banners, you could crowdsource for the basketball, if you like." Bobby suggests, slinging his bag on his shoulder and heading towards the door. 

"No thanks." Hanbin answers, finally averting his gaze and focusing back on his laptop. 

"Suit yourself, Hanbin-ah." He notices the condescension in Bobby's tone before he leaves. He closes his fist in contempt. The Comic Sans font blaring on the screen before he puts it to sleep. 

He should've accepted the offer. 

///////

Hanbin had always had something in him that wanted to _please_ people. He doesn't like mediocrity, he likes being the best. And sometimes, or most of the time, he doesn't really get what he wants, no matter how much he tries. If anything, the feeling sucks big time. 

He knows what he's capable of, and especially those of which he's not. But he doesn't take that as an excuse to slack off just because he wasn't particularly accustomed to doing this one thing. 

Back when he was still studying (and diligently at that, not as if he didn't stop because he still has lesson plans), he was a big fan of History. Not just Korean, but World. He read excessively to the point that every time he closed his eyes, he could imagine wars in vivid colors and he would tell his mother about it. He read about child geniuses and thought of himself as one. He convinced her to enroll him to music classes and he learned to play different types of instruments after a year or two. He memorized the first 100 value of pi, just for the sake of bragging about it. (Anyway, nobody cared about that one bit. Which sucked because he didn't sleep after two nights of memorizing by rote. It was pretty useless too, to be honest.).

At first he thought he was doing all of it for self-gratification. That it was for him, and him only. And if people enjoyed it, then that's a bonus. But the real answer lies to those who didn't find his _talents_ amusing. He was even told that it wasn't natural enough. Like he was trying too hard to show how good he was. 

That's when he became aware that there was a _need_ inside of him to be better, do better, be one step ahead. He hated anyone who has it easy. 

That's why there was a burning, irrational detest when it comes to his co-worker _Bobby._

He met him in summer when he was about to attend a seminar and Bobby had classes. It was brief but he remembers it well. The older was dressed neatly, shirt buttoned in the right places with only two from the top popped open, like it was teasing from showing skin to being prude. Just the right mix. He was sporting a clean cut raven hair, fringe swept sidewards to show his forehead and his face was flawless. Subjectively, he was exactly what Hanbin would describe as handsome. Much to his dismay, they didn't interact much but he remembers smiling at him and being smiled back. Then he was running away, probably running late. 

It didn't start at that. Not at all. Hanbin never forgets a face and when he was back home, researching about his co-workers to know what to expect, he stumbled upon Bobby's facebook page. 

His profile picture was the flag of Korea but his cover photo was that of him and a boy who was a little bit taller. Bobby's hand was on the boy's shoulder and they were both smiling widely to the camera, dressed in casual clothing but only half of their bodies were shown.

Hanbin scrolled to find more about him and he realized that didn't use it that much. Almost all of his wall's contents were tagged pictures from relatives and classmates and Hanbin felt like he knew of him since then. And that's when the insecurities start flooding in. 

Bobby had his way laid out for him. Everything was handed in a silver platter and all he needed was to eat. 

There was a video of a five year-old him playing the piano that went viral on YouTube entitled _Fairfax Prodigy_. He also found an interview about him which was aired on national television. Bobby was eight, his eyes were bright like two crescents and he smiled like it was nothing. Like what he was doing was a common occurrence. Like he was used to people wondering how or why he was so smart at such a young age. 

_"Do you see yourself as a genius, Jiwon?"_ The brunette white woman asked with a child-friendly smile, giving Bobby the mic and the kid held it with a firm grip, close to his mouth before he was advised to lower it down. 

He smiled with his eyes, answering in perfect English, _"No, I think I'm more of a learner. Being a genius meant that you've already done something, like a contribution to the world. But I'm still young and maybe when I grow up, I'll have the answer to that. If I don't die, that is."_ The interviewer laughed. 

By the end of it, eight year-old Bobby was asked to solve different types of Rubik's cube puzzles, answer complicated equations, play music, and even recite capitals. It was like a kid's survival show, except there was just one contestant. Everyone clapped in the end. 

Hanbin hated it. 

He didn't like that Bobby was eloquent, that he had exposure, that everyone loved him for doing things that he did too. He didn't like that it was _...natural._

He didn't like that Bobby was born with it and he has to learn. 

He was insecure. 

///////

Lunch time came early and his classes weren't until two in the afternoon. Yunhyeong was packing up his bag and getting ready to eat out, with his boyfriend Jinhwan nagging him to move faster. 

"Where are you guys headed?" Hanbin asks from his desk, shutting down his laptop and clearing out his table from the unnecessary staples he had managed to waste after a few documents. 

The couple stops for a moment to think, looking hesitant to tell him where exactly and Hanbin gets it. They must've wanted to eat by themselves and didn't want him to bear the burden of being a third-wheel. 

"It's the newly opened Steak House not too far from school. Donghyuk and Dahyun went there yesterday and they said the food was top-notch so we wanted to try too." 

"Yunhyeong sulked because he wasn't invited yesterday." Jinhwan shakes his head as Yunhyeong explains why he was _sulking_ and it was because Donghyuk knew he was craving steak but still forgot to bring him there. 

"Anyway, will you come? We're leaving in a minute." Jinhwan glances at the watch in his wrist, and he smiles as he nods. He stands up and walks closer to them, just as he was about to tell them how excited he was to be eating steak after not doing so in a while, Bobby comes out of the door.

"Sorry, I was a little late. Let's go?" He says, sporting a wide smile and when his eyes meet the direction of Hanbin's, it quickly fades into a frown. 

"Hanbin will be eating with us. Hope you don't mind." Yunhyeong winks at him and he watches as Bobby gets even more _angry._

If it was any other time, Hanbin would be the first one to concede because he can't stand being in close proximity with him willingly. But he stares at Bobby like he was testing the waters, waiting for him to be the one to leave. He didn't. So no one did. 

"I do mind, but I can work through it because I'm a professional." Bobby says out loud and he scoffs, how dare he?

"I do mind too. I mind it so much, like my hands are itching to strangle someone." Hanbin says out of pettiness, Bobby rolls his eyes. 

Jinhwan claps as if what was happening was the most interesting thing. "Great, you both mind! Now, let's get going." 

Hanbin thought it would be easy. He thought his friend wouldn't purposely let them have a go at each other and yet here they are, the both of them lining up to order food, side by side like they get along very well. Like friends. 

Which was very much not the case. 

Bobby was the one to speak, Hanbin watches closely. He ordered four steak meals, their current bestseller and one triple chocolate frappe.

"You want add-ons?" Bobby asks him, eyes directed on the counter and not to him. 

"Strawberry. And I'll pay." 

"I mean, of course, you will." Bobby shakes his head like he was being ridiculous and then proceeds to tell his extra order. 

The girl who was manning the counter leaves to get their orders and they wait to the side. Hanbin taps his fingers on the marble table as Bobby gets his wallet, a simple brown leather without any further designs and when he opens it to get cash, he _almost_ couldn't stop himself from gasping. 

There was a polaroid stuck in between it, and since his eyes were clear enough, with 20/20 vision, he sees that it was of Bobby and another guy. Bobby's prominent jawline faces the camera as he kisses the guy's cheek. The other one smiles with his gums showing, mouth open as if shocked. 

Hanbin recognizes him. It was Donghyuk's boyfriend who visits the faculty every now and then to bring lunch. 

It was Donghyuk's boyfriend who was fairly close with Bobby. 

Junhoe. 

And because he never forgets a face, he remembers he was also the guy in Bobby's cover photo one year ago.

_Fuck._

"I probably shouldn't tell you this but I saw you last night at the festival." Hanbin snaps from his thoughts when Bobby starts speaking, counting the money in his hand. 

"What about it?" 

"You were with a student." Hanbin raises his eyebrow, head cocked to the side. He knows where this is heading to. He was only with one student and he doesn't want to make excuses for _him_ had they been caught.

"So?" 

"Was that your boyfriend?" Bobby finally looks at him. 

"What is it to you?" Hanbin was starting to get irritated, he was frowning already. 

Bobby shrugs. "I don't know. I just never thought you'd go for someone younger than you." And Hanbin lets out an absurd laugh at that. 

"Get off your high horse, hyung. Didn't you also fucked a student? And aren't you still hung up on him until now? Even though he already has a boyfriend?" He smiles to himself when he realizes he struck a nerve, with Bobby's face crumpling and his fist clenching. 

So, like he didn't heed the warning signs, he adds, "At least get over your ex first before you start preaching on me." 

He doesn't regret it one bit. 

Okay, maybe he does. Just the half.


	3. Bobby, and Fitzgerald, and Junhoe's dog tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Bobby gets rejected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another boring chapter. I swear, I'll make things interesting for the next, or the next, or the next, dot dot dot.

There was never a moment in his life when he genuinely wanted to punch someone. 

Way back, he had found himself in the middle of fistfights but that was only because he's the mediator. His mother was very clear about not ever coming home with bruises and busted lips and Bobby never once tried to defy her. Except maybe when he came out as pansexual but that was years ago and she's fine with it now. At least he hopes so?

The moment never came until he was in the steak house, near the high school where he teaches and he was face to face with Kim Hanbin, who was raising his eyebrow at him like he was someone superior when in fact, he's two inches taller than him _and_ older. Not by two inches too though, but a year. 

He clenches his fist inside his pocket and sighs. What was it to him if he's not yet over his ex? Who happens to be one of his co-worker's boyfriend now? Who happens to live in their apartment? Who happens to irritate him whenever they fuck in the next room without so much as a consideration that he's polishing a lesson plan and Ezra Koenig from Vampire Weekend's voice wasn't loud enough to shut out their moans? _Fuck._

And why was this _little bitch_ so mad when he only told him he didn't know he liked young dicks? It's not like he said it was unethical, which it was considering his boyfriend was still a student even if he's not _his_ student. But anyway, he's not a hypocrite and he acknowledges that his ex was also a student (and still is) when they were fucking so it's not a big deal as long as they're two consenting adults. So what was Hanbin's problem? 

He was just being straight up annoying. Like usual.

"Here's your order, Sirs." He snaps back into the matter at hand when the girl behind the counter speaks, smiling at them without knowing there was a dark aura which also acts as a barricade before they start strangling one another. Bobby knows he's got more patience and Hanbin probably has some unresolved anger issues so it wouldn't end well. 

When they were back to their booth, both were mute. He sits beside Jinhwan and Hanbin was across them, putting the tray carefully and taking his strawberry shake without so much as a hum. Yunhyeong narrows his eyes but shrugs anyway, letting it go. Maybe they were used to it by now. 

"Why do you guys have shakes and we don't? That's unfair." Jinhwan's complaint was the last sentence they heard because there wasn't any answer and lunch was about to end. 

He remembers Hanbin glaring at him before he was storming out of the faculty room and onto his class, further irritating him. He felt like he was rubbing it in that he can't glare so he was left with a long face. He especially didn't like that it was Hanbin who caught him because now he has a leverage. Bobby hates being one-upped by anyone he knows nothing about. Hanbin was one of them.

He teaches Fitzgerald with a heavy frown. 

"This man stole ideas from his wife so I'm not very fond of him, hence my current expression." He reasons to his students when he couldn't fix his face and be a professional. Luckily, Fitzgerald was a drunkard asshole and high schoolers are too gullible to question him. "Anyway, let's talk about Jay Gatz." 

///////

"Did you find someone at the festival, hyung?" Was how Junhoe greeted him after he had removed his shoes and hung his bag on the coat rack. 

He lifts his head up to look for someone and tilts it when he doesn't see him. "Where's Dong?" 

"Out. Anyway, stop avoiding the topic. So…?" Junhoe wiggles his eyebrows expectantly and he groans at that, shaking his head. He was ready to head to his room before he was being pulled at the arm by the younger, narrowing his eyes as if he knows he wasn't in the mood to talk about finding _someone._ Like a significant other. 

Junhoe always does this to him. He was so adamant about wanting him to be in a relationship again, just because he's happy in one. Bobby doesn't particularly hate it. Of course, it's been a year since they broke up. It makes sense for him to have another person by his side. And it's not like he's not looking for it. Honestly, it would be nice. It takes his mind off things. 

What he does hate is the feeling that Junhoe knows he's not ready to move forward yet but he still pushes him to go. Like forcing a newborn lamb to walk on a straight line and scolding it for not being able to do so. Bobby takes his time. And he likes to take it long, to drag it out until he's finally healed even if it means he gets to hurt more. He's not over him yet.

Junhoe doesn't understand. 

Because it was so easy for him to find a new one like he's been waiting for the breakup to happen. 

Bobby thinks it might be the reason why he can't let go. He needs answers from the questions he's too afraid to ask. 

"Hyung." There it is. Why was he so fucked? Just one call and he's sighing back to face him, a tired smile painting his lips as he cocks a brow to ask him what he wants. Because he'd give it to him in a heartbeat without so much as a single blink. 

"Hmm?" 

"Forget about what I said. I got you something." He was smiling as he fished for _something_ in his pocket, pulling it out and laying it flat on his palm. 

Bobby stares at the silver plated military dog tag on his hand, the chain dangling from it and he rubs his thumb on the flat surface of the silver metal. "What's it for?" 

Junhoe shrugs. "Well, I told you your birthday gift would be a little late." He scratches the back of his neck shyly and Bobby fondly drinks in the sudden flush of his cheeks. Like the old times. 

He remembers last year's birthday very well. He gave Junhoe an early Christmas gift and coincidentally, Donghyuk got him the same. That's when he first realized it was really over between them for Junhoe because there was a significant spark in his eyes when he saw his boyfriend's gift, which was the exact same as his, which Junhoe saw first, which unfortunately didn't get the same reaction and just a simple _thank you._ He considers it his worst birthday and decided to spend Christmas in Virginia with his family. 

"That's so sweet of you, June. Thank you." He wears the necklace immediately, letting the tag fall down just above his chest. 

The younger rolls his eyes and punches him jokingly, running back to his room with school works as an excuse. 

He touches the plate once again, smiling to himself. There was an embossed letter on the far right and when he squints his eyes to find out what it was, it says, _"J"_

Bobby didn't want to think it meant something else other than _Jiwon._  
  


The next morning, he was extra early in the faculty room. Not as early as Hanbin though but it's still a record. He's in a great mood and nothing, not even a certain someone, can ruin it. He unconsciously rubs the metal plate hanging from his neck and bites his cheeks to keep a smile from forming on his lips. He sits on his desk like he was in a dream. God, he really is so fucked. 

Donghyuk comes in shortly after, with a generic band-aid on the lower part of his neck and he receives a teasing from Jinhwan and Yunhyeong saying he's been _wilding out_ last night. The guy says it's not a hickey but a light scratch, but who was he kidding? They're all adults and they know exactly what it was. 

Bobby _heard_ them too, last night. 

But that's not important, because it doesn't spoil his mood one bit. 

What does, though, was when he caught Hanbin staring at him like he pitied him. He knows that look. He despises that look. So he narrows his eyes at him until Hanbin looks away. He hears a mocking scoff in return. 

"Anyway, who wants to accompany me in getting the faculty jerseys?" Donghyuk dismisses the fuss about his _light scratch_ and changes the topic. He looks around to find someone, when their eyes meet, he smiles. "Bobby hyung?" 

And before he could even protest, say his infamous excuse of proofreading his students' essays, Hanbin was raising his hand like he was in some kind of a quiz bee. "I'll come with. Got nothing else to do." Hanbin shrugs. 

Donghyuk seems to be surprised at his sudden initiative but he nods anyway. "Great. I hope it looks cute. I haven't seen the design." 

"It is!" Jinhwan exclaims. "Thanks to our resident graphic designer." He points at him and he shakes his head, a smile escaping his lips as he waves his hands like it's nothing. 

"Yeah, thanks to you we'll be wearing cute jerseys. Imagine if Hanbin made it instead." Yunhyeong snickers, earning a frustrated grunt from Hanbin who was pouting. 

"Hey, I tried my best!" He reasons. 

The arts teacher snorts, and his boyfriend eyes him sternly. He stops teasing Hanbin then. 

The others made their way inside the room too, with Dahyun starting the gossip run that the director's wife had a heart attack and that's why he's preparing to quit. Donghyuk calls her bluff immediately and they start fighting about which has the most facetious information and which sounds more true. It went on until the bell rings. They scrammed out to start their first class. 

///////

The preparation for the annual Sports Fest was the most harrowing experience a teacher could have in a busy public high school. 

First of all, his students all have the same excuses of practicing for their respective games because apparently, they're all sporty. And apparently, he's got no one to teach because the others who were left behind decided it would be fun to watch and support instead of studying about the importance of the green light in the book called The Not-So Great, Very-Mediocre, Gatsby. 

And if one thinks it's better to have no students present to teach, no. Because the aftermath was worse. Someone invented something called make-up classes which happen to be on the same date as his rest day, which is Sunday. That means he'll be slaving away to talk about someone nobody is interested in, not even himself. 

He hates Fitzgerald more than he hates Shakespeare. 

So, like usual, he was all alone on his desk, in front of the empty classroom with a few students coming and going to get makeshift banners to cheer for their respective sports players. Bobby wishes them luck. He really does. And another one for the surprise quiz he's preparing for Sunday, just to get back.

He starts fixing his schedule that day before he heads back to the faculty room. There was a knock on the door and he squints his eyes wondering if it was another one of his students. "Come in." 

The door reveals it to be Hanbin, breathing heavily like he's been running and he raises an eyebrow at him to ask what he wants. 

Hanbin breathes. "Team jerseys." And again. "Faculty room." 

But as tiresome as it is though, he couldn't wait for the Sports Fest tomorrow. After all, he used to be sporty and shit back in high school. The highlight of the event was the faculty sports match. It changes every year. Last time, it was table tennis. Which managed to land him a reputation after winning two years in a row. 

And now, it's basketball. 

He still has a few hours to study about it. That's what he always does anyway. He's not particularly good at any sports. He just practices. 

Hanbin has now recovered and he seems to be breathing normally now as they both walk to the direction of the faculty room. Nobody was talking until it was Hanbin who first broke the silence. 

"Donghyuk asked me if he could facilitate the basketball games instead." 

Bobby starts walking slowly, hands in his pockets and he accidentally looks down on his chest, catching a glimpse of the embossed J on his dog tag, shining from the afternoon sun's reflection. "Like, if he could replace me or replace you?" He asks. 

"Me. He wants to facilitate with you." 

"Ah." 

"I said no." 

He halts completely at that. "Why?" 

Hanbin shrugs. "Just felt like it. Or maybe I wanna see how much of a basketball loser you are." 

Bobby snorts at that, shaking his head unbelievingly. He releases a relieved sigh though. Why would Donghyuk want to facilitate with him? Was it not enough that they're literally living together and they see each other in the house everyday? God, he needs to move out. 

Fuck Junhoe and his memories. Maybe that's the reason why he can't move on. The house. The witness. 

"Between the two of us, you've always been the loser." He snides. Hanbin glares at him. "And hey, I've seen the banners you made. They all suck, by the way." And he's thankful Hanbin wasn't violent because he's sure if he was, he'll definitely get stabbed. 

The younger just widens his eyes threateningly, and Bobby mocks him by mirroring his expression. Hanbin was the one to open the door. 

"Oh, thank god. You guys are here now." Jinhwan skips to them excitedly, holding his jersey to his chest and Bobby couldn't help but be proud because he designed those and they look pretty cool. "Look at this. Sick, right?"

"Uhuh, I wonder who made those." Bobby jokes and he hears another scoff from Hanbin who was now heading to the commotion in his desk, they put the jerseys there and he was complaining already. 

"Guys, hurry! It's almost dismissal time! They're closing the school early for tomorrow's event." Yunhyeong shouts. 

Bobby goes to Hanbin's desk to reach for his jersey. A grey and white one with their surname and chosen number at the back and the word "FACULTY" in front. 

The others got busy trying it on and Hanbin was shooing them already because they were on his desk so he didn't have the chance to do so. He puts the jersey in his sling bag and bids goodbye back to the staff ready to go home. 

"Hyung!" Donghyuk comes up to him when he was getting ready to leave. He raises his head to look at him, catching Hanbin halting from his peripheral vision. 

"Hmm?" 

"Junhoe and I will be eating out tonight." He whispers, and Bobby wonders why because it's not actually a secret. Junhoe visits the faculty every once in a while. The secret was that they're exes but it's not even in the context. And Hanbin was the only one who knew aside from them. He already made sure to get rid of the polaroids in his wallet.

By getting rid of them, he means stashing them into the deepest part of his drawers. He's a sentimental person, sue him. 

He laughs awkwardly, "Yeah, sure. I'll be eating out too. Tell me the restaurant where you guys will be and I'll make sure to avoid it so we'll not cross paths." He jokes. 

Donghyuk rolls his eyes at him and smiles. He tells him he'll text once they get home and then he was out. He rubs his temple then, sitting back down on his swivel chair, cursing. He forgot he wasn't alone and when he lifts his head to stare at Hanbin, the latter was doing everything to avoid his eyes. 

"Hey, Hanbin." He calls, which seems to startle the younger, turning his head to face him with questioning eyes. "Wanna eat out with me?" 

There was a momentary silence after that. Just the two of them having a stare-off, him waiting for answers, Hanbin parting and closing his lips as if it would magically say something. 

"Haha." Hanbin starts, more awkward than his laugh a while ago. "In your dreams, hyung." And he was out the door too in an instant. 

He feels sick. 


	4. Hanbin, and Chanwoo, and the H. KIM jersey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Hanbin is in the middle of an urban warfare

On a normal day, Hanbin doesn't usually wake up early. His normal days include those of which he doesn't go to work. Today was Sports Fest. Technically, there was no actual work. 

However, no matter how much he tried to reach for his alarm going off, it doesn't seem to get the idea that he's about to smash it on the wall once he does so. When he got ahold of his phone, it wasn't his alarm making the noise. It's _Jinhwan hyung_ calling, and he missed it once more.

There was a text to compensate for it though. In all caps.

_From: Jinhwan hyung_

_WHERE TF ARE YOU? YOU BETTER HAVE YOUR JERSEY ON ALREADY OR YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!_

He starts checking the time above the screen and his eyes widen at the realization that he is, in fact, late. 

And shit, he's never been late in his entire life. 

He heads to the bathroom to take a quick shower, probably the quickest one he ever had in his lifetime. He never even got to use his new Lush bath bomb his boyfriend bought for him last week. And he was saving to use it for this exact same day. 

There was a bark the minute he walked out in a towel. A tiny dog limping to greet him with its tail wagging in comfort. 

"Hey, I'm late. Don't play with me." The dog barks again, this time more cheery, as if it wasn't just dismissed by its not-so punctual owner. 

Hanbin opens his dresser to retrieve the faculty jersey they were advised to wear for the fest. He combs his hair simultaneously as he balances on the grey jersey shorts. Luckily, the shirt was a little bit loose. He checks for the time again and curses at another one missed call, this time from Yunhyeong. 

Once he was completely dressed, he gathers his sling bag, pours a handful of dog food on the pet bowl and leaves a note for his neighbor saying _'please give water to honey, i'll pay!'_

He takes a moment to give himself a once over in the mirror after slipping on his rubber shoes. Jersey shorts all tied up, yes. FACULTY on the front of his shirt, yes. He turns around and checks for the back. Jersey no. 21, yes. His surname: B. KIM, yes…

Hanbin squints his eyes, as if he was imagining things. Jersey no. 21...no? His surname: B. KIM...definitely not!

_Fuck._

He's wearing Bobby's jersey!

Before he could curse the universe for fucking his life up once more, his phone rings again and he bolts out of his house, determined to catch Bobby and force him out of his jersey. What kind of sick joke has he done before to deserve this? As far as he knows, he's a good son. He studied well in school. He never cheated (academically and romantically). He never failed a student and the only fault he could think for himself is his nagging insecurity. That's it. 

So, why? 

Another text from Jinhwan says he missed the opening ceremony and that they're all in the faculty room preparing for the games. He takes a deep breath before pushing the door and the room was so busy, his head started spinning. 

"Why were you late?" Yunhyeong snaps him out of his imaginary dizziness, pulling his arm to their desk. He noticed that he was wearing a couple sports band on his hair with Jinhwan's. That was cute. 

"I dozed off. Anyway, where's Bobby hyung?" He asks, turning his head to find the reason why he's currently suffering. He has to change clothes. Now. 

Yunhyeong narrows his eyes at him, unbelieving that he's looking for Bobby this early in the morning, and immediately at that. "He's even more late than you." 

He releases a frustrated sigh, which had Yunhyeong worrying and then the door opens. And there was Bobby, staring directly at him like they have the same problem. 

"Hanbin!" He calls, but before they could meet each other halfway, Jinhwan was pulling Bobby away, yelling at people to move faster when the bell rings. 

The scene was very dramatic. Like Bobby was a prisoner supposed to be taken away and he was his lover wanting to say his final goodbye. 

Except they're not lovers and they need to swap clothes. ASAP before it gets more awkward. 

///////

There was something boiling at the pit of his stomach the minute he sees his surname on the back of Bobby's shirt. H. KIM, no. 22. He also noticed that while the jersey he was wearing was a little loose, Bobby's was more fitted and that was an obvious takeaway that they don't have the same built. 

"Five minutes. Let's go before one of our students sees us." Bobby was holding his wrist as he ran towards the shower room inside the gymnasium. He was taken aback at first but he ran too, trying to match his pace to retrieve his hand away. 

Bobby locks the door after he was finished checking the stalls for any possible intruder. Hanbin feels weird about all of it. 

"What?" Bobby raises a brow

"This is your fault, you know?" Hanbin spits. 

"Give me three valid reasons why this is my fault." 

So, Hanbin lists not only three, but five reasons in his head. 

  1. Bobby was the first to get a jersey because it was piled up in his desk. That means, whatever was left will be his. 
  2. Bobby should've checked if it was his jersey first before going home. 
  3. Bobby shouldn't have invited him to dinner because he couldn't stop thinking about it and that's why he slept late that night (yes, he's also blaming him for not being able to wake up early)
  4. Bobby...is now taking off his jersey, completely shirtless in front of him and he was stuck staring at his new dog tag dangling from his chest. 



He stops listing then. Bobby walks closer to him. "None?" 

He takes a gulp and clears his throat. _What the fuck is he so buff for? He's a high school teacher for fuck's sake!_

"Take off my shirt." Bobby says. 

"What? You already have your shirt off!"

"I meant, the one you're wearing, you idiot." Hanbin glares at him and turns around, not wanting him to see his body. He takes off Bobby's jersey and throws it in his face, taking advantage of him not seeing anything as he snatches _his_ jersey from his hand and wears it at the speed of lightning. 

"You're so annoying, you know that right?" Bobby murmurs. He only removed the shirt in his face when he was sure Hanbin was already dressed. He thinks that's weird. 

"Not as annoying as you anyway. Bye, hyung!" He shuts the door loudly, running to where his students were preparing before the older could even follow him out. 

There was a halt in his steps when he realized his suffering was far from over. 

The jersey—the H. KIM one—reeks pungently of mythical masculinity. Something he could easily point out as Bobby's. 

///////

The universal truth is, the only sport Hanbin plays is table tennis. It didn't help the fact that Bobby beat him last year with the same game. So, he accepted the fact that he was fucked over. All bark and no bites. He's been riling up Bobby from time to time, telling him he's a basketball loser and he's ready to make him eat dust. 

Is Hanbin aware of the repercussions of his actions? Very much. Does he care? Not exactly. 

The only thing he knows is that it feels good to get Bobby angry. He watches him huff for the 7th time, eyes focused on his students playing opposite Hanbin's. Red vs. Blue.

Hanbin teaches the juniors, and Bobby teaches the seniors. Because his students are older, it is expected of them to win every game. And because Hanbin is twice as much of a jerk than he is, it is expected of him to piss him off. 

"Look, look." He points at one particular student, their section's star player who also attends Hanbin's classes. "That's Yang Hwitaek. He's going to beat all of your students' asses." 

Bobby cranes his neck to look, eyes turning into slits and he scoffs when he sees the player. "Well, look here." The older points at a much taller student, whose arms were a little bit muscular for his age. "That's my star player. I don't have much to say." Bobby shrugs, a smug smile painting his face. 

"He's all body and no game!" Hanbin exclaims. 

Bobby gasps scandalously, "What do you mean body? Are you checking out my student?" There was a mocking laugh after he was satisfied to see Hanbin seething. 

"Hanbin-ah, you're all red. Why don't you get yourself and hyung a drink, hmm?" The older cocks his head to the side and Hanbin stomps away. 

That didn't turn out well. How dare Bobby tell him what to do? He buys a drink for himself only and rests for a few minutes on the bleachers where the basketball games are out of sight. Yunhyeong and Dahyun were assigned to facilitate the lawn tennis competitions. He stares at them enviously, wishing he wasn't stuck with the _stuck up idiot,_ Bobby. 

He places his drink beside him and wipes his hand on his shorts when his phone rings. He answers it after reading the caller ID. 

"Hey." He says, a little too whiny and he clears his throat to fix it. "Hey, why'd you call?" 

_"Classes ended early. Want me to fetch you?"_

Yunhyeong notices him and waves, poking Dahyun's shoulder and pointing her where he was seated. He waves at the both of them. 

"It's Sports Fest." Hanbin answers blandly, tracing the number 21 on the bottom part of his jersey shorts and he almost couldn't stop himself from swearing out loud. He's still wearing Bobby's shorts!

_"Really? Can I watch? You gave me a visitor pass before, I'll use it."_

Hanbin takes a moment to respond, still stuck to the fact that they just exchanged shirts and not shorts. How are they supposed to swap now? 

"Yeah, sure." There was a cheerful chuckle on the other line and Hanbin finally catches it, he smiles too. 

_"Okay, I'm hanging up now. See you later!"_

"Okay."

 _"Love you, hyung!"_ He wasn't hoping to hear it but he replied anyway. 

"You too." And he ends the call with the same guilt he always feels when he answers. Why was it so hard to say it back? Way back, he was so sure. 

He met his boyfriend a month before he was settled to teach in a high school. Exactly a year ago, in a bookstore. The first meeting wasn't very romantic but he always thought it was cute. He was looking for a fresh set of pens and the 21-year old, college student set himself to find a reference book before the store closes. Just as he was about to head to the counter, there was a tap on his shoulder. 

"Excuse me, do you know what section I can find the reference materials?" Right then, Hanbin gave him a once over. Straight-cut jeans and brown sneakers, black shirt tucked in and a windbreaker jacket just draped on both of his shoulders. This boy lacked some sense in fashion but his looks made up for it. When he talked to him, he was sporting a dimple. Hanbin didn't believe he didn't know where the reference materials were...because he was already holding one. 

_Oxford Companion to Classical Literature._

He's hitting on him. 

He didn't pay much attention to him then. All he remembered was that he gave him a shrug and left, hiding a smile behind the collar of his coat. Coincidentally, they met again in the same bookstore. He didn't anticipate an interaction that much because he thought he was forgotten. But then, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time, he was asking for a number. 

And since Hanbin noted that he was dressed up dapper than before, he gave in. 

So there's that.

There was never a fuss about their age gap. It wasn't very high either so they don't look into it that much. Besides, his boyfriend was a little private. They stay lowkey most of the time. They were both very busy too. 

Hanbin figures the discomfort started a few months ago. It was Sunday and they just had their well-deserved break. They decided to stay in and watch a movie. Just as it was starting, his boyfriend told him he's going to get a drink for themselves first. He left his phone on the couch and just as the kitchen door closed, a text message flashed on screen. 

_From: K_

_wdym boyfriend? you're still fucking the same sugar daddy?_

In the beginning of their relationship, they had laid out some rules to abide by. One of them was to never invade each other's privacy. That includes passwords, emails, personal calls. Hanbin was fine with them, of course. He never doubted him anyway. 

_From: K_

_thought you said you'd breakup after the pocket money!_

_From: K_

_pay me back dude or my dad's gonna kill me_

Not even his own deduction skills could understand what any of those meant. When he came back with a pitcher of orange juice, two tall glasses on a tray and the same dimpled smile that gets him weak, the only thing he could conclude was that he's probably getting screwed over. 

And he's not even rich!

///////

As predicted by Bobby, the seniors won. Hanbin wasn't having it that much especially when the older kept on rubbing it in his face. His mood went from bad to worse and if he could stab this tall blob of goof in front of him, he would. 

They were all preparing now for the faculty basketball match in the faculty room. Freshening up and drying their sweats off. 

"Okay I have the sports bands ready here." Donghyuk announces, swinging a plastic bag filled with black and red bands which will determine which team one will be. 

"I hope I get to team with Bobby!" Yunhyeong shouts as he closes his eyes to get a band. Everybody else closes theirs too. 

"I hope you're not on my team though." That was Bobby's voice. If his eyes were open, he would've rolled them. He scoffs instead. 

"Any team is fine with me as long as Hanbin isn't there." Jinhwan says from beside him, he shoulders him enough to hurt. 

"Rude. I'm a great player!" He defends, taking his turn to get a band. 

"Says you, which isn't a reliable source." The older says back. 

"What does that even mean???"

Donghyuk instructs them to open their eyes now, wear the band and find their teammates. He follows him, staring at the red band in his hand. He slides it on his wrist, groaning the same time as Jinhwan when they found out they were on the same team. 

"We're gonna lose. I'm sure of it now." Jinhwan complains as he slides the band over his head and to his neck, turning it into a choker. Hanbin laughs at him. 

"Have faith, man. I used to be a benchwarmer for basketball back in high school." Hanbin wiggles his eyebrows, which seems to not help Jinhwan's worries at all. 

"There's a reason why you're a benchwarmer." 

The faculty room turns into a complete chaos when they start looking for their other teammates. Everyone halts when Jinhwan shrieks of excitement. "I got Bobby on my team, losers!" 

And when he looks at their direction, with Jinhwan wrapping his arms around Bobby's neck and the latter with a stupid smile on his face, wearing the red sports band on his hair and showing off his forehead, he mutters a sharp, silent curse. 

"Fuck, I wanted Bobby!" Yunhyeong exclaims, and that's when he figures the couple had a bet. That's why they were so competitive. 

"Nice dog tag, by the way." Jinhwan tells Bobby as their team gathers. 

"Yeah, it's a good luck charm." Bobby winks. His eyes directed at him for a split second and he winks again. 

Hanbin glares at him and crosses his arms. He stares at the silver dog tag long enough to catch the letter _J_ embossed on it. He makes a funny noise at the back of his throat and he immediately clears it, shaking his head. _What a fucking dog._

"We're teammates now." Bobby nudges him on their way back to the gymnasium. "So you can't injure me."

Hanbin shrugs. This brings back old high school memories. "Depends."

It has long been established that he's pretty much useless inside the court. So, as a resident benchwarmer, he sits and watch his co-workers play. It was overwhelming because their students are watching too. And he wonders what will happen to him if they make him play once one taps out. 

Bobby, like what he and the others claim, was quite good. _Quite_ because he'll never acknowledge that he's _really_ good out loud. He doesn't want to purposely bruise his ego. It's all he has. 

Hanbin knows nothing about this. He was always a casual watcher, and as much as possible, he avoids watching. Basketball has bad memories to come by. His brain associates it with the same scene from way back. Something he can't recall vividly himself but leaves an uncomfortable feeling sitting inside his chest. 

There was a short break called by Jinhwan and their team gathered beside him. "Hanbin, you need to get in." Bobby comes up to him. 

"What? Why?" The older points at Jinhwan who looks like someone suck the soul out of him. "That's not my fault!" He reasons. 

"Come on!"

 _"Hyung,_ you don't understand. I don't know how to play." 

"Just be a filler then. I'll do all the work."

"No, literally. I'll just stand there and do nothing. Wow, I'm getting anxious. Wow." He exaggerates a few breathings until Bobby was holding both of his shoulders. 

"Hanbin, listen." He looks like he was trying to come up with some motivational speech and Hanbin thinks, _wow, he's got nice pores too what the fuck._ "You know urban warfare?" 

Hanbin scoffs. "Of course I do, I'm not dumb." He rolls his eyes. 

"Yeah, so, pretend the game is the warfare. Our team is the combat. The ball is the area. You need to think of a strategy or an advantage to capitalize–I mean keep the possession of the urban area. All while simultaneously denying it to the enemy which is Yunhyeong's team. You hear me?"

God, he never thought this day would come. Bobby giving him lessons about urban warfare and associating it with basketball. He tries not to laugh at the situation. He's still about to shit himself anyway. 

"That's not how urban warfare works!"

"This is basketball!"

"Well, maybe come up with another analogy that actually makes sense!" 

"Are you guys done yet?" Jinhwan interrupts, pressing pressure on his chest. 

Bobby pulls him closer to whisper in his ears. "I'll give you my limited edition In Utero album signed by Kurt Cobain himself, just play." 

///////

In his defense, it wasn't the limited edition In Utero album that made him jump in the middle of the gymnasium and play side by side with Bobby as if they were best friends, partners in crime. It was the urge to prove himself to the same guy, who had to use urban warfare (he still can't believe it) just to make him play. He also didn't want to waste a team effort. 

And he did score. He laughed so hard when his teammates carried him after the game was done, sans Bobby of course. The guy was only looking at them with a shit-eating grin as he wiped his face with a towel, given by one of his female students. 

The laugh fades immediately when he spots his boyfriend walking cooly to his direction, hands in the pockets of his black slacks. All Hanbin could think was, _thank God, he's not wearing a uniform._

"The game's over? Aww, I didn't get to watch." Chanwoo pouts as he slings his arm over him. He knows full well his co-workers are watching them. 

"Okay, stinky teach, time to go change. Chop chop." Bobby seems to catch up, he claps his hands to signal their co-workers to leave them alone and he watches them head to the faculty room in confusion.

"Let's go?" Chanwoo pushes him lightly so he would start walking. 

"Ah, I'll change clothes first. Wait for me outside?" He looks up at him. Chanwoo nods and steals a peck on his cheek. 

"Mmkay. Happy anniversary."

When he was back in the faculty room, all eyes were on him. Except maybe one set of eyes from a particular person who knows. Donghyuk shoulders him jokingly. 

"You have a boyfriend?" Jinhwan breaks the silence, his tone of voice accusatory like he's been caught cheating. 

"Uh, yes, I do." He answers awkwardly. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" Yunhyeong blurts out. 

Hanbin narrows his eyes at him, like he was asking if he was entitled to tell co-workers slash friends what his relationship status was. 

"We shouldn't have teased you with Bobby!" 

_So those were intentional._

"Hey, it's your conscious choice that none of us asked for." Bobby rebuts, combing his sweat-slicked hair with his fingers. 

A text message tells him to get out faster and that's what he did. He bids a quick goodbye to his fellow teachers, promising a story next time because he's in a hurry. 

Sparing one glance at Bobby which lingered a little longer than what was expected. 


	5. Bobby, and Hanbin's problem, and Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Bobby feels heavy

Hanbin was sick.

Word in the faculty room was that Jinhwan was the one to send his sick day email because his arms were sore. 

When he first heard it, Bobby didn't find it in himself to care much. Everybody gets sick. It's inevitable. But then when lunch came and Jinhwan was looking at him accusingly, he felt a little guilty.

"We'll be visiting him after classes. Do you want to come?" Jinhwan asks, carrying two sets of plates and utensils to the dishwasher (they really bought one for the office). Bobby narrows his eyes. He was about to shake his head in disapproval but Jinhwan says another thing. "It's your fault, you know? Why he's  _ injured." _

"Wait—he's injured?" He catches Jinhwan's arm to stop him from walking. 

The little guy nods, eyebrows going up and down and then pouting. "You pushed him too much."

Bobby refrains himself from scoffing, because first of all, he did  _ not _ push him. They bumped into each other and he didn't even fall down. If anything, his muscles are sore too 'cause he was practically carrying the game on his back but anyway, this wasn't about him. And second, what kind of injury does Hanbin even have? He seemed fine at the end of the game. He's sure Jinhwan's just trying to guilt-trip him. 

"So, you really have to visit him. Come with us." 

"I can't." He says, once and for all. He's got a heck lot of school works to do to make up for the missed out ones because of the Sports Fest. "I'm sure he'll be fine without me."

Jinhwan frowns at him, wiping his hands on the clean towel hanging in one of the racks Donghyuk installed months ago. Seriously, they're getting too comfortable in the office. Too comfortable it's unbelievable. "Don't say that. Hanbin may already have a boyfriend but he still likes you." Bobby's forehead creases as he makes a squawking sound from the back of his throat. "As a friend." Jinhwan adds. 

"I have somewhere else to be." He reasons. Somehow, he hopes Jinhwan would just drop it. He doesn't want to go to Hanbin's house. He doesn't want to visit him. It just doesn't sit right with his spirit. 

"Promise me you'll go there after. I already told Hanbin we're all coming. He'll be upset if you're not there." 

Bobby snorts.  _ Highly unlikely. _ But he nods anyway, giving up. A little visit wouldn't hurt anyone. Now he wonders what kind of fruit Hanbin would like. "Yeah, whatever." 

And that's how he found himself digging yet another grave to dive in. Agreeing to Jinhwan's whims was a mistake. 

  
  


/////

  
  


Bobby was busy segregating his students graded papers on his table, clearing his desk of all things unnecessary. There were some instances where he would look up and watch his co-workers prepare to leave, eavesdropping about what to buy first before going to Hanbin's house. The sun still hasn't set outside and Bobby would rather spend the rest of the afternoon holed up in his room reading whatever smartass shit his students have to say about  _ The Great Gatsby  _ than go and ask Hanbin how he's doing. 

He's not exactly heartless, no. He's guilty. Jinhwan made sure of that. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he's also worried. However, and yes there's always one when it comes to Hanbin, he thinks it's not actually  _ needed _ of him to be there. He's sure, and based from experience, that Hanbin wouldn't appreciate it. It's just his character. 

Hanbin hates him. That's an established fact. And would you let someone you hate inside your house? Absolutely not. Bobby lets out an exasperated sigh, which Donghyuk catches on. The younger walks towards his direction and leans on the compartment near his desk. "You coming, Bobby hyung?" 

"Nope." He shakes his head, smiling lightly. "Don't tell Jinhwan though. I'm heading straight home." Donghyuk nods with a pout. "I'm gonna tell Junhoe you're out." He adds.

"Oh, no need." The younger grins at him. "He's coming with me." 

Before he could question it, the door reveals Junhoe who was wearing casual clothes, hair still wet. He forgot he gets out early during Fridays. He waves in his direction and goes on to give his boyfriend a hug. Bobby averts his eyes. 

So, going  _ with _ them is really out of the question now. There's no way he'll come with Junhoe and Donghyuk there, where Hanbin could see how he'll act around his co-worker and ex. Not that he knows he'll enjoy it but maybe he will. People like to revel on others suffering anyway. Hanbin wasn't an exception. Once he was done segregating, he puts them into different envelopes and carries them in his arms. 

The goodbyes were a little bit awkward since he's the only one not coming (Jinhwan frowned really hard, by the way. He almost gave in.) but he told them he really had to finish something. They couldn't argue at that.

  
  
  


Ever since he lived in the apartment with Junhoe (and now with Donghyuk too), he stopped using the car he bought after saving up 2 years of his salary. It was just sitting in the garage for convenient use, like a surprise trip to 7/11 for when he craved ice cream at midnight. Junhoe didn't like the smell of cars. He did get rid of his freshener once but that only made the younger throw up more. That was one of the reasons. 

When he came back to Seoul, Junhoe was the first person to welcome him. A friend of a friend. Bobby took notice of the tiny kimchi stain on the sleeve of his shirt. On a normal day, he would've found it disgusting. But Junhoe smiled at him and asked him if he was  _ Kim Jiwon Bobby _ with a big smile on his face and he wouldn't find that appalling in any other day at all. He found it adorable. Too much that he fell in love.

And maybe he did sacrifice so many things just to be with him. There was a house he was eyeing to buy in Itaewon. He checked in there for months before deciding it would be better to live with Junhoe instead in the apartment. The house wasn't available now. Currently, he had tried looking for a decent apartment complex he could live in for when he finally moves out. He couldn't yet. Junhoe was pulling him back. It has always been like that. He's too hung up on him to see that his decisions wouldn't affect Junhoe anymore. It's him pulling himself back. He was stupid. Still is.

Anyway, he already became comfortable with taking the bus that he decided to just roll with it. Slumping on his computer chair with the sprawled papers yet to be graded on his desk as soon as he was home, Bobby was determined to finish them, too tired to even procrastinate. 

He cracks his fingers and stretches his legs on the edge of his desk, one hand on a Heineken can and the other holding his student's essay. This was like a routine for him now. Unlike Jinhwan and Yunhyeong, he's not into parties that much. He always preferred some alone time. Said alone time was surfing channels and ordering pizza as he tries not to stain some important documents, or the book he's currently reading for teaching purposes—he's more of a watcher, really.

Very rarely does he find his job enjoyable. Like right now, snorting at  _ Jang Yeonghwa _ 's commentary about Nick Carraway being absolutely—and he means without a doubt—gay and secretly in love with Gatsby. That was just like him before. He wrote the same context after rereading the book twice. One time for a book review. But he knows this student was just spewing bullshit. He didn't even back it up with evidence, or why he thinks Nick is in love with Gatsby. At least Bobby had one. 

_ Not all people are willing to take care of their friends. Not unless they feel a deeper sense of regard towards them.  _

But he thinks his brain was just full of malice that time. Or maybe because he's got no friend to take care of him then. He only had Junhoe, who was in love with him. The guy was always his basis.

It was a quarter before 6 in the evening when Jinhwan texted him that they just got home. Adding the words  _ Hanbin asked about you _ that he definitely didn't need and didn't believe. But when he checks the time again, he catches a glimpse of the sunset outside and he realizes that he really has nothing to lose. 

He starts clearing his desk, standing up to change clothes. He keeps on repeating the phrase  _ better to give than to receive _ until he was sick of it. He's going to pay Hanbin a visit before it gets too dark outside. 

  
  


///////

  
  


Hanbin's house was actually far from the city. A cozy two-storey red-bricked house with a private lawn and a freshly-painted white picket fence. The neighboring houses weren't situated far from each other and the village looks like it was set in a common American movie. It was so different from the apartments he sees in his place. It looks beautiful. 

When he got off the bus, he had to walk a few miles to actually get there, passing by a few similar houses but with different colored walls. Jinhwan sent him a picture of the specific one so he'll know. He takes one look from behind him—regretting it after 'cause he seemed suspicious—before pushing the fence in the middle, making a creaky sound as it automatically closes. The time on his watch says it was already 7 in the evening and that explains the solar-powered lamp-posts turning on. Taking a deep breath, he removes his hand in his pocket and presses the doorbell. It doesn't make a sound outside but he hears a faint one on the inside and then the door rattles open. 

Being face to face with Hanbin, whom he now believes was actually ill, made him realize that he really couldn't back out now. The younger raises an eyebrow at him, eyes droopy from sleep and they go down to the direction of the plastic bag he was holding with already sliced fruits he stacked in his fridge a few days ago. He had no time to stop over by the market on his way. 

"Visiting hours are closed." Hanbin's voice was hoarse when he spoke. He gives him a once over and he's definitely not injured. He was about to reply but he hears a bark coming from inside the house, and then there was a small dog running towards him with an obvious limp, right leg broken and tongue out. Bobby looks down at it. 

"Honey." He looks up again at Hanbin, confused. 

"What—me?"

"Not you, the dog." Hanbin snorts, rolling his eyes. The dog barks again, walking closer to him with its tail wagging, and then he was biting at his pants as if pulling him inside. When Bobby makes no move, the dog tilts its head. 

"Ah, she wants you to come in." Hanbin says, avoiding his eyes when they meet. 

"What about you? Do you want me to come in?" Bobby asks tentatively, fiddling with the hem of his plain white shirt. It's the first time he deliberately wore a tee out. He's always in button-ups. 

Hanbin scoffs. He pulls the door wider and nods inside. "I'm not  _ that _ rude." Then he turns his back on him. 

Bobby smiles as he removes his shoes. The dog was jumping the minute he set foot inside. He scrunches his nose at it. Bobby was not a dog person, not a cat person either. To be perfectly honest, he wasn't a pet person. He had passed the need to have one ever since his beloved dog died when he was 9 years old. He reached a slump that time and never possibly recovered. Having a non-human companion means being more compassionate, and Bobby feels like he'll be overwhelmed if he gets to take care of another living being other than himself. 

Hanbin's dog is a year-old mini pinscher. Who was also a little bit stinky. But he doesn't say that out loud because of an unwritten rule that you can insult the owner of the house, but not their pets. 

"She hasn't had a bath in three days because I was busy so sorry if she smells." Hanbin deadpans, taking the plastic bag from his hand and looking inside before putting the contents in his fridge in the kitchen. 

Bobby laughs awkwardly, not sure how to act in an  _ uncharted _ territory. "No, it's fine. She's cute." 

_ Honey _ barks at him in agreement, and he scrunches his nose once more. "You don't like dogs?" The owner of the house asks, sitting on the barstool by the island counter. 

He stares at him with wide comical eyes, hand flying on the back of his neck, scratching it in embarrassment. "Not fond, but I swear she's cute." 

Hanbin cracks a small weak smile, picking the limp dog up and letting it sit on his lap. "I think she's kinda ugly." He pushes the glass of water in his direction and he almost chokes on his own. "Right? Honey?" Hanbin raises the dog's chin and talks to her with a pout. "Who's my ugly dog? You are!" He then giggles as he rubs her belly. 

"It's an inside joke. Only I get to call her that." Hanbin explains. "She got run over by a motorcycle and I took her in." He adds and Bobby nods. "Anyway, what are you doing here?" 

"Visiting? Duh?" Bobby tells him, taking a sip on the glass of water. 

"Yeah well, the others already visited a while ago so why are you late?" Hanbin doesn't look at him when he talks,  _ baby-talking _ with Honey as the dog smugly lets him, satisfied that she's being given attention. 

"Had papers to grade. You know how it is—wait, hey, Hanbin, are you alright?" He stands up from his seat when Hanbin starts crying, the dog on his lap whimpering too, rolling over to face him. 

"I think I'm high from meds." Hanbin sobs once more, cheeks flushed. He rests his forehead on the table and Bobby knows he's trying to stop his tears. He hesitantly places his hand on his back, rubbing it up and down. 

"Hyung." There was another dramatic cry from the table, Bobby taps his back to let him know he's there. 

"Hmm? What's wrong?" He asks, still uncertain. There was no  _ How to Comfort Your Enemy: A Guidebook For Dummies _ that he had come across and right now he was clueless. He never expected any of this to happen. 

Honey was staring at him now, tilting her head again in confusion this time. She barks, Bobby raises both of his hands, as though telling her he has nothing to do with Hanbin's crying. 

Hanbin lifts his head, tears already drying on his cheeks. He wipes them for good measure and then straightens his posture. "Sorry you had to see that." He makes a sound that seems like a half laugh half snort and it was so awkward Bobby visibly cringes. 

"Mind telling me what that was about?" He removes his hand on his back, putting it immediately inside his pocket as if he was burned. He almost sees Hanbin shake his head so he beats him to it by saying, "Or not. Honestly, it's fine. No need to tell, I'm just here to check you out—I mean, check on you." 

"Freudian slip." Hanbin murmurs, but Bobby catches it and he scoffs. 

"Don't go there." And then Hanbin was smiling at him. It's a comfortable one this time. After that was a sigh. He prepares himself to lend an ear because he knows Hanbin was about to tell him why.

"We had a break." 

Hanbin lets go of Honey and she runs to her cage, licking Bobby's foot before she leaves. Hanbin says it was her way of telling him she'll come back. Bobby sits on the chair in front of him. "Chanwoo, my boyfriend, and I. We had a break." 

"You broke up?" Bobby asks.

Hanbin shakes his head. "Nooooo." He groans. "We're still together. We're just having a little time apart." Bobby snorts at that and the younger furrows his brows. 

"So, what was the reason?" He tries his luck. Hanbin seems to be in a good mood, seeing that he's not being a jerk to him. If he's willing to tell him why, it's not like Bobby would use it against him. He never does that. Not on purpose.

"You know student loans?" Bobby nods. He used to do that back in college when things are rough and he's too shy to ask his parents for money. "I found out he was using me to pay for his." 

"What?" Now he has his brows furrowed. "Hanbin, that's fucked up."

Hanbin groans again. "As if I don't already know that." He hits his forehead on the table. Bobby just watches him, still thinking about what Hanbin just told him. "He used to tell me he was buying gaming accessories and I gave him money but turns out he was in deep shit with some loan sharks and he didn't tell me!" He hears a grumble and another bang on the table. 

"God, I'm basically his sugar daddy! Ugh, fuck you Jung Chanwoo." Bobby stares as the man in front of him raises his head and lets his left cheek rest on the table instead, squished as he talks about how stupid he  felt feels. 

"How–how much does he owe them?" Bobby copies him and rests his right cheek on the table too, watching him through thick fringe and wondering why someone would do such a thing to Kim Hanbin. 

"About half a million." 

"DOLLARS?" He was thankful he didn't accidentally snap his neck when he lifted his head in shock. 

"Shut up." Hanbin glares at him, cheek still flat on the table. "Won, of course. I'm not that stupid."

Bobby calms at that. "Judging from your expression, you really paid for it in full, yes?"

Hanbin nods, grunting as if he was in immense pain. "You think I'm stupid, don't you?" 

And Bobby wouldn't lie. He does think it was a stupid move. The guy's been leeching off his money and then he condones it by paying it all. But Bobby thinks it wasn't that unreasonable either. If Junhoe was in the same situation (welp, here he goes again), he would do the same. There's no doubt about it. So instead of lecturing him, he says, "Why didn't you break up with him for good?" 

Hanbin slowly raises his head at that, facing him again as he props his chin with both of his hands. "I don't know. I really don't know. I'm so confused, hyung." 

"You still love him." Bobby shrugs, it happens. 

But he was surprised when Hanbin shrugs too. "I don't know about that too." As if on cue, the rain starts falling, droplets too loud to be heard on the roof and the both of them look over to the window to confirm if it was really raining. 

Bobby checks his wrist watch and curses when he realizes it was already 8:30. He turns his head to Hanbin only to see the younger staring at him likewise.

"You can't sleep here." Hanbin says. Bobby almost squawks at that. He's not even planning to!

"Of course not." He says defensively. "But uh, can I borrow an umbrella? I didn't bring one." He fiddles with the hem of his shirt again. 

"I don't own one." Hanbin reveals, and he starts cursing him too, in his head. Who the fuck won't own an umbrella? It's basically a necessity! "Didn't you bring your car?" 

"Wait, how'd you know I have a car?" Bobby tilts his head, suspicious. 

Hanbin averts his eyes. "Saw you at 7/11 once. Anyway, you should go now. Visiting hours are really, and I mean truly, closed." 

Before he could protest, Hanbin was pushing his back to make him walk, out of the kitchen and out of the door. Honey was already fast asleep on her mini dog bed so he couldn't ask for her help. He was about to tell Hanbin to let him stay for a while until the rain stops but the door was slammed in his face, his mouth hanging open and he closes it immediately after a sigh. 

He rests his back on the door, sitting on Hanbin's porch as the rain blocks out his thoughts. It was dark outside and he still had to walk miles to get to the station. He sighs again.  _ Hanbin, you motherfucker. _ Now, he really wishes he could glare. 

He dials Junhoe's number for help. They should be home by now. He could fetch him, right? It's not like he wouldn't do it...right? Bobby sighs as he plays with the lace of his sneakers, phone in his ear. The line rings but there was no answer. And after that, it leads him to voicemail. 

_ "Hey, it's Junhoe. I may be busy or reaaaaally busy so I can't come to the phone right now, sorry!" _

"Junhoe, it's Bobby. I mean, of course you know it's me. I'm stuck here outside Hanbin's house. You've been here a while ago, right? It's raining. Come fetch me. I'll wait." 

He sends a few texts after, just to be sure. Shivering at the cold, leaning his head on the door. The rain gets even more heavy and so does his sighs. He tries calling Junhoe again but this time the call was deliberately ended. 

He was only convincing himself then.  _ His fingers must've slipped.  _

_ To: Junhoe _

_ I need to go home.  _

He closes his eyes, banging his head lightly on the wood behind him. After listening to Hanbin's problems, and trying to be a friend, he gets kicked out of his house and then his ex boyfriend ignores his calls. What fucking luck. 

"Haven't felt this pathetic since I was bullied for having Bobby as my name." He snorts, rubbing the metal plate hanging from his neck that Junhoe gave him. 

Bobby wasn't sure if it was a change of heart or he was just being pitied, but the door opened and he luckily had a good enough balance to not fall down completely, looking up at Hanbin who was wearing pyjamas and holding a long pillow in his arm. "Just until the rain stops, please?" He says, doing his best to look even more pitiful as he sets his pride aside. Why was he always the first one to do it anyway? 

"Whatever, hyung." But he pulls it wider, and he hears a bark of delight. 

He sees that the couch was already set to be more comfy, complete with pillows and blankets and Hanbin looks away when he tells him, "Thank you." He sees his neck going red but he doesn't point it out directly, nor indirectly. 

"You can stay the night." Hanbin says, already heading upstairs. "But don't tell anyone." Then his bedroom door closes. 

Honey was already getting cozy on the edge of the couch. He flops down beside her, careful not to squeeze her in. She smells pleasant now. Hanbin must've given her a bath. 

All the lights are off and he could only hear the pouring of the rain outside. He was getting ready to sleep but then his phone on the coffee table brightened up. 

_ From: Junhoe _

_ I can't go out too, hyung. There's a hotel nearby though, 15 minutes away. Sorry :((( _

And after that not only the rain was heavy, not only his sighs, his heart was just as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please sign petitions (if you haven't) and donate (if you can). Here's something that might help: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/


	6. Hanbin, and a new face, and his hate-list

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been 89 years...I have nothing interesting to add to the table *punches the wall*

_Why do I hate Bobby?_

Hanbin couldn't sleep. He tried a few minutes ago but his usual attempt at trying to doze off wasn't working. It's been two hours now. 

The fact that Bobby's downstairs—someone he _dislikes_ very much so for uncertain reasons—sleeping with his dog bothers him to the point that he feels uneasy. He couldn't believe he cried in front of him, dramatically too. To add to that, he also opened up… and he'd never done that before, even to his closest friends. What the fuck was so special about Bobby that he had to see him in his weakest? He's getting anxious thinking about him using it as some leverage in the future. 

So, he tries to answer his first question, hoping that he'll fall asleep as he lists them on. 

_Why do I hate Bobby?_

For one, Hanbin thinks he's annoyingly good at everything. He learns very quickly, and it's easy for him to be an expert at something if he puts his mind to it, unlike some who remains average. What more is that Bobby doesn't primarily do it to boast, he does things for his own satisfaction and he's willing to teach his ways instead of gatekeeping. Why is that a bad thing? Well, Hanbin hates it when someone is better than him. He doesn't try to reason with it anymore. It's either he's the best or everyone else is just not trying hard enough. 

Bobby is _too_ neat. You'll never catch him wearing a creased button down shirt. You'll never see his hair without pomade with loose strands falling to his forehead, except maybe that one moment during Sports Fest but only for a short period of time. He has separate portfolios for his lesson plans and the papers from his students. His desk is always spotless. He eats with a napkin on his lap, and he rarely drinks, if he does it's always moderate. Why are those bad things? Well, Hanbin wants him to let loose a little, make mistakes, stop being so… perfect. 

Bobby is too selfless. The amount of times he's seen him put up with his ex and his ex's boyfriend. The fact that he never gives a low grade because he thinks all students put at least an effort to pass it on time and put their input. The way he rarely refuses when someone asks him a favor. In hindsight, Hanbin thinks he's pretty stupid. He needs to be selfish for once. 

He yawns after the third thought, trying to think of more reasons but his brain was already shutting down. Why does he hate Bobby?

_He looks good in button downs… and I hated the way he comforted me when I cried. He's the worst._

///////

Honey was barking so early in the morning. Hanbin never really forgave himself after teaching the handicapped dog how to climb the stairs, or when he installed a dog door at the bottom of his bedroom's door. The vet said it'll be helpful for her to do what normal dogs do, so Hanbin did the most instead of just walking her every afternoon. And whenever he's being awoken inconveniently, he regrets it. 

"What is wrong with you?" He murmurs, letting the hyperactive dog pull his blankets away. Hanbin searches for his shirt, putting it on lazily and then rubbing his face with his palm as she barks again. 

"What?"

Another bark. When he hears footsteps from downstairs, that's when he realized what the _problem_ was. "Holy shit." 

He scrambles to the bathroom to wash his face, brushing his teeth too. How could he forget he has a visitor? It's almost noon. He moves like a log during weekends. 

Bobby was sitting on the couch, posture too straight as if he's in a meeting. He's wearing yesterday's clothes, of course, but his hair's already combed. He rolls his eyes then, but averts his gaze when he turns his head to look at him.

Honey was running towards Bobby, past him, and then jumping to put her paws on his lap. Bobby laughs and picks her up.

"Did you catch a cold?" Hanbin starts, not walking any closer, only leaning on the staircase. 

"No, I don't get sick easily." The older says, focused on his dog. Hanbin adds that to the list of things why he hates him, i.e. his immune system being topnotch. 

"Have you eaten breakfast, hyung?" 

"Not yet. Don't worry, I'm about to go home. I was waiting for you to wake up. I don't want to be rude by leaving urgently."

"Ah." Hanbin says, already walking towards the kitchen to prepare his own food, and his dog's.

"I fed Honey though, hope you don't mind." 

So, only his food. Hanbin nods. 

"Donghyuk and Junhoe insisted they'll fetch me, they'll be here soon. Hope you don't mind, again."

Hanbin sighs. "Hyung, I really don't care."

Bobby narrows his eyes at him. "I was just saying." 

The doorbell rings and Bobby practically runs to the door. Hanbin scrunches his face, annoyed. The same people who refused to fetch him last night insisted on fetching him today. What a joke. 

"Hanbin." Bobby calls from the door. Hanbin fixes his face before greeting them… except it wasn't Donghyuk and Junhoe.

It was Chanwoo outside his doorstep, with his puppy eyes and a box which Hanbin deems to be for consolation. 

"Hyung!" He didn't even wait for him to actually invite him in, he just straight up walks towards him. Honey was barking. Bobby was conflicted. Chanwoo was hugging him. 

Hanbin thinks it's too _fucking_ early for this.

"Hyung, they said you paid for half of my loan. I love you so much." He peppers his face with kisses and he catches Bobby looking away before he closes his eyes, flinching. He must've thought this was so unnecessary.

"Chanwoo, I told you we can't see each other yet." 

"Hyung, I promise you you don't have to pay for the other half. I'm gonna get a part time job, believe me this time." But Chanwoo probably caught on why he's uneasy. The younger traces his line of vision with his eyes, stopping at Bobby who was stuck holding the door knob, ears red and visibly fazed. It's like he's waiting for the right moment to excuse himself. 

"Oh." Chanwoo changes his stance, one hand in his pocket. He makes Hanbin hold the box, which wasn't even heavy to begin with, and greets Bobby nonchalantly, giving him a noncommittal wave. "Hey, man." 

Hanbin elbows him then, furrowing his brows. "He's older than you."

"Hey, hyung." Chanwoo corrects. 

"Hey." Bobby greets back, smiling with his eyes but without teeth. Hanbin just wants all of them to leave him alone, even just for a good minute. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"Chanwoo…"

"What? I'm just asking, hyung. It's a little too early for visitors, isn't it?"

"Oh, I was here because—"

"It's none of your business, Chanwoo."

"Huh? As far as I remember, I'm still your boyfriend and we're still together so it's definitely my business to ask why a guy like him is visiting you early in the morning." Hanbin can't take this. Not in front of Bobby. Not again.

"Uh, I should probably go." Bobby says, looking everywhere but them. 

He couldn't even stop him when he started walking out of the house, closing the door. He'll probably wait for Donghyuk and Junhoe outside. Hanbin sighs. 

"I don't like him." His boyfriend blurts out. Hanbin glares at him. 

"After we eat, you're leaving. Don't come here without texting me, that's rude." He turns his back on him and walks to the kitchen and Chanwoo follows him. 

"I wanted to surprise you." 

"I fucking hate surprises. Don't do that again." 

He's having a hard time trying to think of excuses he'll say to Bobby once they see each other again. 

Why he has to think of excuses, he doesn't know. He just feels like he has to. 

///////

If Hanbin was asked why he decided to teach, his answer would just be simple, and precise. 

He wanted to teach because he came from a family of professors and he wanted to just go with the flow. He wasn't forced to do it. His parents were really considerate, but Hanbin figured he'd make them happier if he doesn't take a turn. 

A year ago, before the new school year started, all the members of the faculty were obliged to go on a seminar, just to talk about past and current experiences, welcome newbies, and an overdue farewell party to those who will change schools or try different courses. 

The question was asked then. 

Hanbin remembers taking notes. What struck him the most was what Bobby said. He's staring at his words that he carelessly jot down on a summer planner. _Mom wanted practicality. I wanted to make Mom happy. I became happy too._ He closes it immediately and hides it in his drawers. 

In that case, they're very much alike. Hanbin wonders if Bobby had ever done things to please people. Aside from his mother… aside from Junhoe. He wonders if it comes just as natural for him as him or if it's something forced and out of obligation, either he'll enjoy it all the way or he'll suffer. 

He bumps into him in the hallways. High school teachers have a whole lot of moments where they get to relive being in high school once again. He's in a plaid button down this time, and a plain necktie, holding his navy blue portfolio, the one for his students.

"You don't have to explain… or apologize." The older starts. 

Hanbin huffs, crossing his arms and tilting his head. "Who says I was going to?" 

"Ah." Bobby's lip tightens. "See you at the faculty then." He walks past him. 

Hanbin wonders if by apologize, was he talking about last weekend? Or was he talking about bumping into him. Whichever it was, he hates himself or overanalyzing every interaction he does with him. 

The faculty was silent during lunch. Hanbin was busy rewriting the solution for the physics test he distributed a while ago. Hanbin loved maths, it was logical and it follows a strict process. He really has no time with all the bullshit literature has to offer, and he never really liked English as a subject. 

"I got some good news and bad news." Yunhyeong barges in with his boyfriend, holding a bottled water and walking straight to his desk. Hanbin lifts his head and waits for him to tell. 

"Actually it's just one news. Good or bad depends on you as a person." He beams. Hanbin rolls his eyes. 

"Just say it already. I'm on borrowed time." He's rewriting solutions while eating packed lunch. He's particularly antsy because he hates cold meals.

"So October's coming up… you guys know what that means, right?" There's another set of groans when Yunhyeong said he wants them to guess. 

"He's definitely talking about the annual Field trip." Bobby speaks, leaning on the countertop as he dries his hands. 

"You're very right, Mr. Kim. It's planned early this time. Yay or nay?" 

Hanbin grunts. He absolutely hates it. 

"One nay for Kim Hanbin." Yunhyeong held out his pinky, counting reactions from his fellow faculty members. 

"High schoolers on a field trip? I mean, unless I'm the one tripping then it would be fine but I have to act as a chaperone." He explains. 

"Yup, he wants to trip." Jinhwan comments. "Yay for me. The only time I love early mornings is during field trips. I'm a very specific person."

"Nay for me. I hate bus rides." Dahyun says while brushing her teeth. Hanbin forgets that she's part of their faculty sometimes. She's always with the girls in the other faculty. Not that he has a problem with her, they're just not very close because they rarely see each other. 

"Aww, two nays. Come on yay teams. Since when did we lose? I'm yay too, by the way." He winks at Jinhwan. 

"Nay for me. It's tiring." Donghyuk votes. 

"Right? Oh my god, don't get me started on the student files." Hanbin agrees. They reminisce about last year where one of his students forgot their ticket and Hanbin has to give up his and then pay for another one. It's a good thing he brought extra money. 

"Wait, I'm changing my vote. It's yay for me." Dahyun looks up from her phone with a bright smile. Both Donghyuk and Hanbin grunt.

"Okay, Bobby Kim. My man, my bro. Are you letting us win or are you one with the losers?" Yunhyeong side eyes them and Hanbin rolls his eyes. 

What are they doing voting for something trivial which benefits no one anyway? It's like a lunch ice breaker but Hanbin has so many things to do. 

"You're acting like you don't know me, Song Yunhyeong. I've been yay-ing for this for three consecutive years." 

They all act like Bobby was the Pope and Hanbin snorts at that. It's not like nay-ing would magically cancel the trip. He supposes it's a nice way to unwind. 

"Guys, I also have some news." Dahyun stands up from her seat. Everyone only notices how her desk was clean and empty. 

"Girl, we know." Jinhwan says.

"What do you know?"

"You're finally moving faculties." 

"What? Really?" Donghyuk's eyes widen. 

"Duh, as if you guys didn't see it coming. It's just the next door. And most of them are art teachers anyway so it makes sense." 

"Aww, we'll miss you." Jinhwan pouts.

"Doubt it. But thanks." Dahyun sends him a wink.

"Are you getting a replacement?" Hanbin asks. Dahyun stares at the watch on her wrist and nod. 

"Yup. He's moving here in a minute."

"We're gonna be an all-boys faculty now this feels like the old age." Bobby laughs at Yunhyeong's input. 

There's a knock on the door and everyone turns their heads to face it. Dahyun was the one to open it.

"Uh, hi. I'm the new part-timer?"

  
  
  


His name was Jung Jaewon, part-time music teacher. He's the same age as Jinhwan. Hanbin discovers they went to the same high school together but he doesn't remember. 

Long hair, bright smile, and he wears his sleeves down his wrist because he's covering up his tattoos. He only has a music sheet on his desk and nothing else. They were all interviewing him. 

"Can you sing?" Jinhwan asks. 

"A little." Jaewon chuckles. 

"Do you plan to go full time?" Bobby asks. 

"I'm not sure yet." Jaewon answers.

"What year do you teach?" Hanbin asks.

"All years." 

"Damn, that's tough." Donghyuk says.

"It's just for an hour anyway, it's fine." Jaewon smiles.

"So, let's say there's a field trip happening next month." Everybody groans in detest when Yunhyeong speaks. "Is it a yay for you or nay?" 

"I love fieldtrips." The yay team rejoices. "I don't think I'm obliged to go though."

"That is _such_ a privilege." Hanbin utters, shaking his head. 

The bell rings and they all scramble to get their things. Hanbin mentally slaps himself for getting carried away. Not only did he leave his solutions unfinished, he also only ate a quarter of his food.

It's not a common occurrence for their high school to hire part-timer in the middle of the semester. That's why all of them are intrigued. Jaewon comes up to him when he was the only one left alone, still fixing his desk. 

"I hope you don't find me creepy but I actually know you because I worked in Jung Chanwoo's university before. But we did go to the same high school." His lips form a shy smile, the tips of his ears reddening. 

Hanbin squints, and he can feel his own cheeks burn. Why the _fuck_ would this guy tell him this? He could only nod, embarrassed. _Is this even allowed?_

Right on time, Bobby's head was peeking by the door. "Hanbin." 

It's only one call of his name, but Hanbin felt more relieved than ever. He gathers his things and goes out of the door, with Bobby. Not even sparing a single glance at the part-timer.

"Thanks for doing that." Hanbin mumbles. They're in the hallways again, off to their respective buildings. 

"Doing what?" 

"Saving me?"

"From what?" 

Hanbin rolls his eyes. Why does Bobby have to be so fucking difficult? "Forget it."

"I called you because I was going to give you the limited edition In Utero album I promised last Sports Fest." Bobby explains, scratching the back of his neck. 

"Forget that too. You can keep it." Hanbin starts walking faster until he was far, far away from him. He feels like a jerk but it has to be done. Else they would start talking about what happened last weekend and he doesn't want that. Any of it. He's going to pretend it never happened and he hopes Bobby does too.

///////

Hanbin is sure that as days go by, things will be added to his list of things why he hates Bobby. Everything he does, he takes it to a personal level. Sometimes, even the sound of his breathing annoys him. 

That afternoon, he overhears Yunhyeong and Jinhwan arguing about what to wear to a party, and Hanbin—because he has nothing else to do—decided to mess with the couple and possibly share his input. 

"Does casual wear include slacks or is it only exclusive for pants and cargo shorts? Hanbin what do you think?" Jinhwan asks.

"If it's casual, shirt and pants are the best way to go." He answers 

"See?" Jinhwan gives his boyfriend a look that says I told you so. "Why are you making a fuss anyway. It's a housewarming party."

Hanbin nods in understanding. _Yeah, shirt and pants._

"But slacks and a button down rolled up to the sleeves are cute and fashionable. It gives off boujee vibes." Yunhyeong contests. 

Jinhwan rolls his eyes. "Babe, that borders on semi-formal. You wear slacks at a business meeting, not when your friend gets a new house." Yunhyeong raises both of his hands in surrender. 

"Fine. It's just Bobby anyway." He snickers.

Hanbin stops at that. "What's with Bobby?"

The couple looks at him strangely. "Uh… he's having a housewarming party this weekend? Didn't he say he's moving out of the house he shares with Donghyuk and his college boyfriend?" 

And Hanbin wants to say no, he didn't say that. No, Bobby definitely wouldn't tell him that. He didn't even invite him to his housewarming party. 

"Ah. Must've slipped my mind." He says as an excuse, shrugging and he hopes the couple wouldn't catch on that he wouldn't know about it had they not accidentally told him about it. 

He wonders if Bobby's planning to invite him. 

He's not really counting on it.

Anyway, that's one more reason in his list.

  
  
  



	7. Bobby, and the invitation, and the uninvited

As a high school student, Bobby was not like any other boys. He did not like reading drunkard quotes from Hemingway and he absolutely detested Wilde's writing style.

Bobby never really liked reading in general. But since he was conditioned to be this Asian child genius everyone raved about, he had learned to like it in time. Until it turned into a hobby. Until it turned into a job. 

He considers himself lucky most of the time. It was very easy for him to adjust from one thing to another. Migrating from country to country, switching courses to teach, learning electives, and now… moving houses. While he did try to think it was a good— probably the best idea he had come up with for the past months, there was still another thought in his mind that says _What about Junhoe?_

A rhetorical one which leads to an understanding that Junhoe will not care as much as he does… and then enlightenment… and then acceptance. They were helping him pack. 

The apartment he was supposed to move in was so much better in comparison to where he's living right now. It was spacious and neat. Exactly how Bobby likes it. Except maybe the fact that he has band neighbors and the fair warning that it'll be too loud on weekends, which were his only rest days. But since he was considered fortunate to have _bagged_ a house in the middle of the year, Bobby will just have to suck it up. 

"You're so technical, hyung." Junhoe snorts beside him, watching the minimalist design of the housewarming party invitation he's going to give to his co-workers for formality. Bobby had never thrown a party for himself, nor for other people but it doesn't really matter because Yunhyeong and Jinhwan would eat everything he gives them. It's fine. He's excited. 

"I think it'll be funny when the faculty finds out I'm handing them invitations unironically." He giggles, changing the default names into that of his co-workers'.

"You know what I think? I think you're trying to avoid packing up by doing that." Junhoe shakes his head in false disapproval, clicking his tongue twice and crossing his arms. "Anyway, you're inviting Kim Hanbin too? I thought you said he hates you? Something must've happened between you guys in his house, huh?" He wiggles his eyebrows and Bobby tells him to piss off. 

Bobby knows Hanbin hates him. Or they kinda hate each other but a little more on Hanbin's side than his. The only reason he doesn't like him is because Hanbin started it. Why would he like someone who doesn't like him back anyway? (Junhoe was out of the question). It'll be rude of him not to invite him though, they're co-teachers after all. Plus, he hasn't properly thanked him when he let him sleep in his house. 

Free booze would make up for it. 

///////

Bobby was usually early. Although, Hanbin was always earlier than him. He doesn't think of it as some competition though but he did take note of that one time he was five minutes earlier and he circled the date on his desk calendar just to spite him. 

This time he was the first person in the faculty. He pats himself on the back for doing a good job. Hanbin wouldn't arrive yet for an hour. He was _that_ early. The reason was that he did want to invite him, but he didn't want to go the extra mile and give the invitation personally. He carefully places the plain white envelope on his messy desk, among the myriads of papers with hundreds of written formulas that he couldn't even make out because of his shitty penmanship. He doesn't bother fixing his things because he didn't want Hanbin to be too suspicious of it.

He saunters back to his desk and smiles to himself, wondering how Hanbin would react once he sees. 

Things doesn't go according to plan. Hanbin was late. Well, not in terms of their schedule but later than his usual. Bobby couldn't believe Jinhwan and Yunhyeong was already in the faculty room before him. 

The door opens and he almost audibly snorts when he sees him, with a frown so early in the morning. Hanbin was wearing a childish band-aid on his face, and Bobby thinks he looks _cute_ but he doesn't say it out loud. Instead he tells him, "What are you, five?"

"Don't talk to me." Hanbin scowls. 

"Fine. Yunhyeong!" He calls, and Yunhyeong lifts his head up and peeks through his desk. "Look at Hanbin. What is he, five?" They both laugh. 

Hanbin glares at him and walks through his desk. Bobby hides from his, watching him and patiently waiting for his reaction. 

But then, Hanbin just straight up gathered all the papers on his desk and shoves them in the trash can below him, slumping on his chair with his brows furrowed. Bobby curses under his breath. _He's so fucking sick for that. Something is wrong with him._

He feels like his energy got sucked out of him when he gave Yunhyeong and Jinhwan their invitations, not even hopping on with the banters. He gave them when Hanbin wasn't there of course, he feels embarrassed enough. Although when he had walked past his desk, there was an urge to rummage through his trash bin and retrieve the invitation he worked on until midnight last night. 

Hanbin was sulking until the afternoon, even more when their eyes meet. Bobby doesn't really care what his deal with him was but right now he's almost sure it's his fault. There must be some misunderstanding that he refuses to clear. He wants to talk to him but he's afraid to get shut out and shit on so he refrains. 

Ever since Hanbin had been clear of his hatred towards him, Bobby always thought of reasons why. Was it something he said? Something he had unconsciously done? Something Hanbin heard? There were so many times where he tried to just shrug it off and act close with him—a smile on his direction, a light slap on his shoulder whenever he laughs, even initiating a high five. It gets tiring whenever Hanbin unwillingly lets him. Bobby doesn't like the feeling of being unwanted so he just stopped trying altogether. And when he found out it was better to just ride his hate boner instead of avoiding it, he found some reasons to dislike him too. 

He was catching up on some readings on his break, a tattered copy of Frankenstein he borrowed from the library lies on his desk table as he tries to understand five chapters worth of discussion for some know-it-all high schoolers who either think his subject isn't that important or treat it like a major one and scrutinize every word he says. There's this one girl in his class who narrowed her eyes at him when he announced he'll be discussing Mary Shelley next week. She said she didn't see Mary Shelley's name in the course itinerary posted on their high school website. Bobby had to tell her nicely that Mary Shelley wasn't there because he just added her in his lessons and she replied with, "Why would you do that, Sir?" which felt a little condescending so he just smiled at her and shrugged. Why would he do it? Well, first of all, because he can. And second, the course itinerary was full of men and he'd rather discuss works by women rather than a bunch of Fitzgerald 2.0s that bring nothing to the table except headaches and one movie adaptation. Not only did he add one woman author, he added two. 

Thinking about it, his shift from Economics to Literature was one of the easiest things that had happened to him. He was well-read, his mother made sure of that. He can't even imagine what kind of pain it'll bring him if he happened to discuss how marginal returns work with his current state of mind. At least Literature gets some people interested, Economics mostly bore.

He gets distracted when Hanbin groans from his table, pulling his hair out in frustration as he crumples another set of papers and dips his head on the desk, along with the balled up notes that could've been easily _recycled._ Bobby shakes his head. 

Hanbin was messy. 

It wasn't really his issue to begin with but it frustrates him how he could work with a bunch of papers with no labels on his desk. He gets his students' tests mixed up a lot because he refuses to buy portfolios (which was sold by Yunhyeong who was branded as the stationery king, Bobby always buys everything he sells so maybe he's the one eating what he's being given). If Hanbin wasn't messy, he would've seen the invitation he put carefully so on his table. 

But he couldn't even do that because again, he's very messy. 

Last year it was mandated on their teacher's handbook that they have to wear neckties to work. Bobby bought seven for each day of the week and everyone was partly excited to be going to school in all its semi-formality. Except Hanbin, of course. He had managed to come up with different ways _not_ to wear neckties. One time, he wore a choker to work. Bobby told him it was unprofessional and Hanbin told him _suck my ass._ Which he thought was very alarming. Then there was a lace tied up into a neat ribbon under the collars of his plaid button down. Bobby side-eyed him every time they're in the faculty room. He doesn't understand why Hanbin wouldn't just follow the rules, he even went as far as wearing neckerchiefs. Handbooks exist for a reason! The rule didn't last long (Bobby blames Hanbin for it), and it was changed to optional after months.

There's something about him that always almost crosses the line but never really does. Hell, he doesn't even own an umbrella. Bobby had resorted to thinking he's got some toxic masculinity going on around because umbrellas are basic necessities and everyone should have one. 

"What are you looking at?" He snaps in his thoughts when Hanbin speaks, well shouts because their desks are situated on each corner of the room, very far from each other. 

"I'm spacing out. Why are you so aggressive?" Bobby replies, scrunching his nose and then looking back at where he stopped reading. 

"Spacing out looking at me!" 

"Yeah, I'm wondering why you're wearing a band-aid on your face. Is that a fashion statement?" He lifts an eyebrow and Hanbin squints at him. 

"I'm sorry, Mr. I've-never-had-a-pimple-in-my-life, but some of us do and it makes me very insecure, thank you." Hanbin smiles sarcastically. 

Bobby drops the topic, conceding. 

_When did I ever say I never had a pimple? I literally have one on the side of my forehead right now!_

///////

They found out later on that the new part-time teacher doesn't have a regular schedule. He's only at school every Mondays and Wednesdays. Bobby greets him with a smile when he walks past him to his desk. 

He had given out invitations to everyone except for him. And he still hasn't given Hanbin another one but he's really just delaying it. It was lunch and Donghyuk was sitting on the center table with a familiar notebook in his hand. 

"So me and my man were packing Bobby's things up and look what I found." He lifts the notebook for everyone to see and of course, Yunhyeong overreacted. 

"No way, is that the slam book from last year?" His voice was so delighted that Bobby has to laugh at how ridiculous he looked. Yunhyeong flipped him the finger but it was the one beside his middle because he wanted to be nice. 

"Yup. I figured it would help Jaewon know more about you guys and how dirty you all are." Jinhwan snorts, shaking his head as he claims that he was never dirty and Yunhyeong revealed that whatever he wrote in there was a sham as to not ruin his image. 

Donghyuk gives Jaewon the slam book and the latter thanks him with a big smile, skimming through the pages. 

Bobby remembers most of what he's written there. Likes, dislikes, hobbies. He even remembers writing _Kim Hanbin_ as the person he wanted to be close with but when Donghyuk said it'll be shown to others, he changed the name to _Kim Dahyun._

Hanbin wrote his name in the Dislike part. Donghyuk told him he didn't know it would be shown and when he did, he didn't have time to change it because Bobby already saw. 

It was fine really. Bobby understood that not everyone would like him. But he did think about it all night as he stuffed his face with ice cream and a bunch of ungraded papers swarming his bed. Because really, what the fuck did he do to be disliked? It didn't make sense. 

"Bobby, you like Nirvana too?" Jaewon comes up to him, holding the slam book.

Bobby tries hard not to look at Hanbin because this was all too familiar. Before he saw that Hanbin listed him as one of his dislikes, he came up to him to gloat how much he liked Nirvana too. But of course it went awkward when he finally saw his name just below the likes section. Hanbin was too quiet after that. 

"Yeah, they're my favorite." Bobby lets him linger on his desk, smiling. 

They talk about their favorite song and favorite album, about watching the MTV unplugged concert and feeling nostalgic. It was all going well until Hanbin says, "I like Nirvana too!" 

Everyone looks at his direction. Bobby stops talking. 

"Awkward." He hears Yunhyeong whisper. 

"Ah, I haven't seen your part." Jaewon says, scratching the back of his neck. 

Hanbin shrugs, shameless. "I'm just saying. I probably know more things about Nirvana than Bobby hyung." He slumps back to his seat and shrugs again. Bobby scoffs. 

"Anyway, back to me." His eyes disappear when he smiles at Jaewon and they continue to talk, as if Hanbin didn't just tell them off a while ago. 

"Is he always sulky? I think we got off on the wrong foot when we first met because I said something that made him uncomfortable." Jaewon leans closer to him to whisper in his ear. 

Bobby chuckles, shaking his head. "He just doesn't like me." He leans into him to whisper back too. The older nods. 

"So, um, would you like to go to a party?" Bobby asks. He did have a spare invitation for the part-timer but he'd only give it to him once he agrees. So it wouldn't go to waste.

"Really? I would love to. Is it your party?" 

He didn't know why it made him blush but he nods, biting the inside of his cheeks. Jaewon has a pretty smile, it's a little intimidating. "It's not much. But there's chicken and beer. It's a housewarming." Then he gives him the invitation. 

Jaewon opens the envelope excitedly, his eyes widen as he was reading. Bobby stares at him in confusion. "Wow, you live next to me."

"What?" Bobby mirrors his expression. 

"I live next door to yours. We're actually neighbors!"

"So you have a band?" 

Jaewon ducks his head shyly and nods. Bobby pushes him lightly as if he couldn't believe it. "You're so cool, hyung." 

And he didn't know why it felt good seeing Jaewon blush too. The older replies with, "Since you're my neighbor, I'll keep the noise down." He winks. 

Bobby laughs, agreeing. He tells him thanks and then the bell rings. 

When Jaewon goes back to his desk with the slam book in his hand, Bobby lifts his head to find Hanbin staring at him. His smile dies down, Hanbin glares at him. 

Maybe inviting him will be out of the question.

///////

It felt an awful lot like they were in highschool. Bobby didn't expect Hanbin to corner him just as he was about to head to his classroom. He's holding his portfolio tightly in his hand, raising a brow at the younger, forehead creased. 

"What now?" 

"Why do you hate me?" Of all things Hanbin would ask, Bobby didn't expect it to be this. It's almost funny because Hanbin shouldn't be the one to ask that. It's not like he's the one being snarled at and cornered. He's about to be late. 

He scoffs, looking away. "No, Hanbin. Why do _you_ hate me?"

"You seem to have no problem interacting with Jaewon the newbie. You couldn't even do the same thing to me when I was one." 

Oh. So that's the route he chose. That's where it all began. 

It's not like he didn't like Hanbin. It was never the case. He was in the middle of a break up when Hanbin came into the picture. He was intimidated. He was out of energy. But when he did get over whatever it was that was keeping him from reaching out, Hanbin had already declared that he doesn't like him. What was he supposed to do? 

"You can't even invite me—"

"I invited you." Bobby cuts him off. "You were the first one to receive the envelope. Maybe you should check your trash bin so you'll know I'm not shitting on you." He pushes him aside. 

"Whatever. I'm not planning to go anyway." Hanbin tells him. 

Bobby looks at him like he couldn't believe him. All that fuss for nothing. "Fine. Cool. Whatever." 

He hoped, for the love of God, that the glare he gave him wasn't too ridiculous. Else it would've ruined the mood. 

He enters the classroom with a scowl on his face. No amount of professionalism could save him right now. He takes out his anger by giving out a surprise quiz. 

  
  
  


Yunhyeong was teasing him nonstop for setting up a housewarming party at lunch. He said no sane person would celebrate this early in the afternoon, definitely not with their demographics.

"I should've told everyone to ditch Bobby's invitation and just surprise him at night. This is so strange." Jinhwan plops on his new couch, stretching his legs on the ceramic table in front. 

Bobby pouts. "You want me to look pathetic waiting for my visitors to come?" He gives him his best puppy eyes and the older pretends to barf. 

One by one, his guests started coming. Today was all for his co-teachers. Tomorrow, for his family. They all liked his new pad and Bobby was so glad he made this decision.

When Junhoe hugged him and told him he'll miss having him in the house, he told him he could always visit. That's the only time he remembers he's not wearing the dogtag he gave him. He contemplates on whether to get it or not but decides against it because he feels like it wouldn't be appropriate. 

After all, it was his freedom day. Nothing was about to ruin it. 

Jaewon came later than the planned time. He said he had other errands in the morning and since he lives just beside his house, he could stop by anytime. 

"You earn a lot from your gigs then. Bobby says the rent was costly." Yunhyeong mumbles, already a bit drunk. Bobby laughs at his current state. He's been complaining too much a while ago but look at him now. 

Jaewon shrugs, cryptic. "I'll invite you guys when the band plays, but only if you wanna come." When he rubs his forearm shyly, only then did Bobby notice his tattoos. He looks nice with it. 

The two of them were in the living room while his co-workers talk about the possible change of directors in the diner. Bobby doesn't know why but there's a comfortable air between him and Jaewon… something he only found in Junhoe before. It's light and there's no fear of saying the wrong things. They don't have much in common but they were able to talk about what they like and what they don't. 

Bobby notices that Jaewon smiles a lot. Even when nothing's remotely funny, he's smiling and it makes him smile too. He tells him about his tattoos, why he had them—most of it was his lack of consciousness when drunk. 

"Do you have one?" The older asks. 

Bobby nods. "Yeah, on my back. It's something I had similar with my brother." His smile was sheepish when Jaewon tells him that it's cool. 

"Hey, I just realized." 

"What?" 

"Hanbin isn't here." 

And there it was. 

Bobby wasn't even trying to deny it. He's been _trying_ to see how long it'll take until someone finds out. They might think he was rude for not inviting him, when in reality, Hanbin outright rejected him twice. One, indirectly. But still. 

Bobby shrugs. "Maybe he's late." He lies. He knows full well Hanbin wouldn't come. His pride's too high for that. 

By the time the _lame_ party (according to Jinhwan who seemed to enjoy it more than he did) ended, Yunhyeong was so drunk he couldn't even stand straight. He called a cab for them and he wasn't safe with his ramblings when he said, "Bobby, my man, you didn't tell me you have a car. You should let me borrow it some time." He hiccups. 

"Yeah, preferably when you're sober, my man." He shakes his head and scrunches his nose. Jinhwan apologizes for the trouble but he's laughing and Bobby wants to smack him in the face for being so annoying. 

"Nice party, by the way." The shorter giggles as he pulls his boyfriend out of the door. "Yunhyeong threw up in the diner. We're so sorry! Bye!" 

Bobby groans. Donghyuk and Junhoe excused themselves earlier and the girls just sent gift cards. 

"I'll help you clean." Jaewon offers, Bobby nods and thanks him. He was the only one left. He lives nearby anyway. 

Jaewon was mopping the living room and he was in the diner, washing the dishes. He spots Jinhwan's beret on one of the chairs and he wonders if he'll come back to retrieve it. The older knocks lightly on the door and Bobby turns his head to face him, removing his gloves. 

"You should check out who's outside your door." His smile was suggestive and he narrows his eyes at him, wiping his hands on the dry towel hanging below the counter. 

"Jinhwan came back?" He asks. 

"See for yourself." 

They both head to the living room and then to the door. Bobby checks the monitor and when he sees Hanbin's face, he doesn't even think twice before opening the door. 

Bloodshot eyes, unsteady stance… he's already drunk. 

"Hyung, why didn't you invite me?" He's sniffling before he stumbles. Bobby catches him right on time, arms around his waist. "I hate you." Hanbin mumbles and then he's passed out, cheek squished on his shoulder.

He sees that his lips are bitten raw, and there are blotches of red marks on his jaw. There's a budding worry in his chest and he absolutely hates it. 

Why does it have to be him?


	8. Hanbin, and his memories, all apologies

Hanbin doesn't wake up on his own. There was someone tapping lightly on his cheeks and when he opened his eyes, it was a doctor. Why was he in the hospital? 

"Hanbin." A voice calls. He blinks twice and realizes that he wasn't in a hospital because there was no way his co-worker named Bobby would be the doctor. Unless he's also managed to score a medical degree or whatever you call it. He groans, scratching his neck. 

"What are you doing here?" He asks, tone rough from sleep. He figures it was best not to speak closely so he scoots away from Bobby, who was sitting on the edge of the bed in a loose shirt and cotton shorts. It's the first time he's seeing him like this and he doesn't know what to feel. Or how to feel. 

"Well, it's my house. That's why." Bobby answers, smiling at such a hostile way that made him narrow his eyes. 

He nods in understanding, still squinting as he roams his eyes around. "This is your bedroom." He says as a statement. Everything is white… and it's very cold. Must've been why he thought he was in a hospital. He swallows and almost gags when he tastes something bitter. Okay, so he was apparently also drunk. 

"Yes, Hanbin. This is _in fact_ my bedroom." Bobby sighs. "It's my first time in this house and I didn't even get to sleep in my own bed. How fun is that?" His voice was laced with sarcasm and Hanbin refrains himself from scoffing. 

It's not like it was his fault he was drunk and accidentally remembered the address on Bobby's invitation that he had to physically retrieve in the trash bin, and then thought it would be nice to find all his co-workers having fun while he's in misery as he tries to gatecrash and blame it all on Bobby? 

Maybe he was at fault. But only for some part of it. He rolls his eyes. "Why didn't you just slam the door on me?" He massages his temple as a headache suddenly kicks in. "God, I don't even remember what happened after knocking. Did I do something weird?"

Bobby was quick to shake his head, looking away. "You just threw up, cried, and then fell asleep. And you were heavy so I didn't bother." The older faces him again. "Plus, how could I slam the door on you when you basically hurled your body on me?" He lifts an eyebrow. 

Hanbin groans again, freefalling on the bed—which was really soft—and clutching his head. "You've seen too much. I'm not getting rid of you." He whines. 

He's so embarrassed he wants to just bolt away and forget this ever happened. Why does it always have to be Bobby anyway? Does he really not have enough friends on his own? Bobby isn't even his friend to begin with. 

"I, however, am." Bobby jumps on the bed on his knees, pulling at his arms until he's sitting up. "You need to sober up and go home. My parents are coming and I don't want them to…" He pauses as he stares him down. Hanbin tilts his head. "...get the wrong idea." 

///////

Hanbin never really had bad hangovers. He gets a headache for a few minutes but it's nothing warm water can't fix. He learned about it the hard way, i.e. a nurse's advice when he got so drunk he ended up in a hospital. The memory was a blur but he made sure not to forget the important ones. And that includes warm water. 

Bobby sent him home personally. He thought it was unnecessary but the older said he didn't want to feel irresponsible once something happens to him again. Hanbin felt like a burden but he didn't say it out loud. He owes him after all. 

Once he was already in his house, he tries to trace the previous events that led to him ending up in front of Bobby's door. 

He remembers seeing Jaewon briefly, beside Bobby, before his memory blacks out. He remembers his staggering walks as he got on the elevator to press Bobby's floor number with trembling hands. He remembers hailing a cab, and then crying in the cab when he saw how messed up he looked in the reflection of the window. He remembers Chanwoo… and then shouting at Chanwoo… the younger kissing him… pushing him to the wall. He remembers his teeth sinking on his neck, mouth on his jaw, lips on his lips. He remembers a forceful tongue… he remembers saying _no._

"What?" Chanwoo pulled away from him, shocked to see that he was crying. They drank prior to this. It was supposed to be a movie night that he didn't really agree with. Chanwoo showed up to his house, uncapped a few bottles of beer in his fridge and Hanbin thought it might fix whatever was broken between them. That Chanwoo would say whatever he was hiding, or what else. Instead he got messy kisses with half-assed apologies. 

"I don't want to fuck." He told him, wiping his tears and feeling pathetic. He's older and yet he's the one on the losing end. He wonders if his relationship with him ever felt good, at least once. They just seem to not care enough about each other and somehow, whenever Hanbin feels like he needs another warm body, it was never Chanwoo yet he's got no choice. When he needed to cry, Chanwoo was never there. When he's happy, Chanwoo always had problems on his own that he's the only one to fix. He doesn't understand it. He never really did. He just thought it was nice to know he _would_ have someone, even if they're not there for him, they exist. 

"Okay. I'm just kissing you." 

He scrubbed his face with his palm, mussing his own hair in frustration. "No, I know it will lead to some fucking." 

"No, you're just drunk, hyung. We're not going to fuck." Chanwoo tried to kiss him again but he finally pushed him away this time. He tripped and fell on the floor. He's pissed when he stood up. "What? Was it that guy from last time? You don't want me anymore because you got another one?" 

Hanbin was pissed too. He's looking at him full of spite like he's never loved him. He wasn't sure if he did. He doesn't remember if it happened. "Is it true?" 

"Is what true?" Chanwoo walked closer to him, brows furrowed and for a moment, he thought he was about to get punched, and he's scared—no, he's frightened. 

"You and Jung Jaewon." There must've been a recollection in the younger's brain when he said his name. 

Jaewon told him about what Chanwoo did to him. It was at a bar. They fucked and then he woke up without his wallet. It wasn't really a big deal because he unfortunately didn't bring the one with his cards, only a handful of cash and that's it. The next morning they saw each other in the hallways when he taught in his university for a few months. 

Hanbin found out he did it when they were still together. He felt sick. 

"Hyung, I needed the money." There goes the sad, puppy eyes. He'd seen this so many times before. And he'd always give in. Chanwoo was holding both of his elbows now, rubbing his arms as if calming him down. He felt more like he's being caged, like he's being controlled to just forgive him… time and time again. "You weren't giving me enough." 

Hanbin scoffed. "Am I supposed to give you money? Is that what my role is in this relationship? Your cash cow?"

Chanwoo shook his head, groaning. "No. It's not like that–it's just–I had tons of shit going on around me–you wouldn't understand." His grip on him tightened and that's probably when Hanbin deemed it was enough. He pushed him away again with a glare, taking a bottle with him before he said, "Yeah, I'm breaking up with you for good this time. Take whatever you want and leave me alone. I do hope you understand, unlike me." 

There were some scenes that appear in his head as he goes about his day that morning. Like hearing Bobby's whines as he cleans up his vomit on the floor. Bobby wiping his mouth with a damp cloth. Bobby complaining about how the couch is too small for him, how he's going to get a bigger one, how it's so annoying that he has no guest room. 

"Do you know I broke up with my boyfriend today?" He giggled, as he felt Bobby's weight on the bed, tucking him in. His eyes were closed so he didn't see him. Didn't want to. 

Bobby was silent. He took it as a chance to continue. "He fucked with this dude while he's still with me. My dick wasn't enough, hyung. It's not enough." He's crying now. 

"I did not want to hear that, thank you." Bobby said, patting his head awkwardly before settling on the couch.

"He was fucking Jung Jaewon. That part-timer? Is he that pretty? He looks like any other boy. Tell me, hyung. I'm prettier, right?" 

Hanbin blushes after remembering what probably was the last thing he could make out with all the blur. He hears mumbles from Bobby but no clear answers. Nothing that he was aware of anyway. 

He wonders if he has to apologize. He forgot to do it awhile ago. 

///////

Monday was a different kind of awkward. Jaewon was there. Bobby was, of course, there. Everyone probably knew what happened already but he's early as usual. He gets to see their reaction one by one. 

"Hey, Hanbin. Why weren't you at Bobby's housewarming party? It was mediocre but it was really fun." Yunhyeong grills him the minute he sees him. 

Hanbin was confused but he was also relieved. So, nobody told anyone. Yet. 

"I was busy." He dismisses, shrugging. But Yunhyeong was clueless and egged him on still. Hanbin just didn't want to get reminded of what happened that weekend but here he was, listening to Yunhyeong talk about Jinhwan forgetting his beret, and how Donghyuk and Junhoe was planning to go on a trip for the semestral break, and how Jaewon and Bobby had a whole world on their own, talking and laughing on the couch. 

Hanbin thinks about where he would be if he went there. Like really went and not because of his impulsive tendencies. 

Who would he talk to? He feels alone at that thought. 

Jaewon and Bobby were laughing in their corner. He hates that their desks are so near with each other. It's noisy. Since when did Bobby get so talkative? 

"Okay teach, our part-timer has an announcement. Everyone listen." Bobby declares, before the bell rings. 

The others lift their heads up from their desks and Hanbin only listens half-heartedly. He'll hear it anyway. 

Jaewon elbows Bobby shyly, laughing and shaking his head. "So, uh, my band is playing this Wednesday. I know it's a school night and everyone's busy but you guys are welcome to watch even just for a sec." His lips form a smile, glancing at the man beside him as if saying _Hey, I did it._ Hanbin scoffs lightly. 

"Wow, that's awesome. What's the name of your band?" His co-workers go for another _Jaewon interrogation,_ Hanbin's eyes are trained on Bobby's. 

Bobby meets his gaze, not too quickly. He's not retreating. They're having a stare-off. The bell rings and the older cocks a brow. 

He really wants to apologize. 

  
  


"So what are we going to talk about?" Jaewon has his hands in his pockets, casually walking to the faculty room to have lunch. 

"Ah, I was going to tell you that I already broke up with Chanwoo." Hanbin chuckles, head low. "I honestly don't know why I'm telling you this. Just thought you should know." 

There's a slight pause in Jaewon's steps, Hanbin continues walking. "Oh. Sorry about that." The older says. "And sorry about the whole thing. Before that. I didn't know he had a boyfriend. I didn't know a thing about him." 

"Hey, it's fine. It wasn't your fault. It was long overdue anyway. The breakup, I mean. He played us both, man." Hanbin tries to lightly push his shoulder but decides against it. They weren't _that_ close. Jaewon smiles, the same one he does for Bobby. Or maybe the same one he does for everyone. He realizes he only sees Jaewon whenever he's with Bobby. 

"Alright, we good?" 

"Yeah, we good."

The older laughs. "You going to my gig?" 

Hanbin doesn't really want to. But for the sake of being _good_ he says, "Sure. I'll stop by. Wednesday right?" 

Jaewon hums. He opens the door and he's already skipping towards Bobby, eating lunch peacefully and then smiling at him, the one where his eyes disappear. Something he'd never seen him show him before. What's up with that?

Not that he's jealous.

Definitely not. 

///////

It's Tuesday when he finally gets to apologize to Bobby. It wasn't a proper one but it'll do. It's early in the morning. Just the two of them in the cold faculty room. 

Usually, they don't acknowledge each other's presence and wait until their co-teachers come. Whenever their eyes would meet, Hanbin would automatically glare and Bobby would scoff. It's like a tradition, but it happens every weekdays. 

He stops by his desk. Bobby was visibly taken aback seeing him lean on the glass just to see him. "Hey." The older starts. 

"Hey, hyung." 

"Hey." 

"Okay, stop saying hey. It's getting tiring." Hanbin rolls his eyes. Bobby scoffs. 

"Okay." 

"So… I wanted to apologize."

"What? Why?" 

"For what happened last weekend." He wasn't sure if it was his imagination but he did catch Bobby blush. The older then fakes a cough. 

"What about last weekend?" 

"You know. The whole me being a nuisance and invading your personal space. Puking in your room, sleeping on your bed, crying in your face. All that stuff." Hanbin shrugs, seriously over it. He had spent a lot of time being embarrassed about it that he's immune to it already. 

"It takes you a whole three days to apologize for it?" Bobby laughs, shaking his head. It's not the mocking kind but Hanbin still feels like he was being made fun of. 

"Yeah, whatever. Why did I even try?" He stomps back to his desk. Bobby laughs again. 

"I accept your apology, Hanbin-ah. Buy me lunch." When he looks at him again he's wiggling his eyebrows. He flips him the finger and then the door opens to reveal a whiny Yunhyeong and Jinhwan with his beret. 

It was obviously something about Jinhwan not wanting Yunhyeong to borrow his tiny hat. He thought it was very French. Hanbin couldn't care less. 

But he did take note of how Jaewon pats Bobby's head as he takes a seat on his desk. 

He suddenly remembers Bobby doing the same thing to him while he was on his bed. It makes him smile and he immediately hides it. 

  
  


Their co-teachers were a bunch of frauds. He was already at the club where Jaewon and his band was supposed to perform. Nobody was around except him. He sees Jaewon setting up on stage and he waves at him briefly. It wasn't packed but he knows it will be once it's darker out. 

He was about to leave because he really had more things to do but then he sees Bobby coming in, pushing the glass door with one hand and the other in the pocket of his jeans. 

He's wearing a plain black shirt topped with a dark green bomber jacket. His hair was down in soft curls. And it seems like it's the first time he's not seeing his forehead. He's not even complaining. He looks good. Great. _He looks whatever._

It feels so weird seeing him wear casual clothing and not his go-to slacks and button downs. Hanbin takes a gulp. Bobby smiles. 

"Where are the others?" He asks when he's closer to him. 

"Obviously not here. I don't think they'll come." Hanbin replies, averting his gaze to the stage. They were about to perform. Jaewon was a drummer. He didn't know that. 

"I feel bad now." Bobby pouts. "But at least you're here, right?" And he probably didn't mean it like _that._ When Hanbin looks at him he's staring at the stage. "Jaewon promised to play some Nirvana classics for me. I mean, everything Nirvana is a classic." Bobby laughs and then leans down, he holds his breath. "I hope it's not Smells Like Teen Spirit." Then he's laughing again.

Hanbin was right. More people came as they started the intro. The frontman has a unique, raspy voice and it makes him remember Kurt but not in a sad way. He doesn't know what song they were playing. It was probably an original. He didn't even hear what their band name was. Either way, it's relaxing. He closes his eyes. He hears Bobby hum. 

"You know this song?" He asks. 

Bobby nods. "They're a cover band. It's Follow You from Bring Me The Horizon." 

Hanbin _ah_ s. He hopes he remembers that. 

They play another song from the West. Hanbin rolls his eyes because he has no idea what it was, again. The crowd goes wild and he guesses it was a popular one. But he doubts it. He would've known what it was if it is. Hanbin thinks the world revolves around him. 

Bobby shouts when Jaewon steals the mic. Eyes on them. On Bobby. Hanbin looks too. He's not wearing any make-up. It's noticeable amidst all the lights. Hanbin had to conceal a pimple scar but he'll probably say his face is naturally flawless when anyone asks. He always does it and they always believe. "This one's for my friend, Kim Jiwon." Jaewon announces. 

The song that plays was _All Apologies._ Hanbin wants to groan out loud. Out of all the songs it has to be the one where Kurt says _all in all is all we are._ He thinks about high school Hanbin. Writing a 2000-word essay about its meaning for his music theory. How everyone exists all at once. That nobody is special and people are nothing superior to something, say like an ant or elephants, even dinosaurs. He'd stop trying to stray away from what's already given, he'd stop trying to be different. He'd just acknowledge that he's the way he is. 

Of course it was pure bullshit and he only wrote it to pass. With his current case, he's nowhere near acceptance. Not when Bobby's singing beside him, close enough for him to hear. He sounds good. 

He glances at him once more. Probably the last time that night. When his eyes travel down to the curve of his lips, he suddenly sees another scene. 

Him on the wall, lips on lips, hands on his face, and then all over his body… except this time it was soft, it was careful. His eyes are closed, his forehead creased, lips parted with heaving chests. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" He shouts. 

Bobby covers his ears partly. He leans down. "Huh?" 

"Why didn't you tell me what really happened last night?" His eyebrows knit, Bobby's red from the neck down. He's sweating and blushing at the same time. 

"I already told you." He's shouting too. 

"You didn't." Bobby looks away, eyes on the stage to deflect. "I kissed you." 

_In the sun, in the sun, I feel as one_

_Married, buried_

He sees his Adam's apple bobbing. "Ah, you were very drunk. I didn't take advantage of the situation, I promise." Bobby explains. 

Hanbin remembers that Bobby didn't kiss back. But even so, he was just as breathless.

"I'm not drunk right now." He claims. Bobby turns his head to face him. 

"What?" 

"I want to kiss you again." 

Last night he remembers Bobby's answer. 

He said, _"You're prettier, Hanbin-ah."_

_All in all is all we are._

  
  



	9. Bobby, and The School Tour, and some kind of truce

_Victor Frankenstein turned his back on his own creation. He treated it like a monster and looked at it in fear as if his own nightmare had manifested in front of him. I wonder if it was the same thing when people feel like God has forsaken them. They become lost, doing things that would make them feel alive without so much as a thought about how they're completely deteriorating inside. Not many understand how Frankenstein's monster is as human as you and I._

Bobby clicks his tongue in awe as he skims through the ending paragraphs of his students' chapter review. For him, he didn't really need to read the whole thing—he still does when he's not busy—because it'll be a waste of time. If the ending paragraph strikes him, he'll give it a chance. If it doesn't, he writes a _passable_ grade. He's not a fan of wasting precious time.

According to his own schedule, he was supposed to check the papers a day before the field trip so he could distribute them on the bus but he found the time right now fitting because if he does nothing, his mind automatically comes back to that one particular night. 

He was just done grading papers, lying idly on his bed and was about to do something remotely tiring so he would end up asleep with empty thoughts. Before he could do just exactly that, he got hit by a sudden flashback. 

Bobby groans. "Not now." 

As though he wasn't in control of his brain, it all comes back to him like it was yesterday. 

Hanbin was staring at him patiently, eyes coaxing him to answer. He wondered why it was so hard to open his mouth, just a simple _no, you definitely should not_ but he stands still and he was hearing nothing, not even the lyrics the band in front was singing, not even his own heartbeat. But he was sure he's nervous. He could feel it and it's an unwelcome feeling that he wanted to get rid of as soon as possible. 

The younger had said, "I want to kiss you again." and Bobby remembered why he said the word _again._ That night of his housewarming party, he contemplated about letting Hanbin lie down on the couch downstairs, but he didn't want to worry about him once he's on his own bed so he brought him to his room. He wasn't that heavy, though he still breathed out a sigh of relief when he succeeded standing on his own, removing his arms on his shoulder. 

"Let me take you to bed." He said, and blushed instantly when Hanbin stared at him, drunken eyes and all, suggestively smirking. "Not like that, you perv—"

His back met the wall, head hitting accidentally and for someone who was drunk out of his ass, Hanbin was surprisingly strong. "Hyung." His tone of voice was very telling. Bobby gulps. _No way. No fucking way._

He laughs awkwardly, Hanbin was stepping closer, trapping him with his arms, eyebrows knitted. "Dude, I know what you're trying to do." It's almost comical how he knew. It's everything he had seen before.

Hanbin tilts his head, curious. "You do?" His voice was low, like a whisper under his breath, and he smelled of beer and ramen. Bobby scrunches his nose.

"This is like harassment or something." 

"Uh-huh? Then push me away." Bobby tried, he really did. Maybe not enough but he doesn't know why he felt weak. He could barely even lift his arms. Something told him not to push him away. He's never been _this_ close to him. When he did as he was told, Hanbin laughed at his attempt. 

He's suddenly claiming his lips. 

Bobby was aware that the only thing to do was do nothing. At least in their current state. Hanbin was drunk, very much so. It probably doesn't even register to him that he's kissing him. His thoughts were all over the place. He really wanted to push him. Or he really didn't want to. Everything was contradicting. He let Hanbin hold his face, his palm was warm against his skin. His lips were soft yet chapped. He thought he tasted bitter but he wasn't sure. 

He wanted to kiss back. He wanted to really taste him. Whatever it is. Just a spur of the moment. He opened his mouth a little, Hanbin's tongue surged forward. He closed his eyes tightly and he felt guilty. Hanbin's teeth grazed his lower lip and that's when he pushed him away, successfully, albeit weakly. Hanbin looked dazed, barely breathing. Bobby wiped his mouth, averting his gaze. _Almost._

"Aaaaaaaaaam sleepy." Hanbin groaned and then threw himself on the bed. 

He covered his face with both his palms, filled with guilt and regrets. He shouldn't have let him. He thought Hanbin's going to hate him even more when he found out. 

He stared at the younger with wide eyes, gulping, gulping twice. Hanbin's waiting patiently, but anxiously tapping his foot. Bobby said, "I have to go." 

He ran away and never looked back. 

Now, thinking about it, he's so fucking embarrassed. 

///////

"Is Mr. Kim Jiwon Bobby Kim so far up in the ass of some guy named Frankenstein or is he purposely ignoring everyone?" Yunhyeong has his arms crossed as they gather in the faculty room during lunch. He was preparing a midterm test early so he doesn't have to worry about it soon and he'll have more rest days. Bobby prides himself with his time management skills. He doesn't really procrastinate intentionally, however that works. So far, he's almost done with the outline. All he needs is to type it and print enough copies.

"First of all, it's Frankenstein's monster. Second of all, yes I am. Lastly, what do you need?" He raises his head from his desk to look at the guy. He catches Hanbin looking at him though. He clears his throat instinctively, trying to focus on Yunhyeong and Yunhyeong only.

They still haven't talked. They probably never will considering the circumstances. Well, it's nothing new. Bobby wants to clear things up but he doesn't know when's the proper time to do so. And frankly, he was a little scared of what Hanbin had to say. He wishes they'll be at least back to being "civil" before the field trip. It was already October. 

"Anyway, I was about to ask you if you want to share buses with me and my students. We make origamis and sing classic love songs on the way." Yunhyeong wiggles his eyebrows. 

"I know your students, Yun. They hate you. Is there any other choice?" 

"There is, actually. It's either you share with me or with this dude Hanbin here." The other wraps his arm around Hanbin's shoulder to show him and make him choose. 

He knows Hanbin's students too. He teaches them every Thursdays before dismissal. "Ah, I'll go with the artists." He says, sitting down and proceeding with his midterm questions. He hears Yunhyeong clap, cheering. Hanbin scoffs. 

"You have to make your students memorize the trip song or else they'll feel out of place." 

Bobby makes a face. "Whatever."

"I point to myself what is this?" Yunhyeong speaks in a singsong voice, pointing at his temple. Bobby shakes his head unbelievingly. "This is my brain boxer—"

"Stop. I get it. Just send me the lyrics." He cuts him off.

"I can't believe they want us to call it The School Tour instead of field trip like everybody else. This school is so boujee." 

He snorts. "He learns the word boujee once and he keeps on using it." He tells Jaewon beside him who laughs too. "By the way, are you coming to The School Tour?" he quotes the name in the air and smiles. 

Jaewon shakes his head. "I got a sched overlapping it. Too bad." They both pout. 

The bell rings just in time for him to finish the test questions. He puts it in a separate portfolio and stashes it in one of his drawers for student files. 

Hanbin stops in front of his desk. Bobby sees him when he stands up, slinging his bag on his shoulder. 

"I want to talk to you about something." 

"Right now?" 

"After school. In the parking lot. Or wherever you want." 

Bobby nods nervously. Hanbin leaves. Sounds like he won't be getting out of trouble any soon based on Hanbin's tone. Was he picking a fight? Bobby stares at his own knuckles. When was the last time he threw a punch? 

  
  
  


"Your midterm exams are ready, by the way." He says smugly, tapping his fingers on his desk in front of his students who were now complaining. Of course he was exaggerating it. He was done with the outline. He has yet to type and print them out though. 

"Sir, it's too early." 

"I know. I was just bored." He shrugs. "Anyway, did you receive a photocopy of the next Frankenstein chapters? I'm planning to include it in the exam as a bonus." He stands up and fixes his shirt, uncapping a marker to write on the white board. "And we'll be sharing a bus with the juniors from Mr. Song's class for the school tour." 

"Does that mean we have to memorize a trip song? I heard they have one." His students start complaining again. Bobby chuckles, shaking his head. He, too, wants to complain. Yunhyeong is just too much. 

"Yeah, I'm writing the lyrics right now. Consider this as an academic break. We don't want the juniors to think we're killjoys right?" 

  
  
  


As promised, Hanbin was waiting for him in the parking lot. Right in front of his grey Hyundai Accent, which was his mother's gift when he first got a job, which he could finally use again now a year later. 

"Hey. Sorry, I was late." He says awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. Hanbin only nods. "What are we… what are we going to talk about?" He asks, but he knows it'll be what happened back then in the club. He gulps nervously. 

"I want you to tell Yunhyeong that you're going to share a bus with me and my students." 

His jaw drops. He was definitely not expecting that. Here he was sure it was going to be their long overdue talk, but Hanbin decided to talk to him about something else, something completely different. He stares at him to see if he was joking but he's dead serious. His forehead creases. "Hanbin, don't tell me what to do." 

"Okay, so it's a request then." 

"Then no."

"Why not?"

"Because I already made my students memorize some trip song that doesn't make sense and I already told them we'll be sharing buses with the art juniors. Why do you want me to switch?" 

Hanbin whines, crossing his arms. "You make it so hard for me, so hard, hyung."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bobby didn't mean to raise his voice. The parking lot was almost empty though. He clears his throat and fixes his composure. 

"I'm saying I want to share buses with you, why can't you understand that?" Hanbin raises his voice too. 

"Yeah, I get that. But _why?"_ He fails to understand why this was their topic instead of the club incident. By the looks of it, they won't be talking about that anytime soon. Bobby feels tired.

Hanbin doesn't answer, he just mumbles his words with brows furrowed and lip protruding in a pout. Bobby scrubs his face with his palm. 

"Hanbin, you teach high schoolers, you're not one." 

"I know that!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

"I'm not!"

"You are!" 

"Why are you so sure?" Hanbin walks closer, as if challenging him. 

He doesn't budge, he meets him halfway. "Because there are telltale signs, Hanbin. Telltale signs." 

"Well, fuck Edgar Allen Poe!" Hanbin starts walking away. He doesn't chase him. 

"It's Allan! And it's Telltale Heart!" He shouts at his retreating back instead, breathing ragged from all the frustration the younger just gave him. If it's not his students being a know-it-all, he was sure talking to Hanbin will be the early death of him. 

///////

Field trips have a different kind of morning. 

Bobby had observed this since he was a student. It's the sleepless night out of excitement and the cold breeze of air that hits him straight in the face and fails to dry his freshly showered hair. In a way, it calmed him. Still does. His students were already on the bus when he arrived. Yunhyeong stands up to make him sit by the window and he leans his head on it immediately. 

"Have you eaten breakfast?" The other asks. 

"Haven't." He hugs himself through his windbreaker jacket. Yunhyeong was only in the maroon and white school tour faculty polo shirt they were required to wear and Bobby commends that. It was so cold, his teeth were chattering just awhile ago.

"God, you're pale." Yunhyeong shakes his head, eyeing him like a mother. Bobby purses his lips, and he runs his tongue along them because they were dry. "And lucky. I cooked breakfast." He puts a tupperware on his lap. "Eat it while it's hot."

"Thanks, eomma." He happily says, earning a glare. 

He sees Hanbin on the other bus, by the window too, leaning his head and sleeping with his arms crossed. 

"Hanbin shares the bus with Donghyuk. He's with the freshies." Yunhyeong giggles. 

Well, that sucks. Now he kind of understands why Hanbin wanted to share with him. Freshmen are the worst. They're too excited and hyper, he can't blame them though but it gets too much and none of them knows when to stop. He wonders if he'll get enough rest. As if on cue, Hanbin wakes up with a frown. He sees the students clapping and cheering and he was so over it, covering his whole head with his bag and making himself small. 

Bobby feels bad. 

The bus starts moving and he slumps down on his seat. Yunhyeong suddenly stands up, clapping to get the students' attention. He groans as he covers his face with his jacket. 

"Okay, children. It's time to sing so the bus driver won't fall asleep." 

He snorts and shakes his head, leaning by the window, eyes closed. 

"I point to myself what is this? This is my brain boxer, young mama dear." 

He's drifting off to sleep before they could even get to the chorus. 

  
  
  
  


The school tour itinerary wasn't very loaded. First they went to an art museum. Bobby enjoyed it because the students weren't really allowed to roam free, they had to follow a line and keep close so they weren't handful. Unlike when they were in a traditional market. There was a task for the students to buy things with an allotted time and Bobby wonders who in the hell thought about it because it made him dizzy after, trying to look for his students when the timer stopped. They seem to enjoy it though.

"I was the one to propose that, by the way. It's like my quiz for Physical Education." Dahyun elbows him as they were buying sandwiches near where the buses are parked. 

"Screw you, by the way." Bobby says, having a bite, and Dahyun laughs. 

"I think you'll lose your mind when we stop at the amusement park after the hackerspace shit. You're particularly snappy today." 

"I'm staying outside the hackerspace building." Bobby shrugs. Amusement parks aren't really a problem. He'd rather enjoy it than worry about a bunch of children that aren't his. They know what they're doing anyway. He's keen on precautions however. They'll just have to meet when it's time to go home. Bobby never really feels bothersome when it comes to his students. Maybe it's because they're all almost adults. He always had it easy. Unlike, say, Hanbin, whose student lost a ticket last year which he had to pay for. That was a major bummer. In his three years of teaching, Bobby had never experienced that. 

"Why? Gonna smoke?" She lifts a brow, having a huge bite. Bobby hands her a handkerchief so she could wipe the side of her mouth. 

"I don't smoke. I just don't feel like it. They're going to follow protocols anyway. No need for advisers." 

"This is the most boring tour I've ever been. I mean, we've been visiting this hackerspace building for three years. Can't they give us something new? It's not like we don't pay." Dahyun complains, rolling her eyes. She thanks him as she gives back the handkerchief. 

"Right? Says it's for the freshies. What about the others? I'm not even in the mood one bit. Just wanna sleep." Bobby yawns. He crumples the plastic after finishing his food and puts it in his pocket to throw later.

"I think they sprayed some shit in the bus air conditioners. That would explain it." He snorts and they part ways to their respective buses. 

Bobby was true to his words and really stayed outside the building as his co-teachers get in one by one. He tells them he feels a little under the weather and will wait in the bus. 

He didn't wait in the bus. Actually, the smell of buses makes him dizzy. He usually drinks a tablet to avoid throwing up but he forgot to take one before their departure. He sits on the sidewalk and rubs his temple, playing with his phone as he waits for them to finish. Probably an hour long. 

A text from Junhoe pops up on his notification bar. Bobby presses it. 

_From: Junhoe_

_You feel dizzy, hyung?_

He replies.

_To: Junhoe_

_Kinda. How'd you know?_

_From: Junhoe_

_Duh. I know you. Probably forgot to drink a tablet beforehand._

Bobby remembers Junhoe was the one to remind him in the past field trips. That would explain it. He shoves his phone in his pocket, refusing to reply. He takes a walk around the parking lot instead, eyes straight on the road to keep himself from feeling like everything's spinning around. He stops by bus no. 4, walking in between it and bus no. 3, his and Yunhyeong's rides, while covering his nose. When he looks up, he sees Hanbin sleeping peacefully with the curtains acting as his blanket covering his neck down to his shoulders. 

He wakes up suddenly. Bobby's stuck in his place and Hanbin's recognizing him slowly. He unknowingly lifts a hand as if to say _hi._ The younger frowns and decides to turn his back on him, sleeping again. 

"Fucker." Bobby mumbles, walking back to the sidewalk. His stomach is churning and he feels like he's going to throw up Yunhyeong's breakfast sooner or later. 

///////

Bobby feels a little better once they have set foot in the amusement park. Their faculty took a lot of pictures at the entrance and was planning to stick together since the students were now allowed to be all on their own. Hanbin was walking beside him when Jinhwan proposed they ride a coaster. 

"That's a big one." Yunhyeong says, staring the coaster down. 

Jinhwan chortles. "That's what he said."

"Who's he?" 

"Your dad." 

The couple bickers and he sees Hanbin roll his eyes. "I'm changing routes." 

He looks at him and he feels disappointed. He wonders if it was his fault. Yunhyeong pouts. "Killjoy."

Hanbin shrugs, he still looks sleepy. "I'm hungry. Go enjoy the coaster, hags." He bids them goodbye and walks away casually. 

"He hates you too much he doesn't even want to ride a coaster with you." Jinhwan tells him. 

Bobby scoffs. "As if I don't know that. But thanks for stating the obvious, hyung." 

The older taps his shoulder. "Anytime." He giggles and runs towards Yunhyeong and Donghyuk who were already lining up for the coaster. He has no choice but to join them. 

They took on a bunch of rides until Jinhwan was throwing up. Bobby laughs as he takes pictures of Yunhyeong patting his back. The older was glaring at him when he handed him a tissue. 

"We've been frequent on this ride for three years now and you still can't get over it? Wow, hyung. Wow." He teases. 

"As if I ride this everyday, you idiot." The older snarls. He's wearing a scarf bought from one of the souvenir shops and somehow it makes him look funnier. Bobby also bought one, he's got it stashed in his sling bag to use as a nose cover for when he sets foot in the bus once more. 

He doesn't cross paths with Hanbin the whole night. It was about time to leave and he still hasn't seen him. 

"A junior from bus no. 4 was missing." Yunhyeong tells him as they get on the bus. 

"What?" 

"Yeah, Hanbin's looking for her inside." 

Bobby wasn't sure what's gotten into him but he steps out of the bus. "I'll go look for him. Them. Too." He stutters and then he jogs back inside. He doesn't even hear Yunhyeong's shouts of why. 

He regrets it immediately when he's already in. The place was too damn big to find a student and a teacher. He was so stupid for thinking he could. What if Hanbin had already found the student and they're headed back to the parking lot? Now they have _him_ to worry about? Bobby feels a headache kicking in. He enters a food stall and sees someone wearing the school trip shirt for students, black and blue, for the juniors. He makes a run for her. 

"Hey, it's time to go home, kid." He chases his breath. 

"Sir, I was just buying pizza for the ride home." She smiles, obviously not aware of her actions. 

"Have you seen Mr. Kim Hanbin?" 

"No, Sir." She's carrying the box of pizza in her hands as they walk together. 

"Okay, we have to get you on the bus first and I'll go look for him." 

He sends her back in no time. Yunhyeong tells him Hanbin's phone must've died because he wasn't answering his calls. Bobby says he'll be back. 

"Keep your phone on! I'll call you when he comes back and you're still in." He nods and waves a dismissal. 

Now, where the fuck could Hanbin be? 

He tries searching for him in the souvenir shops, in the food stalls, in the long lines for rides but to no avail. He doesn't see anyone wearing a maroon and black polo shirt. 

He catches his breath and stops in front of the fountain by the merry-go-round. Holding on his knees. 

"Hyung." He lifts his head up in the speed of lightning and sees Hanbin staring back at him. 

"Hanbin." He's breathless when he stands up. 

"What are you doing here?" The younger asks, hands in his pockets as if he hadn't made anyone worried sick about him. 

"I was looking for you." 

"I was looking for my student." 

"I found her. She's back in the bus." 

Hanbin nods. Then he walks past him, like he was nothing. Bobby's eyebrows meet, he catches Hanbin's wrist, pulling it to make him face him. 

"Well, we have to go back." The younger deadpans. 

"No, we have to talk about another thing." 

Hanbin lifts a brow. "What thing? That thing where you left me in the club when I told you I wanted to kiss you?" 

Bobby feels his face heating up. "Yeah, that thing." 

"What's there to talk about? I know you hate me. It's clear now." Hanbin shrugs. 

"Look, you always do this."

"Do what?" 

"You always do shit that makes me think you hate me and then when I confront you about it, you'll make it seem like _I'm_ the one who hates you."

"You didn't want me to kiss you!" He's out of his calm now. Bobby's almost relieved. 

"Do you really want to kiss _me?"_

"What's wrong with that? We're both single."

Bobby sighs. "That's exactly what's wrong with it. You just had a breakup, for God's sake. Ever heard of a three-month rule?" 

"I don't know, have you? 'Cause you seem to take much longer time to get over your ex than three months." 

His mouth opens and then closes. Hanbin knows the right buttons to push. He breaths out a long sigh, longer than the last one at least. 

"I think, hyung… you need some distractions." 

"Don't tell me what I need." Hanbin shrugs, he shakes his arm to remove his hand holding his wrist. "It's tiring to fight with you, Hanbin. Don't you feel tired?" 

"Don't tell me what to feel." 

He's smiling at him because he knows he got the upperhand. Bobby was telling the truth when he said it's getting tiring so he lets go of his pride and coherently says, "It's just—I'm–I want to… well you and I, don't you think it'll be better if we become friends? I've always wanted to be yours… friend… your friend." 

And to that Hanbin says a sentimental, "Okay."

He's starting to think he has a penchant for making decisions he might regret later on.


	10. Hanbin, and the green light, and an obsolete reminder

Obviously, Hanbin doesn't know what he was doing.

Through the past months, he had this irrational hatred towards one person who hasn't done anything remotely bad to him yet every time he remembers just as much as two lips touching, the hatred subsides. He shivers at the mere thought of it. Not just thoughts actually, he sometimes even dreams about it. 

The night of the field trip, he was barely listening to what Bobby had to say. He was staring at his lips, wondering if it was a one time thing. If he could kiss him that exact moment, would it turn back to normal right after? Would he go back to hating him? If it wouldn't, he's not really sure what he'll do. Bobby ruined him.

He was drunk then, but the memory had become too vivid every time it played in his head. Two pairs of lips meeting, hungrily, passionately. And he knows it was probably an altered version his mind had created because there was no way Bobby would indulge him, not even when he's drunk. He's too much of a _gentleman_ to do so. 

His neighborhood decided to conduct a road renovation in the middle of autumn and Hanbin was having a hard time sleeping, even with his earplugs in. For compensation, the organizers promised to give his lawn a free cut weekly and repaint his picket-fence. He supposes it was only neat. 

He's tucking Honey into his tweed dog carrier, the one he bought online which was so costly that he literally cried after receiving it. In his defense, he dreamt about his own dog tearing it to pieces, another waste of money. Fortunately, Honey loved it. It made sense because the dog always wants to accompany him everywhere he goes so if it was appropriate, he puts her in the expensive carrier and carries her around. 

It was 7pm when he realized he's got a friend now. He's smiling to himself as he fixes his own shirt, wondering what Bobby's reaction will be once he sees him outside his doorstep, this time sober. Since he thinks it was a fever dream that Bobby told him he always wanted to be his friend, he made it a point to see how true the older's words were. Hence, a _friendly_ ambush. 

Honey proved how excited she was to be going out when she barked as they got in the elevator of Bobby's new apartment, pressing the floor number. "Honestly, you don't have to behave when we get there. Trash everything, pee on his couch, I don't care." He snorts, imagining the look on Bobby's face. It was already dark outside, he'll be surprised for sure. 

He's holding on the carrier handle tightly when he rings the doorbell, smiling wide at the monitor. He even does the extra mile to lift up Honey and show him how he brought her too. 

The door opens. His smile doesn't falter, eyes disappearing as he greets the man in front of him, in a plain white shirt and striped pink and red wool pajama pants. "Bobby hyung, hello!" 

Bobby's brows furrowed, not quite mad but more confused. Honey barks as if on cue. The older looks at her, head sticking out of the carrier bag. She barks again, probably recognizing his scent. "What are you doing here?" He asks curiously, tilting his head to the side. 

Hanbin shrugs. "Visiting my friend? So, can we come in?" He gives him another million dollar smile that nobody has ever denied before. 

He confirms that it also includes Bobby because he's scratching his neck as he opens the door widely, finally letting him in but with more questions running in his head. 

Honey jumps to the floor and lands on her face as soon as he unzips the bag, running towards Bobby and demanding to be picked up. The older hesitantly did so, obviously uncomfortable but Hanbin wasn't even looking at him to realize that. His eyes are roaming everywhere else but him. It's the first time he's seeing Bobby's house sober. It was nice and simple. 

"So, uh, what are you really doing here?"

Hanbin turns his eyes away from the framed portrait of Bobby's family in one of the walls with a few knock off masterpieces to face Bobby. "There's a renovation happening in front of my house and I was working on the midterm exams. Honey can't sleep too, she's very sensitive to noises."

Bobby raises an eyebrow suspiciously. "And… you're here why?"

"Hyung, ah, you're so silly!" He giggles. "Ever heard of a true, true friend is a friend in need?" 

"Never."

"Not my fault." He shrugs, flopping down on his couch. He taps it once or twice. It's not too hard and not too soft, just right for sitting. The color was very soothing to the eyes too. Seafoam green. 

"Where are your things? I mean, you're here because you don't want to be disturbed right?" 

"I was hoping I could borrow your laptop. You're done with the exams right?" 

He's biting the inside of his cheeks when Bobby sighs, defeated, holding his dog who just peed on the floor. Well, what luck. 

"It's in my bedroom. Wait for me there. I'll clean this mess first." He carefully puts Honey down and heads to the kitchen, probably to get a mop.

Hanbin narrows his eyes. _Just like that?_ He's disappointed that Bobby's not mad. Not even a complaint. Maybe he does want to be his friend. 

He stares at the door of Bobby's bedroom, one he still remembers full well. He doesn't move and follow what he said until Bobby was back with gloves and a dry cloth. "What are you still doing here? It's fine, go." He smiles at him, it's genuine and Hanbin suddenly feels the urge to hide.

"Can I–" He gestures at Honey, not knowing how to say it after all the things he had shamelessly asked. 

"Yeah, you can let her in. Just… I think not on the bed?" 

He nods almost submissively, silent when he picks Honey up and the carrier. He looks back at him once again before he opens the door to his room. Bobby's bent over on the floor, wiping dog piss with a serious expression. 

He feels a little guilty. 

"Wow. This smells just like you when you were drunk." Bobby covers his nose with his other hand. 

Hanbin rolls his eyes. Nevermind. He makes a face and slams the door shut like he owns the house. 

///////

The first thing Hanbin noticed once he was inside—that he never paid attention to before—was the vanilla-scented air purifier in the cold room where Bobby rests. It was refreshing, and not the typical kind where it causes dizziness. The walls were ivory-colored and the furnitures were brown. There's a mini bookshelf installed beside where the television was, something that wasn't there before. He's got a handful of collections, as expected. Bobby has a king-sized bed, four pairs of pillows with teal and purple pillowcases. He snorts as he stares at his blanket, one that looks like a page from his favorite book, with running words until the very end. He was sure it was something he saw in Pinterest called book blanket. He never thought Bobby would own one. 

The second thing Hanbin had noticed was the fact that his laptop doesn't have a password. He didn't bother to bring his own because it was too heavy. He takes it with him to work every school day and he always ends up with a shoulder pain. He should've listened to his mother when she told him to invest in thin laptops. Like the one he's holding right now. He was staring at a blank word document, suddenly remembering he brought his flash drive in his pocket and fishing for it. He's halfway done with the 4th set of questionnaires. Hanbin teaches Physics to four sections, and because he's a proud asshat who likes seeing people suffer, he made sure to make different questionnaires for all four of them. His excuse was that it's to avoid leaking answers from section to section. He doesn't see it as a difficult task though, it takes his mind off things. Weirdly, he likes making test papers more than checking them. He gets sad when his students get a low grade and he's supposed to give them another quiz for compensation, and then a remedial. As much as possible, he makes the questions easy. If it cannot be helped, he allows a formula cheat written on an index card and stapled just above their answer sheet. He checks it one by one to see if there was anything unnecessary written, like _"Mr. Kim sucks"_ for example. Luckily, there's nothing yet. 

The third thing Hanbin had noticed was Honey's sudden calmness in the corner of the room, already cozying up her carrier and blinking lazily. After the accident, before he was able to rescue her, Honey doesn't easily trust people. He figures it was because her former owner—that he wasn't able to talk to—didn't really care about her. When he found her, she was thin and bleeding and Hanbin had to wrap her around a blanket while hailing a cab out of panic, crying on their way to the vet. He won't ever forget that day. 

The door reveals Bobby wearing new pajama pants, a plaid one with red and dark blue colors. He immediately sees Honey sleeping in the corner and proceeds to take lighter steps, sitting on the bed. He was aware enough to sit on the swivel chair beside it. 

Hanbin breaks the silence by telling him, "Nice blanket."

Bobby unconsciously stares at the crumpled blanket where he settled himself in. It was almost 8pm and Hanbin doesn't really know if his sleeping schedule overlaps with him being there. He hopes he's not planning to sleep yet.

"It's a birthday gift." Bobby answers, Hanbin nods. 

"Cool."

"I don't usually use it but my other blanket was in the laundry because you soiled it up. Not that I'm blaming you." 

"Sorry about that." 

"It's a Jane Austen medley. It doesn't really make sense, I tried to read it once when I couldn't sleep." He adds. 

"Okay."

"See, if you look right here…" He points at the top left of the blanket. "It's the opening line of Pride & Prejudice. But if you look here." His finger stops at the middle. "It's the fourth letter in Lady Susan. It doesn't really—"

"Hyung." He cuts him off.

Bobby looks up at him like a deer caught in the headlights, wide curious eyes. "Yes?"

"I'm trying to finish my questionnaires, remember?" 

"Oh, yeah, right? Yeah, sorry." Bobby stops talking. Hanbin gives him a _friendly_ smile and continues typing. He's almost done anyway. He's just checking for corrections. 

"One last thing before I really shut up." Hanbin holds his breath, trying his best not to get annoyed when Bobby speaks again. 

"Yes, hyung?"

"I haven't had anyone over since the party. It's nice that you're here." Bobby averts his gaze, fidgeting on the hem of the blanket. 

Hanbin finds himself smiling, genuinely this time. He saves his work and ejects his drive. "Really? Not even Jaewon hyung?" 

Bobby shrugs. "He lives next door but he's rarely home when it's not a school night for him. It gets loud on Saturday mornings though. But you're here at night so it doesn't really matter, right?" 

He nods, watching the laptop show a shutting down screen and then closing it carefully when it's pitch black. He places it on the desk where he found it. Then he turns the swivel chair to face Bobby. "Okay, I'm done. You can talk to me all you want." 

"Are you going to go home?" He was a little taken aback when Bobby asked that. He thought he'd straight up tell him to leave but here he was, sounding like he enjoys his sudden company and wants him to stay with him longer. 

"Depends." He shrugs, teasing. 

"On what?" 

"If you let me lay on your bed." His tone was challenging, cocking a brow and one minute, he's sure Bobby would curse him. But the next, his mouth was gaping. 

The other scoots to the side and says, "What are you waiting for?" 

///////

Lying beside Bobby, on his bed, in the cold, with the vanilla-scented air freshener looming over them, while both their heads are propped on a pillow, wasn't as awkward as he expected it to be. Bobby wasn't saying things to make it so. Hanbin likewise. There's a cartoon show he wasn't familiar of playing on the television as if acting as a white noise before any of them opens a topic. 

"Honey seems to like you." He's the one to do it again. 

Bobby hums. "Weird. Dogs usually hate me. I think they smell fear." He snorts. 

"What do you mean usually?" 

"Well, they like barking at me." Bobby shrugs, and then he leans closer and points at his forehead, lowering down to the scar between his eyebrow. Hanbin's breath hitches, he gulps. 

"What?" 

"I got it when I was young. I was playing with my aunt's puppy, and you know how puppies nails are. They're very sharp. One got stuck in here and I panicked so it left a scar. Probably the first time I saw so much blood. First of many. I got so many scars, man." He laughs. 

Hanbin couldn't find it in himself to laugh with Bobby that close to him. When he leans back, he sighs and then laughs too, a little too late. "Got her on the same day as my birthday." He diverts. "She's not comfortable with strangers but look at her sleeping peacefully in your room." 

Bobby looks. Hanbin looks too to avoid staring at his side profile. "Well, she's cute. She can stay." 

He rolls his eyes for no apparent reason and Bobby chuckles. He realizes it's the first time they're talking to each other without the out-of-place aggression, and on Bobby's bed too at that. Somehow, it feels nice. Contrary to what his wicked mind has been telling him, Bobby doesn't make him feel insecure at all. They took a big leap from their previous state and now here they are. 

Bobby folds his arms behind his head. Hanbin unconsciously stares at his biceps. He starts wondering how good Bobby would look with a sleeve tattoo, or if he has any at all in other places. He keeps on staring until Bobby's voice cuts off his thoughts. 

"Hanbin, what's your favorite book?"

"Huh?" 

"Favorite book." 

He takes a moment to think. When was the last time he read anything anyway? Then Bobby chuckles. He stops thinking to look at him with questioning eyes. 

"Actually, you wrote your favorite book in Donghyuk's teacher slam book and I wanted to confirm if it was really it." 

"Really? What did I write?" Hanbin barely remembers everything he wrote in there. 

"You wrote The Great Gatsby." Bobby's face crumples, as if saying the book's title is a taint against his lips. Hanbin laughs. 

"Confession: I haven't even read that book." The older's expression changes, as if offended. Hanbin just shrugs. 

"What?"

"Someone told me Andrew Garfield was in the movie so I was like, yeah that book's phenomenal." 

Bobby turns his head. "I've watched the movie and I'm telling you, Andrew Garfield wasn't there." 

Hanbin squints at him. "Well, they said Spiderman was there."

And then Bobby was now laughing at him, holding his stomach because he couldn't stop. "Spiderman as in Tobey Maguire!"

Hanbin blushes, feeling stupid. He hits Bobby's chest and glares at him. He stops after a minute, wiping his eyes with imaginary tears of joy. 

"Why are you asking me this anyway?" 

"I realized something." He starts. "And I wanted your opinion about it. But since you haven't read it nor watched it, I guess you're useless." 

Hanbin crosses his arms, and then he rolls to his side, cheek squished on his arm, staring straight at Bobby's eyes. They seem to be too comfortable with each other right now. He's not complaining though. "Then tell me the story."

Bobby snorts. "What?" 

"Just a quick summary or something. Enough for me to get your point and share my opinion since you can't live without my galaxy brain." 

He watches as the older averts his eyes to the ceiling, tracing the lines of his jaw with gazes full of admiration. He looks good tonight. He always looks good. He stares at his lips when he opens them to speak and he wants to interrupt him mid-sentence and kiss him. He stares at the pillow beside him instead. 

"There's like three main guys in the story. It's this girl Daisy, then Nick, and then Gatsby."

"A threesome?" 

"In the 1920s? Definitely not."

"Hey, history is more lewd than you think."

"Okay, Fitz." 

He was about to bite back but Bobby beats him by holding his pointer finger up to stop him from interrupting. "So Gatsby was in love with Daisy. They began this affair but she left him later on. I think it's because he's poor. Then after a few years he became this rich dude who throws a lot of lavish parties. Nick lives beside his mansion. He sees him staring into this green light which is situated in a dock where Daisy lived. He received an invitation to one of his parties. When he was there, he realized that the people in the mansion weren't really invited and they haven't really met Gatsby—"

"Wait." Hanbin sits up, as if recalling something. He looks back at Bobby whose mouth was hanging open from being cut off and he reaches over to close it. The older pushes his hand away lightly and Hanbin giggles, throwing his back down the bed again. Bobby rolls to his side, not talking. Hanbin copies him. They're face to face now. "I think I remember reading a summary of the book some time ago." 

Bobby covers his mouth when he yawns. Instinctively, Hanbin yawns too. 

"Tell me what you wanted to say before." He really remembers now. He read it when he saw it in Bobby's lesson plan. Just to feel like he's ahead. 

Bobby seems to think for a second. Then he says, "Well, I think Gatsby never really loved Daisy." 

"You mean, Daisy never really loved Gatsby. She didn't even show up to his funeral." 

"That. But in Daisy's case, who knows what Tom did to her, right?" 

"So… you're telling me Gatsby threw all those parties for nothing?" 

"No. Not nothing. He did that to get her attention. Okay, some critics say he did love Daisy because she was a metaphor for power and money, just like the green light. But I think he never did. He was just fascinated at her because she's something he could never have, and he tried, but even then he kept yearning." 

Hanbin hums in understanding. "You know, I get it. Sometimes we do all these things for people because we think they're worth it. But we don't really see past them because of the fact that they're unattainable. Even when we do manage to 'attain' them, something still feels missing. Do I make sense? I feel like I'm rambling. Whatever." 

Bobby has his eyes closed but he's nodding. "Yeah, some of what you said went over my head though." He mumbles. Hanbin flicks his forehead lightly. 

"Are you going home now?"

"Not yet. I'll wait for you to fall asleep." Bobby seems to like his answer. He's smiling with his eyes closed. 

"Do you want me to drive you home?" 

"No. I'll call a cab." 

"Why? I might get worried."

"No. You'll be asleep. And I'll get worried if you do 'cause then you'd have to drive sleepy."

Bobby snorts. "Touché."

He watches the rise and fall of his side, breathing warmly through his nose. He wants to trace it with his finger but he keeps his hand to himself. Why was he so mad at Bobby? Was he really that insecure to deprive him of his friendship? 

He remembers catching him sneak a coffee on his desk. Back when he was a newbie. He doesn't drink coffee. Bobby wasn't looking when he took a sip. He gave it to Jinhwan afterwards. It made his stomach ache but he was glad he did so. He remembers keeping his earlier notes in the past too. It was stashed safely in his drawer in the faculty room. It says: _Welcome to the Faculty, Mr. Kim!_

"What's your green light, Hanbin?" Bobby mumbles through his sleep, barely even audible. 

He doesn't answer him out loud. But he was sure if he was required to do so, he'll say, _"You."_

Someone he would yearn for, even though he's unattainable. But this time, it'll be worth it. 

Honey's trying to stand up and reach the bed when he snaps back to reality. She's awake. Bobby's asleep. It was time to go. He heads to the corner where her carrier was placed and puts the dog back in there, zipping the body enough to show her head. 

Bobby's phone vibrates on the bedside table. Hanbin curiously takes a peek. 

He supposes it was an outdated calendar reminder. 

_Happy anniversary to Junhoe and I!_

He's been holding onto him for officially two years now. 


	11. Bobby, and certainties, and the porch swing

It was Bobby's turn to visit Hanbin. 

He felt like it was the right thing to do considering all the _ruckus_ he caused yesterday. He has to admit he enjoyed having him around, that's what he didn't expect the most. But he partly blames it on his loneliness. It was his first time being away with Junhoe whenever an outdated alarm reminds him of anything significant that happened when they were in a relationship. And it sucks big time that he's still affected.

He was supposed to reset it to default way, way before but he always found the perfect excuse not to do so. Like not wanting to clear his school schedule for example. But when he woke up that morning, after remembering talking to Hanbin, and sleeping beside him, the first thing he saw when he checked his phone was the anniversary alarm. He deleted it an instant, including everything else that may remind him of him. He realized he should've done it before, or right after when they broke up but like how he endured living with Junhoe and Donghyuk, he clung onto the reminders of how much he loved him, how he treasured their moments, basically every shit they did. It's all gone now, though. He hopes his brain will cooperate and not remember the dates itself. 

Imagine finally moving on only after two years. That's almost longer than the years they spent together as a couple. They went to the same college. He fell in love with him when Junhoe was a freshman and he was a senior. They dated and only made it official when he graduated. It was easy for Bobby to get a job instantly, thanks to some referrals from his past professors. Junhoe broke up with him a month before their 2nd year anniversary. And a month later, he met Donghyuk. He doesn't know how or where. He didn't really question it enough. Then he helped Donghyuk—as per Junhoe's request—get into the high school where he teaches and now they're co-workers. 

Hanbin had left his number on his bedside table and Bobby was smiling when he saved it in his contacts. He couldn't believe they really got along just like that. It was so nice to finally talk to him casually, without having to snarl or to think of another insult that he always regrets soon after. If he was only brave enough to approach him before, when he first joined the faculty, they would've been friends immediately. But he supposes this was how it was meant to play out. 

The text from Hanbin says the renovation stops during Sundays and so he wouldn't be able to pester him tonight. For reasons unknown, Bobby wonders what kind of excuse Hanbin has to say if the renovation didn't come to a halt. His questionnaires for the exams were done, and he rarely checks papers at home. He knows this for a fact because part of Hanbin's work ethic was to check right after quizzes and exams. He gives his students 45 minutes to answer his tests and the rest will be for checking. It was also the reason why some students call him strict. But he knows despite that, Hanbin never gives bad grades. He's keen to compensate. 

Anyway, since Hanbin doesn't seem to have the excuse now, Bobby thought it was the perfect time for him to be the one to have an excuse. And so he gathers his student's essays about the latest Frankenstein chapters he gave them before the weekends and puts them in a folder. 

He just got out of the shower, drying his hair. He contemplates about sending Hanbin a text that he'll visit tonight but remembers that it defeats the purpose of surprising him so he decides against it. His doorbell rings and he scrambles to get dressed, shouting, _"Wait a minute!"_ even though he wouldn't be heard outside. 

When he looked at the monitor, Jaewon was waving at him. He opens the door and gives him a welcoming smile. "Are you going to come in?" 

Jaewon shakes his head, "No, this will be fast." 

He chuckles, "Okay, what is it?"

"Well, you probably heard us rehearsing all morning yesterday…"

"Yeah, my sleep got interrupted." He teases, Jaewon just shrugs, teasing back. 

"So I was hoping, as a compensation, I'd invite you to our gig tonight. It's for free and I'll even ask them to play a song of your choice." The older beams at him. 

Bobby has a hard time rejecting people. Looking at Jaewon beaming at him proudly like he knows he would say yes is already making him guilty. To be honest, watching a gig before a school night sounds fun. It would bring back his college memories… which somehow also includes Junhoe, a music major. But right then, that was the least of his concerns. Because for the first time, he was thinking about something else, someone else. 

"What do you say?" Jaewon wiggles his eyebrows. 

Bobby sighs, running a tongue on his bottom lip. He promises himself not to dwell on it too much. He says, "I actually have somewhere else to go tonight. Sorry" He pouts. 

"Really? That's fine. That's very fine." The older laughs and assures him he'll invite him some other time. Bobby tells him he won't miss it for sure. 

Choosing Hanbin seems to come easy for him as of the moment. 

///////

Bobby was anxious on his way to Hanbin's house. He remembers riding the bus back then when he first came to see him and he had memorized his way as to not get lost next time. He wasn't really expecting a next time, but look at him now. His car has to be parked just a few miles away from Hanbin's red-bricked house. He figures he wasn't allowed to drive further because of the road work. The guard assures him nobody will steal his car, and that all the people who live in the neighboring houses have their car parked in there too for easier access. Bobby nods and thanks him. He retrieves his folder and walks the remaining distance from the car park to Hanbin's white picket fence. 

The solar-powered lamp posts light up as soon as he pushes the fence. He notices that the grass on his lawn was freshly mowed, and the floorboard of his porch now has a welcoming mat. There's a hanging wooden swing just beside his door. He wonders what he'll do if Hanbin wasn't home, or worse, if he has someone over. That'll be awkward as hell. 

He presses the doorbell almost immediately, just to get it over with. There was no answer. He sits on the porch swing, nervous when it creaks but figures it could carry his weight else it wouldn't have been hanging there. Or maybe it was one of Hanbin's useless house decors. He decides to text him to open his door. A minute after he hits send, the door opens abruptly, revealing Hanbin in a loose shirt and a blanket wrapped around his waist. Bobby stands up. He sees Honey in the middle of his ankles, running outside to greet him. He crouches down to pet her head. 

"Hyung, what are you doing here?" Hanbin asks, surprise evident in his voice and that makes Bobby smile, looking up at him. 

"Well, the apartment building was doing some renovation." He teases. Hanbin rolls his eyes. Bobby laughs. "I wanted to pay you a visit too. But if you're not in the mood for visitors, I could go home immediately. My car's parked a few miles back. Just say the—"

"I'll change clothes first. Come in." 

Bobby doesn't add anything after that. He comes inside, carrying his little dog, watching as Hanbin heads upstairs and leaves them in the living room. It was all too familiar. 

He slept in here before. 

  
  
  
  


"Have you eaten?" It was the first time he had seen Hanbin's bedroom upstairs. The color of the walls was very calming and Hanbin admits that he specifically asked for it to be repainted that way because it lessens aggression and instills more focus. It's palladian blue and the curtains are white and gold. Hanbin claims that it helps him wake up early in the morning because the sun reflects on it perfectly. His room was immaculately bright. 

His bedsheets were also the same shade as his walls, a bit darker. He doesn't have a television in his room. When he asked why, he said it distracts him. What he does have is an aquarium, with fake corals and a bunch of rocks at the bottom. There wasn't any fish though. He doesn't question it. 

"Yes, I have. Have you?" They were both sitting on the bed like they were two awkward group mates in high school doing a project. 

Hanbin nods. "I can't believe you really brought one of your folders in here." He snorts. 

Bobby stares at the papers on his hand. He's got five essays left to read. He's not sure if he could finish them tonight though. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

"I wanted to get even." He shrugs. 

"Wow. You're so competitive." Hanbin deadpans. 

"If I say I wanted to see you, you would blush." 

"Wow. You're so flirty." But Hanbin did blush. Bobby pretends he doesn't see it. He looks away, but he doesn't hide his smile.

"Anyway, since you're so busy and you seem to still have a lot of work to do. I'll just be on my phone. Talk to me when you're done, or whatever." The side of the bed dips and Hanbin's beside him lying on his stomach, holding his phone up to his face. Bobby focuses on reading the essays, holding his blue ballpen loosely. He doesn't use a red ballpen to check or correct. He says it's a sore to look at and students don't really like seeing red all over their papers. It makes them feel like a failure. That's the last thing Bobby wants. He makes his student write in English when it comes to book reviews though, so the papers are filled with blue marks regardless. 

He's checking the last essay when Hanbin peers at his handwriting on top of the page. Bobby watches his eyes narrow, as if he was curious what his writing meant. 

"What's an Oxford comma?" He finally asks. 

"It's a type of comma." He answers. Hanbin squints his eyes at him, scoffing. Bobby grins. 

"I obviously didn't think it would be a type of comma. Wow." He says sarcastically. "How do you use it? Like, give me a sentence example." 

Bobby thinks for a second. His eyes land on Honey in his little bed and then back onto Hanbin. "Okay, so it's like the last comma in a list. It's actually optional but there are times when it gets confusing when you don't use one so when the rule applies, I ask my students to not forget it. For example, when I write: Hanbin, Honey and I are going for a walk, it would seem like I was asking for your permission. But when it's: Hanbin, Honey, and I are going for a walk, it would mean that we're all going for a walk and it's more clear."

"But wouldn't you already know that based on the tone of voice?" 

"Well, you don't really speak in essays, right? And it's all based on context clues. If what I meant was for all three of us to go on a walk, and it's evident with how, before that, I wrote: It's been so long since we all went outside together, however, I used the first example, wouldn't it make sense for me to use the Oxford comma?" 

Hanbin seems to accept his explanation, although he doesn't look very amused. "But _why_ do you need to use it? Like who gives a fuck?"

Right then, Bobby really wanted to roll his eyes. Who gives a fuck? He does! He keeps his calm because he wasn't in his own house. He tells him, "I suppose it's for clarity. To avoid confusion. You know, some people want certainty. I do." 

The younger stares at him for a minute, he stares back. He wants to ask what he wants but before he could, Hanbin rolls over and sits up. He fixes his hair. "So are you done?" 

"I'm done."

They don't talk for a while. Bobby takes his time putting the papers back in his folder. Hanbin was watching him closely. He feels conscious. 

"Hey." The younger calls. He thinks he's about to send him home. He doesn't want to go home. 

"Hmm?" 

"You were sitting on my porch swing just awhile ago." 

"Was it not allowed?" 

Hanbin shakes his head. "It has a nice view of the stars. Do you want to talk there?" 

"Um… about what?" 

"Just anything." Hanbin stands up, Bobby bites his lip. He's so nervous he can feel his back sweating. The younger gets a blanket. "Let's go?" 

"Yeah, that'll be nice." He smiles and follows him out. 

///////

Hanbin said they were going to talk, but the younger was silent. Bobby tried to revel in it but something was bothering him and he really wants to talk.

"Hanbin, why did you hate me?" He wasn't able to stop himself when his mouth opened to ask. They're sitting beside each other on the porch swing, which can fortunately carry both of their weights. His anxiousness over if it would soon give vanished when Hanbin forced them to swing a little. 

Hanbin lifts the blanket that covers both of their bodies up to his mouth. His chin is propped on his knees, Bobby has his legs dangling on the floorboards, acting like a stopper. 

"What do you mean did? I still hate you." He snorts at that. He knows he's lying. The Hanbin who hates him would never sit beside him, won't even let him in his house again, certainly not on his bed too. 

"Liar." He mumbles. 

Hanbin was right about the stars being visible from their view. The sky looks like an even bigger blanket, wrapped around his lawn. The moon watches them from above, as if it knows they were trying to fix whatever happened in the past. At least he was. He hugs himself through the cold. Hanbin scoots closer. The swing creaks. He tries to remember how to breathe. 

"You wrote before that you dislike me." He can practically feel Hanbin rolling his eyes. 

"When will you let go of that? I forgot about it." Hanbin replies. 

"It bothered me."

"Sorry."

"No, sorry."

Hanbin sighs, defeated. He opens his mouth to speak but then closes it again. He sighs once more. "I was insecure, okay? You're so damn perfect." 

Bobby never really expected the reason to be like this. He thought it would be because he was arrogant, too much for his liking. Or because he said something stupid that Hanbin didn't find funny. Certainly not about insecurities. 

"But I'm not perfect?" 

"Says the Fairfax Prodigy." Bobby's mouth falls agape.

"What–how do you know that?" 

Hanbin makes a face. "Obviously, I stalked you before." 

"Hanbin, did you watch the YouTube interview?" He couldn't believe it. That was a part of his past that he never really talks about. He was too embarrassed. 

"Maybe." 

Bobby scoffs, half-laughing. "That whole thing was scripted, please!" 

"Now, you're lying."

"No. No." He chuckles. "They had this whole audition which specifically states they needed an Asian kid and my mother thought it would be a nice opportunity for me to get over my social anxiety or something." 

"What? That's exactly the opposite of how to overcome it. It's like dropping someone who doesn't know how to swim in the middle of the ocean and hoping they'd learn."

"Yeah, well, my mother didn't realize that until I came home crying after the interview. Anyway, there were scripts everywhere out of camera that I had to read because I had a hard time memorizing."

"So you're telling me you didn't say all that bullshit about being a learner and doing something to contribute to the world?"

"Okay, that one was me. But everything else is just in the script. I had to learn how to solve the rubik's cube in 3 hours, I was so stressed. At the end of it, I felt like a circus animal. I told my Mom about it and she felt sorry. We never talked about it ever again. I thought the footage was gone but one of my college school mates found out about it and tagged me." 

Bobby leans his head on the cushion of the swing. He thinks about the exact day when the video resurfaces, looking at young Jiwon who was very evidently anxious. He saw it with the way his finger tapped on his lap, how he unconsciously peeled on the skin of his lips but just enough not to make it bleed. He remembers messaging the person who uploaded it and asking for it to be deleted. He remembers being told he was taking the fun out of it. He never tried asking again. He just let it be. And now he learns that Hanbin had watched it. It's why he hated him. 

"I'm sorry you have to experience that." Hanbin mumbles. He can sense that he's guilty. "I'm sorry I watched it too. And that I brought it up now."

Bobby releases a deep breath, he scrubs his face with his palm. "Hanbin, I'm not perfect, okay? I had to learn too. I was bad at Maths. I can't even do multiplications without crying when I was a kid. I'm just… I guess I learn quickly." He laughs when Hanbin glares at him, thinking he was showing off. 

"You _are_ perfect to me. In a good way now." Hanbin slides down to rest his head on his lap. Bobby freezes at first, but his hand lands on his stomach, just on top of him, to keep him from falling. Hanbin feels warm. He lets it stay there when he doesn't push him away. 

He meets his eyes when he looks down. There's something about the way Hanbin stares back, like he regrets feeling the way he felt. But he's suddenly unapologetic with what he's doing now. "Why did you hate me?" The younger asks. 

"Because you hated me." He answers simply. 

"You don't hate me now?" His voice was small, he almost didn't catch it. 

"I don't." Bobby smiles. Hanbin smiles too. 

He's wondering what time is it when Hanbin catches him off guard and says, "Do you want to stay the night?" 

It was a school night. But Bobby thinks he's old enough not to worry about being early for school. So he replies with, "You want me to sleep with you?" lifting a brow.

Hanbin scrunches his nose, "Not sexually, of course." 

"Of course" He chuckles lightly. "And of course, I'll sleep with you." He realizes then that he never really forgot how to breathe. Time just seemed to stop when Hanbin was close.


	12. Hanbin, and groceries, and going together

Bobby was in his bed. 

When he had suggested they sleep together, he didn't really think about lying down beside each other in his own bed. Maybe his mind got too clouded. All he thought was that they'd both close their eyes, sleep, and nothing else. He realized it was an incredibly stupid thought. 

The whole suggestion of sleeping together was very questionable of him too. Bobby has no spare clothes. Hanbin doesn't have a bed as big as the one Bobby has in his room but he hoped it was enough for the both of them to fit. Chanwoo never stayed the night, ever. He never let him. 

"Should I just go home?" Bobby asks, looking down on the floor. He's seated on the edge of the bed and Hanbin's trying his best to find clothes that would fit the older, one that isn't too worn out from being overused. 

"If you want," he says passive-aggressively, not even looking back at him. He doesn't want him to go home. He wants to sleep with him. If it doesn't happen tonight, he thinks he'll explode. He hopes Bobby takes a hint. 

Bobby doesn't answer. He turns around to look at him and he's just stroking Honey's back as the dog lies on his lap, enjoying the free massage. Hanbin walks closer to them and hands him the set of clothes he had finally managed to find. "So, uh, are you gonna go home?" 

"You're really asking me that after giving me clothes to wear?" Bobby chuckles, shaking his head unbelievingly. "I guess I'll stay," he shrugs. 

Hanbin doesn't hide the smile on his face. He takes Honey away from him and nods to the direction of the bathroom, urging him to go and go faster. "There's a spare towel in there too." 

"What about you?" 

"What?" 

"Are you going to take a shower?" 

"Are you insinuating that we take a shower together?" Hanbin laughs when he sees the older's neck turning pink. Bobby blushes easily. He's glad it's because of him this time. "I already washed up before you came here. Now, go. I'll wait for you."

That was how he found himself face to face with Bobby in his bed. The latter's hair still a little wet, covering his forehead. A while ago, he was wearing his clothes. It did something in his heart, like a sudden flip. Bobby pretends he didn't see him too awestruck but Hanbin knows he was obviously gawking. He shifts in his bed and rolls on his side. He usually sleeps on his back, but if he does now, he'll feel Bobby's arm on his skin and he thinks it won't be good for him. So he's stuck staring at Bobby, who was also staring at him. 

"I've never had a sleepover before," Hanbin scoffs at what he said. Of all things, after the silence, this was his thought? 

"Don't call this a sleepover. You're pushing 30, please."

"Wait, no, I think I slept in Junhoe's parents' house before but I didn't really consider it a sleepover. What's a description of a sleepover anyway?" 

Hanbin rolls his eyes, "It's for kids to have fun. You're not a kid and you're not having fun. This is not a sleepover." 

"But I _am_ having fun." 

"Whatever," Hanbin concedes. It feels weird to argue with Bobby without having to end up shouting. 

"Last time I was here, you kicked me out." 

"That was because I regretted that I opened up with you and I panicked. But I let you in, didn't I?" Bobby nods slowly. 

"Junhoe didn't pick me up."

Hanbin sighs, "Can you stop talking about Junhoe?" He regrets snapping immediately, too, when he sees Bobby shocked. Maybe he didn't mean to talk about him. Maybe it wasn't on purpose. Eitherway, Hanbin was tired of hearing his name. Bobby should be tired of speaking it too.

"Sorry." 

"No, sorry," He counters. Then he shifts again, now turning his back on Bobby. He figures it's time to just sleep it off. 

"Good night, Hanbin," He greets. 

Hanbin only nods. But he says, "Hyung, I think it's time for you to stop wearing the dog tag too."

He always hated seeing the silver metal dangling on his neck wherever he goes. It's like some form of ownership. It reminds him of when he tried putting on collars for Honey so she wouldn't get lost. Except his dog didn't like it. 

If Bobby ever replied, he doesn't hear him anymore. 

//////

Two alarms went off that morning. Hanbin has never felt so irritated his whole life. But when he opened his eyes, the door to his bathroom was open too, the lights turned on. Honey was pacing and he saw Bobby's shadow from where he was lying. He sits up and wipes his eyes, checking the time on his phone. It was still dark outside. He set his alarm at 3AM. He couldn't believe Bobby does that too. 

"You're awake," the older peers from the bathroom door, already dressed back in yesterday's clothes. "Good morning." 

Hanbin only nods, still scrubbing his eyes. He suddenly feels conscious. He hikes the blanket up to his chest and rests his chin on his knees, watching Bobby come close. The older had probably already brushed his teeth. He makes a decision not to talk to him. 

"I need to go home," Bobby tells him. "I don't think you would want to be seen with me early in the morning at school," he chuckles lightly. 

Hanbin frowns. He pulls the blanket higher until it's covering his mouth. He says, "See you at school separately, then." 

He doesn't understand why Bobby would think that. Besides, it's not like anyone would _see_ them. They're the earliest ones to arrive in the faculty. It wouldn't be a big deal. Well, maybe to Yunhyeong when he finds out. Anyway, it's still dawn. Too early to think about what the fuck Bobby wants. 

He throws himself on the bed and pretends to sleep again. Bobby bids him goodbye, patting his head in two awkward taps. He opens one eye when he deems him far enough. He sees him kiss Honey's head before going out and closing the door to his bedroom. That was sweet. He stops pretending and buries his face in his pillow instead. God, he won't be able to stop thinking about that. 

  
  
  


"Why the hell is October so damn booked??" Yunhyeong was complaining the minute he stepped inside the faculty. His boyfriend, Jinhwan, was following him closely behind, walking to their desks together. 

"Thank God, it's your turn to hear his complaints now," Jinhwan rolls his eyes, Yunhyeong doesn't pay attention to him. He continues blabbing about the events in October that he appreciates, and those he does not. 

Hanbin wishes he'd shut up for a second because he's trying to fix his schedule for the next semester. He was supposed to stop by the director's office before classes starts to ask for some changes but he decided to check it for himself first in case he could make it work. 

"Field trip was just done. And then it's midterm week this week. And then foundation day. And then the Teachers' Retreat for next weekend, which I absolutely look forward to by the way. I love a good rest," he talks about the last TR where Bobby wasn't able to join because he was visiting his family in Virginia. He wonders if that would still be the case this year. 

He gets interrupted when Jaewon enters the room, smiling brightly at them. He pats Bobby's head as he sits beside him on his desk and Hanbin seems to be not the only one who noticed it. Yunhyeong _ooooh_ s. 

"You guys are _close_ close, huh?" He wiggles his eyebrows. Jinhwan elbows him. 

Jaewon chuckles and shrugs. Bobby doesn't dispute it but he says, "Is Mr. Congeniality jealous?" 

Yunhyeong acts offended, "Yeah, I kinda wanna have some ice cream date with my boyfriend right here," he points to Jinhwan. 

Hanbin turns his head to him. "What ice cream date?" He asks suddenly, unable to stop himself.

"Oh you know, just two boys eating ice cream together in the park. Nothing strange, nothing remarkable," Yunhyeong wiggles his eyebrows.

"Ah, why do you have to make it weird," Jaewon scratches his neck but smiles. He can see Bobby blush. He rolls his eyes, annoyed. 

Yunhyeong only giggles, but he leans in to whisper to him, so nobody could hear, "I thought Bobby was straight for the past three years but he seems suspiciously into Jaewon hyung these days. Not that it's my business."

He realizes then that only he and Donghyuk know about Junhoe being Bobby's ex. All they know was that he was Bobby's roommate until Donghyuk moved in. He wonders why he never told the faculty. Well, that's obviously not his business either.

  
  
  


Hanbin sees Bobby with a different kind of necklace that day. He remembers what happened last night, and how he practically ordered Bobby to stop wearing the dog tag and stop talking about Junhoe. Somehow, he looks more free without it, but he regrets telling him what to do. If it was another excuse to talk to him, he doesn't explicitly let his mind think that way. He matches his steps as they walk on the hallways on their way to their respective classrooms for that hour. 

"Hyung," he starts. Bobby looks at him and greets him with a smile. That was new. He usually has no reaction only for it to be followed with a scowl. Hanbin could get used to this. "Sorry about last night." 

"Wow, this seems familiar," Bobby teases. Hanbin rolls his eyes and jokingly pushes his arm. He hoped no one had seen them. If Yunhyeong did, he would've told everyone that they were having a fist fight. "What for?" 

"Because I told you not to wear something important to you and told you to stop talking about someone who used—still is important to you. I don't want you to think I'm controlling you now that we're...uh… friends. Anyway, you're also not obliged to do anything I ask you to do."

"Hey, it's okay. You're partly right," Bobby snorts. "Plus, I realized I always wear it on purpose. Like, everyday I think about whether I should or I shouldn't but I end up wearing it anyway. I just feel like I have to wear it. Whenever it's not on me, I sometimes find myself unconsciously searching for something hanging on my neck but a while ago, I didn't feel like something was missing. In fact, I only remembered I wasn't wearing it when you mentioned it," he scrunches his nose and directs his eyes elsewhere. "It's all good, really."

Hanbin wasn't about to argue with that. He just nods. They walked in silence until it was time for them to part. 

Bobby surprises him by asking, "How'd you do it, Hanbin?" 

He looks into his eyes and asks, "What?" 

"How'd you get over your ex that fast?" 

When he doesn't answer for a few seconds, Bobby tells him to forget about it, waving, and then walking away. 

How'd he get over so fast? He doesn't even think about Chanwoo anymore. He blocked all contacts with him and he doesn't ever want to see him again. 

He makes a decision not to tell Bobby that the love he felt for Junhoe isn't really the same as his love for Chanwoo. Not even the slightest. Not even close. And maybe if he admits it, he's never really been in love to the point where his life revolved around someone. Like how Bobby was. Is. He's never really been loved either, to the point where it would consume him. His relationship with Chanwoo was all sex and some affection. And even then, when they were doing it, he never felt comfortable like how you would with a lover. He never felt safe. 

How'd he get over so fast? There was nothing to get over with in the first place. 

///////

Midterms week came by like wind that he didn't even have the time to prepare for the annual Teachers' Retreat for the upcoming weekend. He's got nothing else to do, not even school works. He plans to make a stop to the convenience store to buy things to bring in the TR. 

Yunhyeong was explaining to everyone what's supposed to happen in the retreat house, especially to the newcomer, Jaewon, who was also required to attend unlike in the Field trip. Hanbin feels like Yunhyeong would be a good representative since he's almost always in the director's office anyway, tasked to lay out information to his co-teachers. 

"The whole faculty teachers are invited so that means it's not just us but also the teachers in the faculty beside us, and in the first and third floor. But the house will be divided with rooms so I guess we'll just have one roommate each. I got that covered by the way," Yunhyeong winks. 

"Tell us!" Donghyuk nudges. And everyone else follows. Hanbin was sure the couple was paired up of course. 

"Oh you know, it's just the usual," Yunhyeong shrugs. Well, that means he's rooming with Donghyuk. "But I made sure Bobby and Jaewon hyung share a room." 

He received an elbowing from him again, "You're welcome, by the way. It was supposed to be you and Bobby but Jinhwan told me to stop pairing you two because you already have a boyfriend." 

"We already broke up," he replies. But he really wants to strangle him right now. Imagine if it was Bobby and him in the same room. He averts his gaze to avoid glaring. 

"Oh shoot. Sorry," Yunhyeong apologizes. "Anyway," he continues as if nothing happened. Hanbin does roll his eyes at that. "It's going to be so fun. Jaewon hyung, you'll enjoy it. It's got team building, you know all that stuff idiots do. I cannot wait to be one," he squeals in delight which earns a laugh from the older. 

"Where's it being held at?" Bobby asks. 

"It's a surprise."

"Then how the hell are we going to get there?" 

Yunhyeong sighs in defeat, "Fine, I'll send the address in the gc or something."

They hear another excited squeal from Yunhyeong and Hanbin has lost count of how many times he had rolled his eyes in that hour alone. Thank God, it was already dismissal. 

  
  
  


Hanbin turns around when he hears someone call his name. It was Bobby, smiling at him with his eyes disappearing, already out of his neck tie with two buttons popped. He returns his smile. 

"Going straight home?" Bobby holds onto his arm, catching his breath. He was surprised that his first reaction was to let his hand stay there. If he was the Hanbin _before_ he would've already swatted it paired with a glare. But it was Bobby… and he looks good with sweat running down his forehead and God, he needs to get a grip. Since when was he this _infatuated?_

"I was about to head to the convenience store to buy some stuff for this weekend," he replies almost noncommittally, mind elsewhere. He'd rather die than admit where his mind went though. 

"Can I drive you there? I'll buy, uh, stuff too," Bobby laughs lightly, he stopped catching his breath now, and had already let go of his arm. Hanbin was so sure he left a mark. He'd be mad if he didn't. He hides his arm from behind. 

"Ooooh, you're getting me in your car already?" He teases. It was quite satisfying to watch the heat on his neck rise up to his cheeks. 

"Well, you're still here, aren't you?" Bobby teases back. And he sees that the older was just as satisfied watching him blush. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

///////

They were sharing a cart. Hanbin insisted they just carry separate baskets because he's not really planning to buy much but Bobby said it's to save space. Which doesn't really make sense but he doesn't complain anyway. 

"Why are you buying two travel-sized toothbrushes?" Hanbin asks curiously. He's been side-eyeing Bobby's toiletry choices since he opted for the 1-ply toilet paper—which only psychopaths use—instead of the 2-ply one like a normal person. His excuse was that he doesn't use them for his ass but for his mouth, which, if Hanbin wasn't blushing at the mere mention of his ass, he would've still told him it didn't make sense. Anyway, why was he blushing so much lately? 

"For when the other one falls into the loo," Bobby replies casually, like it happened before. 

"Who the fuck drops toothbrush in the loo?" Hanbin thinks he probably sounds more frustrated that he intends to. 

Bobby stops pushing the cart and stares at him for a second before shrugging, "Just someone." 

Hanbin realizes it was Junhoe. He snorts. What a dumbass. He bites the inside of his cheeks when he comes to a conclusion that Bobby tried to avoid saying his name. So another win. 

"Do we buy snacks or do we trust whatever food they got us there?" Bobby tells him as he picks up two different flavors of Pringles. Hanbin takes the green one and just nods. 

"You never know for midnight," he winks. Bobby seems to agree, he throws the orange one in the cart and continues pushing. 

"So, what are your thoughts about Jaewon hyung being your roommate?" 

"Should've been you," Bobby winks back. Hanbin gasps exaggeratedly, slapping him in the chest playfully. 

He says, "You can't say that." 

"Why not?" Bobby pouts. 

"Because it's bad for my heart!" He clutches at his heart dramatically and Bobby shakes his head. 

"Do we need anything else?" He checks the contents of the cart and waits for Bobby to say something too. For some reason, every time Bobby says _we,_ his brain stops functioning. It gets annoying because he knows Bobby's waiting for him to answer. They just keep on waiting for each other. 

"Oh, would you look at that," he points at the packets of condom on the counter. "It seems like you and Mr. Newbie boyband member could use some," he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. 

Bobby stares at the packet and then back at him, squinting with his nose scrunched, he takes one and throws it in the cart. Hanbin's mouth drops. "Thank you for the suggestion, I'll be sure to keep that in mind." 

He rolls his eyes and retrieves the packet to put it back where it was before. Bobby raises his eyebrow. "Hyung, you're so annoying," he deflects. Bobby only laughs. 

They fought when it was turn to pay, but ended up splitting the bill. Bobby made a decision to pack the things they bought in one bag before Hanbin could even separate his stuff and he didn't have time to ask why. He just went with it. He guesses he'd do whatever Bobby wants. 

He was carrying _their_ grocery bag as he waited for him outside the store, driving out of the parking lot and stopping in front of him. The older gets out and takes the bag off his hand to put it in the trunk. 

"Shall I open the door for you, My Lord?" Bobby jokes, earning a glare and a finger. He opens the door himself. He can hear Bobby's laugh from outside and as he was seated beside him. 

Bobby tells him he's going to drop him to his house and Hanbin agrees silently, wallowing in the strong scent of Bobby around him, in the car, on his side. It's basically everywhere. Somehow, even on his cardigan too.

"I want to ask you something," he faces him when they stop at a red light. Hanbin hums, staring back. "Anyway, if you don't want to it's very fine so don't think I'd get mad if you reject me or whate—"

"Hyung," he interrupts, rolling his eyes. "What is it?" 

"Do you want to go together?" 

Hanbin furrows his brows, "Huh?" 

"To the retreat house… shall we go together?" Bobby repeats. 

"Like together, like let's drive there together, like me in your car?" 

There's a smile that forms in Bobby's lips when he nods, "Yeah, like that." 

"They'd have so many questions," Hanbin mumbles warily.

"I can come up with so many excuses," Bobby counters reassuringly. 

Hanbin thinks he's really got nothing to lose. He bites on his lip and says, "I guess I would love to go together." 

He fights the urge to look for Bobby's reaction but fails. He sees him smiling from ear to ear, and then trying to stop that smile by pursing his lips. Bobby fails miserably too, because then he's laughing in delight as he drives again. 


	13. Bobby, and the treasure, and Hanbin's lips

To say that Bobby was excited is an understatement. He's already outside Hanbin's house—the road renovation already done—early in the morning. To his relief, the younger was dressed and ready too, when he opened the door. 

"The surprise better be fucking worth it," Hanbin was rolling his eyes as he locks the door. Hiding the key under a potted plant just beside the welcome mat. He makes him carry his bags and Bobby does so without complaints. Yunhyeong was raving about the surprise in the teachers' group chat last night and was requiring everyone to answer his polls about the food. It was too bothersome that he was sure none of them had a real sleep. 

"You look nice," he tells him. Hanbin was only wearing casual pants and grey tank top paired with a blue unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt. He takes his bag from him as they walk to where he was parked. 

"You look nicer," Hanbin smiles at him and then looks down. 

They were inside his car once again when he asks about Honey. He didn't see the dog when Hanbin came out so he was curious. "I thought you were supposed to take her with you." 

Hanbin shrugs, "I don't even take her to work."

Bobby nods, unable to say anything back. Well, he has a point. He was just wondering what's going to happen to the dog when she's alone. 

As if Hanbin had read his mind, he says, "Anyway, there's this neighbor of mine that has lots of dogs and whenever I can't take her with me, I ring their landline or leave them a note so that they can pick her up. Had to pay them afterwards." 

The car was swallowed by silence again as none of them was starting anything. Bobby turns on the radio in hopes of saving the awkwardness and focuses on the road. He's not about to ruin the peace between them now. Hanbin doesn't seem to be in the mood to talk either. 

The retreat house the faculty had rented was situated on the other side of the city, a 2-hour drive from where they were at. Yunhyeong actually suggested that they should all take the school bus, which gained a lot of protests because they're not the only set of teachers to attend. The suggestion was thrown away to the trash in seconds. They come to an agreement to just be there on time. He guesses there was some sort of competition between the other faculties and Yunhyeong wants _theirs_ to always win. Anyway, when it comes to punctuality, no one can beat Hanbin and him. It's not really a problem. 

"Are you mad at me?" His head almost snaps when he turns it to face Hanbin, watching his expression, and then back on the road. 

"Excuse me?" He couldn't believe it. 

"You seem mad," Hanbin leans forward to rest his head on the compartment in front. 

"Why would I be mad at you? If anything, _you_ seem mad," Bobby alternates from looking at him and to the road.

"Why would I be mad?" 

"Because you're too quiet and I can't help but think you regret coming with me." 

Hanbin snorts, "Have you come up with an excuse as to why we're together?" 

Bobby scrunches his nose, "Let's see when we get there. I doubt they're gonna outdrive us though." 

"Cocky. I like it." 

He winks at him to top it. Hanbin laughs and asks him to change the song. 

"But if I ask you to drive slower, would you?" 

His forehead creases when he looks at him. "Uh, yeah. But why?" 

Hanbin shrugs, leaning back on his seat again. "Maybe I want to spend more time with you here."

Yunhyeong might have to wait for them a little longer now. He's stepping on the gas more lightly as a smile spreads across his face. Hanbin knows just the right words to say. 

///////

"You didn't meet Jaewon hyung on your way to my house? Like in the elevator or something?" Hanbin asks as he was eating takeouts.

"No. I think he was still asleep. Why do you ask about him?" 

Hanbin pretends to think of an excuse but he raises a brow at him. "Yunhyeong told me you're into him. I'm just curious." 

Bobby scoffs, "I'm not into Jaewon hyung. He's nice and I feel comfortable with him but he's not exactly my type." 

Hanbin narrows his eyes. "Doubt that." 

"You know what I think?" 

"What?" 

"I think Yunhyeong is the root cause of all our problems." 

Hanbin doesn't disagree at that though. 

His car has to be parked underground as they were in some kind of a resort. Before he drove all the way to the "retreat house", he searched on Google Maps where it could be and found out that it wasn't really the usual dormitory type rest house that they always go to. Although there was that exact house beside it. He supposes it was because it was the last TR for their current director so it was necessary to splurge and be all out. Eitherway, he's not really complaining. As a matter of fact, he thinks they deserve this. 

They carry each other's bags respectively as they enter the venue. It felt more like a high school reunion than a retreat and they were given matching polo shirts as soon as they were seated in their supposed tables. There are six faculties in total in their high school. Each one has their designated seat and colors based on the shirt. The paper on their table says they're Faculty No. 4 in a pink font, the same color as the polo shirt they were holding. Some faculty members from different floors were already there and as predicted, their table was empty except for the two of them. Dahyun waves at them from the other side of the court, wearing a purple polo shirt. They wave back and smile. 

"Looks like we got no explaining to do," Hanbin leans to whisper in his ear. It was getting noisy as the teachers came one by one. 

Bobby covers the side of his mouth when he whispers back. "Guess we'll just have to say we arrived separately."

Hanbin copies him and covers his mouth too, Bobby giggles as he comes closer. "That was your initial plan, isn't it?" 

His eyes widen and he shakes his head immediately, leaning down. "I was gonna say I asked you to accompany me in case I get lost."

Hanbin laughs, "That's the worst excuse ever."

"What are you two lovebirds whispering about?" They stop whispering back and forth when they see Yunhyeong and Jinhwan standing in front of them, putting their bags on the table and then sitting down. Hanbin shifts in his seat. Bobby clears his throat, coughing in the process. 

"We were gossiping about how late you are," Hanbin says. 

"Yunhyeong was memorizing his shit in the van," Jinhwan rolls his eyes. 

"What shit?"

"I'm one of the hosts, baby," he winks. 

Bobby acts repulsed, which earns a glare. 

"He's the only boy rep," Jinhwan reveals. 

They make scandalous noises until Yunhyeong asks them to shut up. "Yunhyeong and girls. Wow, they have to be careful. No, wait, Jinhwan hyung has to be careful," he teases. 

"Nah, he loves my dick too much." They made another inappropriate sound which had Yunhyeong covering his ears. 

Jaewon greets them as he sits beside him, asking if he made them wait too long but he shakes his head and tells him Donghyuk's still out. 

"No, actually, we're complete now," Yunhyeong claims. "Donghyuk just texted me saying he couldn't go because something about Junhoe has come up, overlapping his schedule." 

Bobby's lips form a tight line as he listens. Last night, he received a text from Junhoe asking if he wants to see him perform at the battle of the bands in their university. Like usual. He never missed one thing Junhoe had asked him for. But this time, he said he couldn't go because he's got somewhere else to be, and only promised to watch the videos on Facebook if someone ever uploads. It felt strange to reject him in an instant. It felt more strange that he didn't regret it. 

"Since we're all present now, can you tell us the surprise you were raving about last night that almost cost us our sleep?" Hanbin asks.

Yunhyeong smiles giddily and hides his face behind his cue cards. Bobby laughs at him and Hanbin rolls his eyes. "Okay, so. The resort is actually just the venue for the program. When it's time to sleep, the teachers will have to be transported to the actual retreat house just beside us."

"What? That sucks!"

"Wait, let me finish," Yunhyeong gives him a stern look. "So, this is a spoiler but I'm sure the other reps are already briefing their faculties about this. The team building, as you may all know, will be disguised as a competition but the actual winner will be decided on whoever wins during the treasure hunt. The prize is a rest house of our own with three rooms max and a swimming pool???" He covers his mouth to stop a squeal. 

"That's easy. I'm very competitive," Hanbin crosses his arms with an eyebrow raised. 

"I hope so, because I do wanna relax after all this bullshit," Jinhwan comments.

"Wait, but with three rooms, one won't have a roommate," Yunyeong pouts and pretends to be sad. 

Bobby snorts, "You act like we won already." He receives handful glares from the others claiming he doesn't have an ounce of _team spirit._ He concedes by saying he's good at scavenger hunts. Jinhwan corrects him by saying it's a treasure hunt. 

"That would be me. Donghyuk dipped," Hanbin shrugs. 

"Are you fine being alone though?" 

"What am I, 12? Of course, I am!" 

Bobby almost tells him he'll be his roommate but he remembers he was supposed to room with Jaewon so he doesn't speak anymore. He just listens to whatever plan Yunhyeong has in mind. 

  
  
  
  


The representatives in front welcomed them in the opening speech. They talked about how this year's TR is going to be the director's farewell party as well so it's very important to just enjoy and let loose. Yunhyeong joked about missing the director and claiming he was the favorite and they had laughed their asses off thinking about the next pay he will have once the higher-ups change. 

By the end of it, they reveal that the games will be faculty against faculty and the points will be added by the end to be used for the treasure hunt, which was obviously a lie since Yunhyeong revealed a while ago that it wouldn't matter and they should just focus on finding the treasure. They didn't dwell on the specificities when mentioning the hunt but Bobby figures they will when it's time. 

"Do you have any idea what the treasure might be?" Jaewon asks him as they watch their director get on stage to officially start the program. 

"I bet it's just something sentimental about the director, but too mundane to be thought as a treasure," Bobby shrugs. 

"You weren't able to attend last year's, right?" 

Bobby nods, "Family stuff." 

"Last, last year then, was there a treasure hunt too?" 

"It was different every year. We hiked and made campfires. I got bitten by a bug too," They both laugh, which gets the attention of the teachers on the other tables. Bobby bows in apology. 

"Talk later when the director's done," Hanbin tells him. 

"Yeah, okay. Sorry," he sends him a sly smile but the younger only stares at him with no expression, and then back in front. Bobby wonders what the hell did he do now. 

Jaewon leans in to whisper at him, "What'd he say?" 

Bobby leans to whisper back, "He told me to shut up." 

Jaewon pretends that he will say something again but only chuckles in his ear. His shoulder rises to cover his ear because it tickles. He hears Hanbin scoff beside him and he stops laughing. 

He mumbles another apology and when he turns to face Jaewon, he's watching in front as if pretending nothing happened. Bobby elbows him enough to hurt. The older's mouth only cracks a smile. 

///////

"Charades? Are you fucking kidding me?" Yunhyeong has no time covering Jinhwan's mouth as the latter spews profanities here and there. He sneered at every game they were forced to play. One was a drawing game which they managed to win against Dahyun's all-girl faculty courtesy of Hanbin's mastery at drawing. 

It was the last challenge before lunch, and whoever wins will be included in the treasure hunt and whoever loses will be disqualified. The score was 1-1, the girls won the other round with a 2-point advantage and Yunhyeong was starting to get anxious. 

"The category will be nursery rhymes," The rep says in defeat, as if his soul has been sucked out of his body. Bobby laughs at the absurdity of it all. Of course, they were to guess nursery rhymes. It's very _educator_ of them.

When they see the girls circling around to plan, Yunhyeong gathers them around too. "One will act out and everyone else guesses. I don't care if you spew whatever nursery rhyme comes to your mind even if it's unrelated, we have to win this."

"I only know three nursery rhymes. I'm gonna repeat them every time," Bobby admits early on. He counts them on his fingers to make sure. _London Bridge, That One Song About Blacksheeps, The Longer Version of London Bridge._

In the end, they made him the one to act out. And frankly, he doesn't know what's worse. 

"Listen," Yunhyeong comes up to him and places his hand on his shoulder. "If it's Mary Had a Little Lamb, point to Jinhwan. If it's Three Bears, point to Jaewon. If it's Let's Go Through The Jungle, point to Hanbin." 

His eyes widen and Yunhyeong puts his index finger on his lips to shut him up. "Yunhyeong, what the hell?" 

"I rigged it," The other shakes his head as if telling him not to tell anyone. 

"You're not seeing heaven, dude." 

Yunhyeong chuckles, shrugging, "Yeah, well, I'm gay so I'm not seeing heaven eitherway." 

Bobby mouths a _fuck you_ and shakes his head. He couldn't believe he did the most just to win. 

They had a three-point advantage by the time the game was about to end, all thanks to Yunhyeong's cheating self. Bobby tried to act out most of it by shaping the objects in the air and aggressively shaking his head. He thinks charades should be an extreme sport considering the amount of energy one has to waste in order to score. For the most of them, he simply danced the _choreography._ He particularly had a hard time explaining what Ring Around The Rosie was and it had Hanbin shouting every nursery rhyme in existence that he knew of before he could get it. He earned not one but two glares after that. 

"I can't believe we won," Yunhyeong and Jinhwan cheer, jumping up and down while hugging each other. 

He couldn't help but scoff and Yunhyeong just gave him a knowing look that has him shaking his head. They eat lunch on their table before the announcement of the great treasure hunt. Bobby feels tired already. 

He stares at Hanbin's crustacean-filled plate and whines immediately. "Do they have meat?" 

"Just one dish," Hanbin says, eyeing him like he's judging. 

When he doesn't say anything back, Hanbin asks, "Why? Are you allergic?" 

"No, I just don't eat seafood," he admits. Hanbin tells him the meat will be at the second container to the right, in case he gets repulsed by the sight of seafood too. Bobby thanks him and heads to the buffet. 

  
  
  
  


The thing is, Bobby had noticed Hanbin was avoiding him. And if it was any other day apart from the previous ones where they had a _mutual understanding_ to be friends, he would think it was only normal. But it was the Hanbin now, and he was different from the Hanbin before. This Hanbin had slept on his bed, had been in his car, and had accepted his invitation to _go together._ Which to him, those weren't the things enemies do to each other. And if he was being honest, Hanbin was never really his enemy. He was just… that guy who doesn't like him. In the previous days, he was sure that Hanbin had warmed up to him, or at least learned to. They joked around, and laughed at each other without any hidden vendetta. Just a while ago, they were fine sitting beside each other. After the 3-level games with Faculty No. 6, Hanbin sat on the adjacent seat beside Jinhwan. 

When he tried to come up with reasons why Hanbin's acting the way he is right now, it all didn't make sense. He just stopped thinking and accepted that this might be a new _down_ on their friendship. After all, it's not always rainbows and butterflies. 

The treasure hunt started 15 minutes ago. It was only set for an hour and they split up to find things easier. There were at least 10 items hidden in the resort. Nine of them were the name plates used by the past directors of their high school. It's not really necessary to find them but they contain at least 100 points. The _treasure_ however, is something that belongs dearly to their current director. Nobody knows what it was except for the hint that it goes well with suit and tie. Bobby personally thinks it's a watch but he's not sure either. Yunhyeong apparently doesn't know what it was, to their dismay. All those months sucking ass and he's still behind. The other only tells them to shut up and move. There will be spies all around the area and when someone has explicitly retrieved it, an alarm will go off signifying the end of the hunt. He wonders what's supposed to happen if nobody managed to find it. 

By the time the announcer had shouted through the megaphone as a reminder that it's been 30 minutes in, he had already found at least three name plates. He sees Hanbin by the pool trying to make out if there was an object underwater. He sits beside him and Hanbin lifts his head. He's wearing a gold clip on his hair to show his forehead off and he thinks he looks cute. He doesn't say it though. 

"Are you mad at me?" He's said it twice today. Hanbin wasn't really very easy to read. Or he's either not paying attention that much. Was he a bad friend?

Hanbin shakes his head. He realizes he removed his shoes so that he could dip his feet in the water. The lower part of his pants was wet now. 

"Did I say something that made you upset?" He asks again. He's set to find out what he did this time. He can't let their friendship go to waste. 

Hanbin shakes his head again. He paddles his feet and water splashes lightly. Bobby watches it come to a calm. There's droplets on his pants now too. 

"Did I do something?" Hanbin sighs, turning to face him. Bobby feels nervous of what he was about to say. What did he do now? 

"Hyung, can you stop doing that?" Hanbin tells him with his voice low. 

"Doing what?" 

"Blaming yourself whenever something's wrong." 

Bobby smiles, "So there _is_ something wrong."

Hanbin grunts and averts his gaze. "It's not your fault." 

"Then… whose fault is it? Yours?" 

Hanbin makes another noise from the back of his throat, like he doesn't really want to tell him but he's being forced to. He looks at him again. 

He squints his eyes when the sunlight hits the gold clip on Hanbin's hair, it blinds him momentarily and he gets distracted when he sees a carving on the flat metal plate. He inches closer. 

"I guess, I was jealous," he hears Hanbin murmur but he doesn't listen. He's trying to make out what the plate says. "Hyung, what are you—"

 _Jang Wooyeon_ in cursive. His eyes grow wide and he suddenly snatches it out of Hanbin's hair. The younger winces in pain, rubbing his head. "The fuck?" 

They hear sirens all over the place and the game ends. The treasure has been found. Bobby laughs as he stares at the clip in his hand. It was a tie clip from Director Jang. 

"Hanbin, we won!" He doesn't think twice when he pulls the younger in for a hug. Hanbin doesn't hug him back, shocked and still processing what was happening. 

Yunhyeong was running towards them, so fast that it made them fall in the pool. Luckily, it was the one for kids and they didn't drown. He was so happy he couldn't even snarl at him. 

"I can't believe you really found it!" Yunhyeong slaps him in the chest. 

He brushes his hair upwards. "I can't believe it either! It was on Hanbin the whole time!" Yunhyeong then slaps Hanbin in the chest. 

Jinhwan and Jaewon join them in the pool as they celebrate, circling around, hand in hand like kids. They keep on laughing thinking about the good bed they were to sleep on, the air-conditioned room, the resort's buffet. 

"What were you saying earlier?" Bobby whispers in Hanbin's ear when everyone calmed down. 

Hanbin shakes his head, smiling. "It's not important."

Bobby smiles back. "If you say so." They're fine now. Hanbin's not upset anymore. That's what he assures himself to feel fine too. 

///////

They enjoy playtime in the pool as Yunhyeong and Jaewon cook barbecues on the side. Jinhwan was having fun lying down on the inflatable float. Hanbin's on the other side using his phone with only his legs dipped in the water and he's on the other end watching him. 

He was planning to join him when Jaewon appeared in front of him holding two barbecues on a stick. He offers him one and Bobby thanks him as he takes it. The older sits beside him. He sees Hanbin looking at them but he turns his head away from him when he doesn't hear what Jaewon was saying. 

"How could you even see what was written on the clip?" He sounded amused when he asked. Bobby chuckles lightly. 

"I just have the best vision," he shrugs smugly. 

"What were you doing with Hanbin anyway?" Jaewon pries. Bobby doesn't really know what to answer besides the fact that he wants to resolve something with Hanbin that he has no idea what but he still does it anyway. When he lifts his head to look at him on the other end of the pool, Hanbin's already gone. 

"Just happened to meet him there," he says, which was partly true. 

Hanbin doesn't show up the rest of the night. Jinhwan says he was tired so he went to bed early. Bobby can't help but feel like it was because of him again. He didn't see him until it was time to sleep. He didn't even get to enjoy swimming. 

The room he and Jaewon were supposed to share only has one bed. The older had excused himself a while ago when the couple was having a sing-off saying that he's supposed to be up early in the morning because he's got somewhere else to be so he'll have to sleep early too. 

He sees him on the other side of the bed, lying down on his stomach. He's a little thankful he's not hogging all the space. He takes a shower and gets dressed, carefully tucking himself beside him to not wake him up. He lies on his side, looking through the window. 

He thinks about Hanbin and why Hanbin was the way he is. He thinks about how he's always the one trying to take a step forward and whenever Hanbin meets him halfway, he takes two steps back like it's somewhat his form of retaliation, a defense mechanism to stop his walls from breaking down. However, he's the first one to concede and ask him to be friends, he's the first one to ask him what was wrong. But why does he feel like it's his fault whenever Hanbin goes back to the way he was? And even though Hanbin had told him not to blame himself, he can't help but fall through the same cycle. Has he always been like this? Was it the reason why he was left behind? Did _he_ get tired of him trying to read between the lines and failing? For missing the signs? 

Or is Hanbin just so fucking confusing that no matter how much he communicates his feelings he's still going to make it complicated somehow? That if he stops walking towards him, Hanbin would never finish the distance between them and turn away instead? 

He smiles as he closes his eyes. It kind of felt nice not putting the blame on himself for once. Those were all he could do for now. He tries to sleep but it doesn't come. His phone on the bedside table vibrates and he picks it up in a flash. 

_From: Kim Hanbin_

_Still up?_

Bobby sits up so suddenly it makes Jaewon shift on the bed. He bites on his lips and types his reply as silently as possible. 

  
  


_To: Kim Hanbin_

_I am._

He tries adding more but before he could think of anything, he gets another reply. 

_From: Kim Hanbin_

_Wanna swim?_

_To: Kim Hanbin_

_Yeah, sure._

He scrambles to put his slippers on. Jaewon stirs in his sleep but he's out the door before he could even fully wake up. He's half-running on his way to the pool. Hanbin's already sitting on where he was before, legs underwater, hands on the side of the edge of the pool, eyes watching the ripples of water he makes with his feet. Bobby sits beside him quietly, like how he planned to a while ago. Hanbin hums. 

"Couldn't sleep?" The younger asks, tilting his head as he stares at him. Bobby stares back, nodding. 

"I was thinking," he answers. 

"Must be tough," Hanbin teases. Bobby doesn't find it in himself to smile and tease back. 

"Actually, I was thinking of you." 

It must've caught Hanbin off guard because then he's silent. So, Bobby continues, "I was thinking why I feel like you got me wrapped around your fingers. Even when you hated me, I was questioning it. Normally, I'd let things like that go because it drains my energy but with you, I always wondered. You're confusing as hell. You change moods easily. But I think… I'm partly confused because… being your friend—" he halts his speech when Hanbin jumps in the pool, splashing water everywhere. Bobby closes his eyes and tries to control his breathing. 

He pulls the hem of his shirt upwards to remove it and then joins Hanbin in the pool. His arms are around him in seconds, he's not even trying to run away. 

"If you're about to preach on me about how friendship is the way to heaven or whatever bullshit you were planning to say, just save it. I don't want to hear it. I was jealous and you're obviously lying about not being into Jaewon because I've seen the way you look at him and my eyes never deceive me," Hanbin says in one breath. 

Bobby chuckles, pulling him close. Hanbin was wearing a tank top, it sticks to his skin as water swallows his body. His waist feels just as warm in his arms though. "Have you ever seen the way _I_ look at _you?"_

Hanbin's mouth hangs open. His eyes linger on his parted lips, pink and plump and so inviting. He's never had this urge before, or if he does he would never admit it. 

"What are you talking about?" 

He brushes the hair off Hanbin's forehead, water droplets falling on the side of his cheeks. He looks absolutely beautiful under the lights by the poolside. 

"I'm saying maybe I don't really want to be your friend," he's staring at his lips longer than expected. Hanbin seems to get the gist, he feels his hand hike up to his sides, up, up, until they were resting on his shoulder. His fingers are already pruned. He doesn't mind. "Can I kiss you?" 

"How much do you want it?" Hanbin teases. 

"I really can't think right now," Bobby answers. "That's how much." 

Hanbin laughs and says, "That doesn't make sense, hyung. But go ahead." 

And if he has to admit, it's even better than he dreamed of. He leans in and captures his lips in a kiss he probably always wanted to happen. They're as soft as they look, as warm as he anticipated. His heart was hammering against his rib cage and Hanbin's hand tightens on his shoulder before they close on the back of his neck, pushing him to an even deeper kiss as he leads them to where the water was shallow. He makes Hanbin open his mouth as he swipes his tongue on his bottom lip, biting him enough to let up. Hanbin moans when he lifts his ass up and sits him on the edge of the pool. They part and catch their breaths and Hanbin leans down to rest their foreheads against each other. 

"I don't hate you. I never hated you," Bobby kisses the corner of his lips, Hanbin hums and nods. He sees that he's got his eyes closed and so he lets his mouth travel to his jaw, and then down to his neck, leaving trails the shape of his lips. "I never did," he repeats. 

"I know," Hanbin was out of breath and he can feel his nails digging on his back. He continues planting kisses on his shoulder, tracing his tattoo with his tongue, the only part he was allowed to see. "You were incapable of hating me because you have a pure heart," Hanbin snorts and flicks his forehead. 

"Can I kiss you again?" He asks him when he opens his eyes. Hanbin's lips were swollen, so red, so raw. 

"Let's get out of here," Hanbin tries to pull him up but he only lifts a brow. He wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him down instead, back in the pool and in front of him. 

"I want to kiss you here." 

Hanbin doesn't complain when he claims his lips in another kiss, warm tongues clashing through the cold, skin on skin as he peels his clothes off. He doesn't complain when he's kissing every inch of his face. He doesn't complain when he only rests whenever he runs out of breath. 


	14. Gifts, tattoos, and them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild Sexual Content

Hanbin thinks it's definitely different with Bobby. 

Once or twice, when he was already out back in his college years, he fooled around with guys he barely even remember now. Then there was another one before Chanwoo who ghosted him and went to Japan. Then there was Chanwoo who fucked him over twice as bad. Then there was Bobby.

Right beside him, arms around his waist. It's been a week since their mutual yet unspoken understanding to be _more than_ friends. They've also decided to keep it a secret to the faculty first as none of them know how to tell them. It's not really that important anyway. If it ever comes up, then they'll explain. Since it hasn't, they're being discreet outside their shared space. But for now, it's just the two of them. He feels warm and safe. 

Bobby groans and pulls him even closer, arms tightening around him as he places his head deeper on his chest. "What time is it?" 

"Dawn," he answers. 

"Do we have to get ready now?" 

Hanbin laughs lightly, "I'll go first." 

Bobby has been spending time in his house lately. Not that he was complaining. Honey absolutely enjoys his company and Hanbin wouldn't really want it any other way. They figured it was safer because if it was Hanbin doing the visiting, Jaewon might see them together and they might have to explain early on. They're trying to savor their privacy before it gets taken away. 

"I think I need to go home," Bobby says against his chest. Hanbin shifts on the bed, trying to lift the older's face. He frowns in protest. 

"Why?" 

"I haven't been home properly for two days," Bobby moves his body upwards so that his face is buried in the crook of his neck. 

"You don't like it here?" 

"On the contrary," he plants a kiss on his collarbone and sits up, looking back at his pouting face. "Get ready or you're going to be late." 

He rolls his eyes, removing the blanket on top of him and scrubbing his eyes. "Fine. See you at school." 

Bobby smiles at him and says the same. 

He's not really sure how to tell _why_ it's different. Bobby is good at everything he does. And that includes taking care of someone he feels affection to. He's seen it with the way he worries about him, or the way he looks relieved whenever he tells him he'll be fine. Bobby doesn't make it seem like he's the one in control of their relationship, he's never made him feel like he has to submit or do what he says. And maybe it was the bare minimum, maybe relationships are meant to be founded on understanding and equality, but he's never experienced it before. Bobby gives him just that. He questions some of his decisions but he doesn't change them the way he would want it to be. In a span of one week, he was able to find comfort in another person that isn't family, when he least expected it too. Come to think of it, he was insecure because Bobby was _objectively_ smarter but whenever they fight, Bobby had never once called him stupid. 

"Hanbin," his train of thoughts gets interrupted when Bobby speaks. 

"Hmm?" He stares at him, already at the door and ready to leave. 

"Wanna have dinner later?" 

"We always have dinner together." 

Bobby scrunches his nose and shakes his head, "I meant like dinner out. Like… a date." 

"Oh." 

Hanbin bites on his lip and nods. They've never been out together. He blushes so hard once Bobby smiles back and closes the door. The room was freezing but his cheeks were heating up. He covers himself with his blanket and tries to roll around in excitement. He hopes nighttime comes early.

///////

Bobby won't admit that he had forgotten it. Not even when he's going to get electrocuted for it. They arrived in the faculty separately, nodding at each other like normal and then never talking. The couple was earlier than him. They were talking about something he doesn't hear until Yunhyeong decides to make him join the conversation. 

"Is Bobby invited?" His head snaps to their direction when he hears his name. 

"What?" 

"I was asking Hanbin if you're invited to his birthday party tomorrow. You know, this dude's gonna be 26. Not to pressure you guys but at least act civil, damn, you always look like you're trying to strangle each other's necks," Yunhyeong shakes his head. 

Hanbin's birthday. 

Yeah, he definitely forgot about it. Not like it was important to him before. He greeted him casually and then that was it. But the circumstances were different now. It's Hanbin's first birthday _with_ _him._ He has to have a gift at least. 

He tries to look neutral while Hanbin averts his gaze, which he was thankful since he doesn't want him knowing he forgot. He knows it was October. He was just too preoccupied to notice it was near.

"Yeah, of course. Bobby hyung, you're invited," Hanbin says without looking at him. Yunhyeong sends him finger guns and he scoffs. 

"Thanks. I'll be there," he says and gets back on his seat. He tries coming up with gift ideas before the bell rings. He's starting to feel stressed. 

By the time it was lunch, he had bolted out of the faculty room with his bag saying he'll eat out. Hanbin had texted him asking where he'll be and he had told him he'll be back immediately. It couldn't be done tonight, no. Their dinner date was already planned and he wouldn't be able to sneak out to buy gifts in the middle of it. Hanbin would be suspicious. 

He stops by their local gift shop. He'll find something to buy for now. He'll shower him with gifts later. 

He sees a pair of rope anklets with a silver feather charm dangling in the middle. The other one was relatively longer and at first he thought it was a father-and-son promo but the woman at the counter told him it was actually a collar for dogs. One of their products for National Dog Day that wasn't sold out. He remembers Hanbin telling him he rescued Honey on his birthday. It would be a cute gift for the both of them. He bought it without hesitation. He's already got another gift in his mind to give them. He's planning to go all-out. 

  
  
  
  


He was surprised when it was only Hanbin who came out of the house when he fetched him. The younger told him he asked his neighbor to take care of Honey because he wanted to enjoy the night with just the two of them. He snorts at the thought of Hanbin thinking Honey would ruin the mood. 

"You look good," he complimented him as soon as he was seated inside his car. He's wearing plain fitted long-sleeves and dark pants. 

"Stop lying. I look like the Korean Steve Jobs," Bobby laughs and Hanbin glares at him. "I ran out of nice clothes to wear."

"Everything you wear is nice." 

"God, stop." 

He shrugs but he stops with the praises, eyes on the road with a smile on his face. They planned to eat in the steak house near their high school, the one Donghyuk recommended to them before. It was the only choice they agreed on. 

"So… tomorrow, huh?" 

Hanbin was looking at the city lights outside the window when he spared him a glance. "Yup, getting older." 

Bobby chuckles lightly, "You've reached my age." 

"Wow, what an achievement. Should I stop calling you hyung?" Hanbin turns to face him and cocks a brow. 

"I like it when you call me hyung." 

"Well, someone's got a kink," Hanbin laughs when he sees him blush. He feels him leaning in and then there's a quick kiss on his cheek. And then a second. And then a third. Bobby giggles and tells him to stop or he'll have to pull up. 

They're parked outside the steak house when Hanbin says, "Wanna make out before we eat?" 

And Bobby doesn't really feel like saying no so he lets Hanbin shift on his seat just to straddle him, both hands on his cheeks, lips on his lips 

"It feels so nice," Hanbin mumbles as he kisses down his throat, sucking lightly, with his arms on his hips. 

"What does?" He asks, with Hanbin's scent swirling around him, and he knows sooner or later they'll share the same. He couldn't wait until everything he does will include Hanbin, until it's just Hanbin and no one else. 

"Kissing you." The younger pushes him lightly to look at him. "And being close to you… staring at you." 

"You know what I feel?" He takes a moment to stare at him too before catching the stray hairs on his forehead and tucking them behind his ear. 

"What?" 

"I feel like we should've done this way before. Maybe we could've stopped ourselves from being miserable pricks going at each other." 

Hanbin rolls his eyes, but he hugs him close. "Maybe." 

What he and Hanbin have right now… it's not really something he could compare to what he and Junhoe had. With the latter, he was so sure that he loves him. He never once had a moment where he had to stop and think if it was just a simple attraction. He was never uncertain. He knew Junhoe would be a constant part of his life no matter what. But with Hanbin, he had a hard time understanding what it was that drew him in him. Whether it was confusion or curiosity, he doesn't think it would affect him in the long run. He'll just have to see how it goes and hopes it goes well. He's not able to see how it ends, if it'll end, but whatever happens, he knows Hanbin will leave a mark on him. 

Unlike everybody else, this time, he'll be yearning for it. 

"I like you." 

"I want to spend more birthdays with you." 

///////

As much as he wanted to be with Bobby only right now, he figures it's not really that bad to spend time with his colleagues for his birthday. 

They rented a VIP section at one of the clubs Jinhwan suggested, inviting his small circle and trying to have fun without worrying about the time. Bobby told him he will be running late because he had to redo an email he forgot to send last night. He partly blames himself because they went home late. 

Donghyuk arrived with Junhoe, much to his disappointment. Although the former had asked him beforehand if Junhoe could come, he had only answered _yes_ to be polite. When he saw him in flesh, he couldn't help but think of what Bobby will do once he sees him too. How long has it been since they saw each other? Or had they been seeing secretly? He starts getting anxious until he receives a call from him. 

"Happy Birthday, Hanbin hyung," Junhoe smiles at him and gives him his gift saying it was from the both of them, pointing at Donghyuk. He thanks him and excuses himself to answer his phone. 

He accepted it once he was out, covering one of his ears. "Hello?" 

"Hey, I'm here. Sorry for calling."

"What? It's fine. Come up."

"Can you come down? I… uh, I wanna give you my gift without fuss from other people."

Hanbin scoffs but he smiles, already going down. "Nobody's gonna make a fuss, hyung. It's my birthday." 

He can feel Bobby smiling on the other line too when he says, "I kinda wanna give you a birthday kiss before we pretend to be awkward." 

Hanbin doesn't speak anymore, he runs faster to where he said he was parked and it's almost like a scene from a movie when he welcomed him in his arms and kissed him deeply like they've been apart for long. 

"Happy birthday," Bobby greets him and gives him a fairly large square box. 

"Can I open it now?" 

"Sure, it's yours." 

Hanbin doesn't waste any time and removes the cover of the box, taking out one of the rope anklet and smiling from ear to ear. "I've always wanted one. Thank you." 

He sees Bobby blush and scratch the back of his neck, smiling proudly too. "The other one is for Honey. You said she doesn't wear a collar so maybe a thinner one would do. It's her birthday too right?" 

Hanbin bites the inside of his cheeks and nods. He's so happy. He wraps one arm around Bobby's neck and pulls him down to kiss him quickly. 

"You know what gifting anklet means, right?" He teases, and laughs when he sees Bobby's wide comical eyes. 

"I don't, what does it mean?" 

"It means the giftee is committed but available for sexual relationships." 

He couldn't help but laugh at Bobby's reaction. They walk back upstairs trying to keep their distance. The smile on his face never left though. Not until he sees Bobby tense once his eyes landed on Junhoe and Donghyuk. 

And here he thought nothing could ruin his mood. 

  
  
  
  


It was his first time seeing Bobby drunk. Apparently, it was the first for everyone too. Even Junhoe whose face was just as bewildered. The older was the designated driver, the sober friend, nobody would've expected him to be a talkative drunk. 

It's not even his will to be wasted though, Yunhyeong and Jinhwan hosted a drinking game and for some reason, Bobby was always losing so he has no choice but to keep drinking. 

He ends the party before the older could even say something weird or something that he shouldn't really say, like confess his love for Junhoe in front of him on his birthday. That's just his worst case scenario. 

"Who's taking Bobby home?" Jinhwan asks. 

"Right? Who's taking me home? I vote for Hanbin!" He scoffs when Bobby speaks. At least thankful he didn't reveal their relationship just yet. Somehow, deep down, he wants him to tell.

"I'll take him home," he says. Yunhyeong raises a brow at him. 

"Wouldn't it be bothersome for you? Sucks Jaewon went home early. If I knew Bobby would be like this, I would've made him take Bobby with him." 

Hanbin refrains himself from glaring. "I don't mind. You guys just go home and take a rest. Thank you for coming and celebrating with me." 

They bid him goodbye, and he takes Bobby with him to the parking lot. Words slurring and steps staggering. He's heavy and he laughs a lot. 

He takes his car key from his back pocket and settles him on the passenger seat. It's a good thing he knows how to drive. 

"Can you drive? I'll let you drive. I can't drive. My hands are numb," Bobby suddenly speaks, head leaning on the window and slumped in his seat. 

"Yeah, I'll drive you home, hyung," he answers.

"Oh look, I can still move them," Bobby shows him his hand closing and opening. "Do you want me to drive?"

"No. No. I'll do it," he shakes his head, smiling lightly. He looks adorable. 

"Thank you," he nods and hums. 

It wasn't long until he spoke again. 

"I want to tell you something," he pauses. "But I feel like you won't wanna hear it." 

"It's fine. Don't tell me if you don't want to."

He sees Bobby's bottom lip protrudes, "You're supposed to force me into telling you what it is."

Hanbin chuckles, "Okay, so what is it? Tell me. Come on."

Bobby nods and accepts his attempt. "You know… I used to blame myself when Junhoe left me. I've been so in love with him. And–and there were moments when I'll think about how we ended up like that. Did I do something wrong? Was I not good enough?" Bobby sniffles, "Then you came. And you hated me. So I thought, yeah, maybe something's wrong with me. Maybe it's really my fault. You told me–you admitted that it was _you._ That you were insecure that's why you hated me. Then I realized that I wasn't at fault at that, at all. Because what am I supposed to do? I can't stop being good for your sake," he shrugs. "I also realized that maybe it wasn't my fault too that Junhoe broke up with me. Maybe I was too good for him," he snorts. "I was too perfect. God. Do you hear me? I'm too fucking perfect," Bobby giggles and stares at him through heavy-lidded eyes. 

Hanbin doesn't know what to say at that. His heart feels heavy and he feels like hugging him. In the end, he says, "We're home. Do you want me to stay a little longer?" 

And when Bobby nods without a word, he realizes maybe he doesn't really have to give his two cents. He just needed to listen. 

  
  
  
  
  


Bobby's hair was still half-wet when he lied beside him on his bed. He forced him to take a shower so he could sober up quickly and asked him to make the water warm to avoid getting headaches tomorrow. 

"Can you stay the night?" Bobby whispers against his neck. Hanbin squirms and holds his breath. 

"I have to go home. Honey's alone," he could feel Bobby's lips forming a pout on his skin. 

"Ah, right. Take my car with you, so I won't worry."

"How are you going to drive tomorrow?" 

"I'll go to your house first thing in the morning," Bobby claims. 

Hanbin chortles unbelievingly, "I hope you won't forget that."

"I won't," Bobby moves closer to him, legs clinging on his hip and he's biting on his lip because he feels so warm and comfortable, and he's rubbing against him like it's nothing. 

"Okay, hyung. I'll go now," he tries pushing him lightly but he's hugging him top tight. 

"Hanbin."

"Hmm?"

"Can you kiss me?" He shifts to his side and kisses him on the lips once, soft and quick. 

Bobby giggles, "Thank you." 

Hanbin smiles, "You're welcome." 

Then, like a switch, Bobby's eyes stare at him darkly, voice low when he says, "Can you kiss me again? Properly?" 

Something snaps inside him and he's suddenly on top of Bobby, pinning him down, and then kissing him. This time hard and deep with no room for air. He's got Bobby's arms trapped on top of his head, bodies aligned, sucking on his tongue. He tastes of mint from his toothpaste, his neck soft and sensitive as he trails kisses to trace the line of his throat, his Adam's apple, his collarbone. His hand hikes up the hem of his white shirt and he circles a finger on his navel, muscles taut and firm. Bobby moans. _Fuck,_ it's beautiful. 

"You're hard," he tells him as he looks up from where he was kissing him, mouth on his hip bone, fingers on his sides. 

"Do something," Bobby pants, pulling his plump bottom lip in between his teeth. He's thankful the bedside lamp was on because he wouldn't want to miss seeing this. How Bobby looks, pliant, breathless, and so, so hard. 

"You want this?" He tugs on his pants lightly, just to tease. 

"Yeah. Yes." 

"Ah, so that's why you got brand new condoms now in your drawers?" He sucks on his hips enough to make his skin pink, light and pretty. 

Bobby laughs under his breath. "Ultra thin ones." 

Hanbin pulls his pajama pants all the way down to his ankles. Bobby kicks them off of him. "Spread your legs," he demands. 

Bobby does so, suddenly covering his face with his arm. Hanbin curses, "Fuck. Fuck, hyung." He's got a tattoo. On his inner thigh. A bird with its wings wide open, stopping close to his groin. Black and glaring at him. He dips his head and plants wet kisses on his skin there, tongue outlining what he considers as his very sexual tattoo, something one could only see if they were this close, this bare. 

"It's a mockingbird," Bobby says, still hiding his face. 

"From The Hunger Games?" 

The older snorts, "To Kill A Mockingbird. The Hunger Games had a Mockingjay." 

Hanbin rolls his eyes, "Whatever." 

Bobby shivers when his hand travels up to his stomach again, crawling up and down as if teasing. "Are you okay with hickeys?" 

"God, just… just _do_ something!"

Hanbin chuckles and starts sucking on his inner thigh, his hand meets the tip of his cock, already glazed with precum. He's achingly hard too but he takes his time when his lips graze the base of his length. Bobby groans. 

"How long has it been since someone touched you like this?" He knows it wasn't important, but right now he wanted an ego boost. 

"Years too."

"Fuck, hyung. You're a fucking saint!" 

"Please shut up and get me off." 

As if it was the magic word, he wraps his lips around the head and slowly goes down, gripping on the base he doesn't bother to reach. His other hand was holding Bobby's hips down, and he couldn't help but think about his tattoo. How many people had seen it? How many had been in the same situation as him right now? He lets him go and circles his tongue around the head, tasting him. 

"Show me your face, hyung," he pumps him shallowly as he trails kisses upwards, shirt riding up and exposing his chest. He sucks on a nipple and Bobby cries out another moan, his arm falling off of his face, eyes closed in pleasure. Hanbin strokes him faster now. 

"You have no idea how gorgeous you look right now," he says before going down again, and this time, he's bent on making him cum. He takes him in his mouth, cheeks hollowed and tongue flat. Bobby thrusts up and he lets him fuck his throat, catching drops and swallowing them down. 

"Hanbin," was the last thing he said as he felt warmth enveloping his tongue, salty and sweet and he took them all in one gulp. Bobby's voice was rough and broken, sweat running down his neck. He releases him carefully but licks the head of his cock for teasing, chuckling when Bobby squirms from oversensitivy. 

"Shit." 

"Shit is right," he rests his head on his thigh, fingers on the other as if redrawing his tattoo. He's still hard but he waits it out. 

"Do you want me to—"

He cuts him off by telling him to rest and just sleep. He'll go home in a minute. 

He sits up and covers Bobby's body with his blanket, the Jane Austen medley one that looks nice on him too. He wipes his mouth and stares at his face, trying so hard not to fall asleep. 

"I'll give back to you," Bobby mumbles. 

"No worries. I'll fuck my fist at the thought of you in your car though, hope you don't mind." 

He sees Bobby smile before he passes out. He kisses his forehead and hopes he doesn't miss him that much. He's going to think of him and his fucking tattoo once he's out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a very awesome [art](https://twitter.com/b337673291/status/1300464772849086465?s=19) of Bobby's thigh tattoo from K! You can also follow her, she makes great aus!


	15. Bets, and kisses, and a frame pool in autumn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote so many Jiwon fics that I wasn't used to writing Bobby lol

Bobby wakes up with a headache, too early in the morning. Of course. It's been so long since he got drunk.

It's also been so long since he got _something._

He scrubs his face at the thought of Hanbin in between his thighs. It's quite scary that he remembers every little thing that happened last night, down from Hanbin kissing his lips to Hanbin sucking him off. It felt surreal too because it was too fast. They skipped a lot of steps on Bobby's relationship schedule.

Anyway, this was Hanbin. And Hanbin doesn't conform to rules—doesn't even know Bobby follows one. He liked it nonetheless. It was another spontaneous moment that he’ll probably never forget. 

It has been his routine to wake up early on a school day, always wanting to be the first person in the faculty room, it’s either him or Hanbin. But he wasn’t going to deny that he’s quite excited this time, like he’s got something to look forward to. He’s not even mad when he remembers he let Hanbin take his car with him. They’re going to see each other in a while. He’s going to be with him again.

When he was all done, he texted Hanbin that he's on his way, checking his reflection on the elevator, and then fixing his hair after pressing send. Hanbin didn't reply. Bobby thinks he's still preparing, or asleep. 

He hugs himself through his hoodie on the bus, and that’s where he receives a reply, Hanbin asking for him to stay safe. Bobby smiles and hides his phone in his pocket. 

The sun was out when he got off, rubbing his hands together as he heads to Hanbin's house, stepping on fallen leaves on the sidewalk. The neighborhood looks even better in autumn. Jiwon regrets that he didn't bring him a coffee. But then he remembers Hanbin doesn't like coffees so he shrugs it off. 

His car was parked in front of the house, on the spacious lawn and it looks out of place. Hanbin doesn't have a garage. He presses the doorbell excitedly, face brightening up when he was met with a grumpy-looking Hanbin… and a very energetic Honey. Seems like only one of them isn't a morning person. 

Bobby's smile doesn't falter. He wants to pull him in a hug, but that would be too much, at least this early. So he settles with a raise of a brow, greeting him a good morning, asking if he could come in. 

"Have you eaten?" Hanbin asks, still in the front door. Bobby figures his answer might determine if he could come in or not. He realizes there was no need for him to come inside because looking at the time, they should just get going. 

"Yeah, have you?" 

Hanbin nods, "We should probably go?" 

Bobby agrees, stooping down to scratch Honey's hair. "What about her?" 

"Gonna ask the neighbor to watch over. She'll be fine," Hanbin yawns and closes the door, picking up his dog, and then heading to his neighbor's house. 

Bobby leans on his car and waits. Hanbin comes back and finally returns his smile, albeit weakly. He hands him his key and they both get in. 

"Still sleepy?" Bobby asks, checking up on him in the mirror. Hanbin's leaning his head on the window, eyes closed. 

The younger hums, "Are you gonna wear a hoodie to school?" 

Bobby snorts, "It's cold on the bus. I'll remove it, don't worry." He turns the heater on. 

The silence between them was comfortable now, and Bobby's beginning to get used to it. He thinks Hanbin has already gone to take a nap until he speaks, "Can't stop thinking about you last night." 

He tilts his head and licks his lips slowly, "Yeah?" 

"Hmm. Yeah. Especially that god-fucking thigh tattoo," Hanbin answers, eyes still shut. 

Bobby chuckles slightly, "You like it that much?" 

"You have no idea." 

He faces him momentarily and narrows his eyes, "So did you masturbate in this car like you said you would last night?" 

Hanbin looks at him in shock, suddenly alarmed and Bobby laughs out loud. "How the hell do you still remember that?" 

He shrugs, "I remember everything."

The other lifts a brow at him, "Yeah? You remember coming down my throat?" 

Bobby fakes a cough, shaking his head, "Vividly." He faces him again and smiles, "Saw two hickeys below my tats too while I was showering." 

Hanbin rolls his eyes, "You said it was fine when I asked."

"I'm not even complaining," he reaches out to ruffle his hair before he could even stop himself. Thankfully, Hanbin just pouts and lets him. "They were pretty."

"I'm glad you liked them."

Once they were in the school parking lot, Bobby takes his time to stare at Hanbin. Both of them didn't want to go out just yet. It was still early. Hanbin stares back at him. Bobby shakes his head and taps his lap, Hanbin doesn't hesitate to get on top of him, thighs on each side of him, wringing his arms over his shoulders. 

"You know… I got that tattoo after the breakup," Bobby tells him truthfully. He wanted to have something as a sign of freedom, and although he has never been free then, he feels liberated now. Even more that it's Hanbin who gets to see it. 

"You're so predictable, hyung," Hanbin mocks him, but plants a kiss on his cheek when he rolls his eyes. 

"Says the guy who got drunk after dumping his boyfriend," Bobby snides back. 

Hanbin scoffs, "Well, look at me now."

"Look at you," Bobby pulls him closer, lips pressing on the curve of his neck and then humming. "On my lap." His mouth roams upwards until he's kissing the side of his lips. Hanbin's fingers find purchase in his hair, and he stares at him like he's starting to ignite a fire between them. 

"Does that mean I'm the first one to see the tattoo?" Hanbin asks in a whisper. 

Bobby hums, "Exclusively." 

"And you haven't fucked anyone all those years… months… whatever…" Hanbin pants, he's trying to suck light marks on his exposed collarbone. 

"Made out with some people in the club. Didn't like it."

"And you like me?" Bobby smiles against his skin, pulling away to meet his eyes. 

"Very much so."

They kiss like they haven't been allowed to. Bobby thinks he's never going to get used to Hanbin's soft lips against him. But he'd kiss him all over again just to relive the feeling. 

  
  
  
  
  


"Hanbin, I got you something," he says before they leave the car, pulling his hoodie over his head to take it off, and then tossing it to the backseat. 

Hanbin checks his current state on the rearview mirror, fixing his collar. The marks Bobby had left him look like they were mere mosquito bites and he sighs in relief. He wasn't _that_ wild. Or maybe in disbelief. They'll get there eventually. "What?" 

"So I said I was gonna give you something more for your birthday, right?" 

Hanbin looks back at him curiously, "Yeah, and?" 

Bobby unzips his bag and hands him a square-shaped present wrapped personally. He laughs at his face when he examines it and sees how much he's struggled. "Wow, you're a bad gift-wrapper. I finally found your flaw."

The older scoffs, "Just open it." 

He hears a package tear and Hanbin's gasp, an obvious fake one. Bobby rolls his eyes, "Why do you look so disappointed?" 

Hanbin shakes his head immediately, laughing, "I'm not! I like it. It's… very cute. Is it like a couple thing?" He takes the blanket out of the plastic and hugs the fabric. It's soft. It smells good too.

"There wasn't any Jane Austen medley when I ordered. But I wanted to give you a different one. I reckon you said you liked Pride & Prejudice."

He gave him one of those book blankets from Pinterest. He wanted to give Hanbin something that would remind him of him. 

Hanbin snorts, "Yeah, that's like the only Jane Austen story I've read." 

"Do you not like the gift? Give it to me," he reaches for it and pretends to sulk. Hanbin swats his hand away and hugs the blanket tighter. 

"I'll use it until it's worn out!"

He doesn't hide his smile. "For your third gift, you can ask for anything you like, anytime. But only once."

"Aww, so you're like my genie?" 

Bobby winks, "Tell me your wish," he singsongs and Hanbin punches his arm lightly. 

"Thank you," Hanbin tells him when they got out. Bobby pulls him closer and kisses the side of his head, before they separate and pretend they don't like each other again. 

"You're welcome."

  
  
  
  
  


"Bobby! My man!" He sees Yunhyeong running up to Bobby's desk the minute he comes in with Jinwan. Hanbin watches them closely, hoping he'll get to hear whatever it is Yunhyeong seems to urgently want to tell him. 

Jinhwan sits on the desk beside him, greeting him like usual. 

"I got a favor to ask," Yunhyeong says. 

"So, Hanbin, I got a favor to ask," Jinhwan tells him too.

He really wants to listen to Yunhyeong and Bobby's conversation but Jinhwan calls him again so he turns his chair and faces him finally, scrunching his nose, "What is it, hyung?" 

"Well… there's this art seminar coming up this weekend,” Jinhwan starts, rubbing his lower lip with his fingers. 

Hanbin lifts a brow, “And?”

“And… we—Yunhyeong and I thought it would be nice if,” he pauses, checking up on Yunhyeong who was talking to Bobby on the other side of the room. 

“If? Come on, hyung. Say it.”

Jinhwan takes a deep breath and says, “We thought it would be nice if you and Bobby could take our spot instead since we booked a flight to Jeju that day because it’s my Mom’s birthday."

Hanbin almost forgets he and Bobby were supposed to be _not okay._ He successfully refrains himself from nodding immediately though. "Give me three pros. Shoot."

Jinhwan scrambles to persuade him, "You get a hotel room of your own, um… you learn new knowledge about arts… and you get to spend time with Bobby… get to know each other… all that stuff."

He narrows his eyes, "Only one of those are pros." But that was a lie, of course. He'd love to spend time with Bobby, away from prying eyes. Just the two of them in a different scenery. 

"Jinny, Bobby agreed!" Yunhyeong shouts from the other end. Jinhwan shushes him. Hanbin takes one look at Bobby and the older eyes him knowingly, like sending a signal to also agree. 

Hanbin pretends to be exhausted by sighing. He acts like he was forced to say, "Fine." and Jinhwan squeals, hugging him tightly. 

"Hope you enjoy!" 

"Hope you guys enjoy!"

"Enjoy what?" Donghyuk comes in with Jaewon, holding a paper bag and a coffee cup. Yunhyeong puts his finger on his mouth as if it was a secret and Bobby shakes his head with a light chuckle. 

"Just some seminar."

"Oh. Bet it's the powerpoint layout seminar disguised as arts Yunhyeong has been raving about," Donghyuk snorts as he sits on his desk. 

"Hey! Making a powerpoint is art!"

Hanbin gives Bobby a knowing look too. And when he was sure no one was staring at them, he winked. The other mouths something that he supposes meant, "I can't wait."

Hanbin can't wait too.

///////

Bobby found it odd that Hanbin was setting up the rectangular frame pool in the middle of autumn, in the middle of his lawn. Hanbin was doing it by himself though, because he refuses to ask for help. So, Bobby just sat on one of the monoblocks with Honey on his lap, watching her owner do all the work. 

“It’s because that goddamn dog kept on barking at this pool’s box. She didn’t even want to take a normal bath,” Hanbin rambles on as he assembles a few steel bars that will hold the pool up. 

“It’s pretty cold,” Bobby looks around, fingers playing with Honey’s hair. He hears Hanbin grunt. There was a special occasion at school for the alumni so they were allowed to go home early. Bobby thought it would be nice if he stayed in Hanbin’s house for a while not knowing the younger was planning on an impromptu pool party between him and his dog. 

“That should be the least of our worries.” Hanbin directs the hose on the pool and turns the faucet on. He sits beside him.

“And what should be the most?” Bobby attempts to put his feet on the pool but Hanbin slaps his legs. He gawks. 

“Fallen leaves.” Hanbin smiles sinisterly before directing the hose at him briefly. Bobby had to drop Honey on the chair when he saw it coming, but of course he was too late. He’s already wet. The dog jumped on the pool as soon as she was let go, swimming her way on the barely full waters. “See? She’s so excited?” 

Hanbin laughs at him when he tries to take the hose from him. “I got soaked!” Bobby complains. 

The younger laughs again, “That’s hot.”

Bobby shakes his head but smiles too, brushing his wet hair upwards. He moves closer to him and pushes him into the pool, splashing water everywhere while Hanbin screams in shock. “It’s not even full yet!”

Bobby shrugs, his shirt sticks to his skin uncomfortably and he wants to take it off but they’re outside. He keeps it on. “Yeah, whatever, you brat.” He joins them eventually, catches Hanbin in an embrace while the hose fills the pool by itself. 

“You’re right, hyung,” Hanbin whispers, pressing closely on his chest. He can feel him shivering. “It’s cold.”

Bobby snorts, “That’s right, genius. Next time wait for summer to come before setting up a pool,” he scolds him jokingly but tightens his hold. 

“Keep me warm.” Hanbin straddles him, face now buried in his neck, lips warm against his skin. 

“I’ll think about it.” There’s a pinch on his side and he laughs. “Honey’s enjoying this very much.”

“That goddamn dog.”

  
  
  
  


Bobby knows exactly how they ended up like they are right now. With Hanbin on his lap, there shouldn’t be any further questions. They stopped trying to fill it all the way up when it got to the half, and when he settled back in the pool and on his lap, without a mind on whatever his dog was doing. He keeps him warm by licking his way onto his mouth, sharing a heated afternoon kiss with their hands trying to get a hold of as much skin as they can. 

Bobby was fine with it. They’ve become too comfortable with each other and they’ve been making out more than what is considered as normal. He was aware, though, that there should be a line drawn right now. They weren’t in his room, not in his car either. They were outside Hanbin’s house where they could be seen. But that fact doesn’t seem to faze Hanbin because he sneaks his hand into his shorts, palms his half-hard cock over his boxers, and Bobby pulls away instantly, startled. Hanbin groans and chases his lips, Bobby steadies him with his hand, pushing him slightly. 

“What?”

“We’re outside,” Bobby says it in a low voice like he didn’t want anyone to hear him. 

“So?”

He couldn’t believe Hanbin wasn’t bothered. He stares at him sternly as if he wanted him to _understand_ why it’s bad for them to be touching each other’s cocks right where his neighbors might see them. “It’s public indecency.”

Hanbin grunts in annoyance when he takes his hand out of his shorts. “It’s public indecency if you’re parading yourself naked publicly. Nobody’s gonna see your cock except me,” the younger reasons. 

“Still—”

“And besides, it’ll only take you a minute. You haven’t been touched properly for a year, hyung. I’m lucky if you can get past five strokes,” Hanbin giggles as he slips his hand back in his shorts, and then into his boxers, wrapping his cold, pruned hand around his naked cock. 

Bobby is also aware that Hanbin only said that to rile him up. And if he was to act like the better man, he wouldn't have indulged him. But he needed to let loose a little, and Hanbin’s touches feel so good, so instead he says, “Bet I can make you cum faster,” in his ear, with a single lick of an earlobe, and his fingers teasing on his navel. 

Hanbin hums in acknowledgment, shivers too, in anticipation, “Can’t make me cum without touching me.”

Bobby chuckles, “Hmm, bet I can,” but he lifts Hanbin’s ass up and pulls his shorts down, earning a surprised gasp from the younger who momentarily lets go of his cock. He spits on his palm and spreads it on his shaft. “Just to keep you warm,” then he works him in slow agonizing pumps, and Hanbin has to rest his forehead in his shoulder because it’s too good. Bobby knows it. It’s what he does to himself. 

Hanbin’s attempt at keeping up fails miserably every time Bobby would roll his thumb on the tip of his cock, pressing the slit down while sucking on his neck. “Hyung…” he whines, grip on Bobby’s cock loosening, He focuses on trying to get off. This was the first time Bobby had touched him like this, the first time he felt his hands on him. “It’s so good… so good.”

The older takes his hand off of him and presses their cocks together, stroking the both of them tightly. He uses his other finger to tilt his chin upwards, lips captured in another kiss. Hanbin likes this more. He slings his arms around his neck and kisses him back intensely, passionately. If he wasn't so obviously attracted to him, he would think he’s living off the air Bobby gives. He’s enough to satisfy him, and he feels so safe. 

Hanbin bites on his shoulder when he comes, shudders so hard he thought it wasn’t going to end. He catches all of Bobby’s moans when he comes too, growling in his ear as he strokes them both until they’re milked out. Hanbin whines from oversensitivity, squirming away from his hold. Bobby puts him to place. “There’s cum on the pool now,” the older breathes out. 

“Gross.”

“Oh so now it’s gross when just a while ago you were moaning about how good it was,” Bobby teases. He pushes him away and successfully gets off him, pants still hanging a bit low as he takes his dog off the pool. 

“Clean it up, hyung!” 

Bobby calls his name with a bunch of complaints. Hanbin laughs on his way to the bathroom. 

  
  
  
  
  


Hanbin traces the tattoo on his thigh as they lie down on his bed, pressed closely to each other like it would kill them to be separated. Hanbin still couldn’t believe it would be Bobby he’d share the bed with, out of all people. But he supposes he wouldn’t wish for someone else. 

“Do you ever think about why… you’re attracted to men?” Hanbin asks out of the blue. It was quiet between them anyway, maybe he was crossing out things in his mind. 

“I’m not _just_ attracted to men,” Bobby answers, fingers drawing lazy patterns on his arm. 

“Hmm, but how did you find out? How did your parents react?”

It wasn’t actually a very long story. But he found out about it later than the others, he was already an adult. So he was lucky because he didn’t have to explain much. He already had something to prove, he was already his own person. “There was this boy who helped me. I thought I liked him because I wanted to be him, but it wasn’t really like that. Anyway, we spent a lot of time together… and he… well, he trusted me enough to come out to me.”

Hanbin hums as he listens. The thing is, Hanbin didn’t have a hard time coming to terms with his sexuality. His parents were very understanding, his relatives were welcoming. Hanbin considers himself lucky too, although his luck always runs out whenever it comes to the people he opens his heart to. And maybe, Bobby could be the exception. 

“And I think, along the way, I liked him too. He made me realize I could be brave like that too. That I could trust people too,” Bobby smiles in his hair. “Anyway, the first person that I told was my Mom. She was shocked at first. We didn’t talk for days, I gave her time. Then she contacted me, invited me for dinner with the whole family, told me she was fine, that I was fine, that she loves me. I may have cried or two,” he laughs. “And after that dinner, I immediately called him to tell him the same. We met up. We kissed. And then I realized, yeah, this is what I wanted. This is what makes me happy.”

Hanbin wants to ask where that guy is now but he keeps it to himself. He hugs him tighter instead, shoves himself further into the embrace. 

“I’ve learned the hard way not to put my happiness on other people though. Junhoe—” there was an uncomfortable pause in Bobby’s words. Of course, it was him. It’ll always be him. Bobby clears his throat, “You know what happened,” he says defeatedly.

Hanbin lifts his head to face him, he asks, “Do you still think about him sometimes?”

Bobby stares right at him, he answers, “He hasn’t crossed my mind since you.”

He smiles, “I wish he’d just disappear in there, or fade away, all replaced by me.”

The older shakes his head, kisses the tip of his nose, “You consume me enough.”

Hanbin hopes he really is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> I'm here sometimes: [@bootleglies](https://mobile.twitter.com/bootleglies)


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